Learn Ways to Communicate Without Yelling

As a therapist, I sit in the presence of individuals, couples and families who share stories about the challenges in their interpersonal relationships. What remains with me, after decades of being a privileged listener, is a litany of complaints about how yelling is the primary means of communication between them and if not a direct reaction to disagreement, it becomes the default mode when the temperature rises.  As a human being who does my level best to take the professional hat off in my own interactions outside the office and sometimes failing miserably, I know all too well, the temptation to increase the volume of my voice if I feel I am not being heard. The paradox is that many put shields up when they feel aurally assaulted and don’t hear all that is said. People often respond better to whispers than roars. I’m an example of that as well. I grew up in a household that was primarily peaceful. I can count on a few fingers the number of times when conflict was verbalized between my parents and between them and myself. In my nearly 12-year-marriage that ended when my husband died, such was not the case. He was intimately acquainted with anger, since his childhood home was fraught with it, and he carried it like a bag of rocks into our relationship. Although much of our decade-plus-two was loving, major aspects were toxic and was lacking the emotional safety everyone deserves. After Michael died, I wore the mantle of single parent to my then 11-year-old son, and not ...
Source: World of Psychology - Category: Psychiatry & Psychology Authors: Tags: Anger Communication Anger Management Conflict Source Type: blogs