Steve Pavlina's Personal Development Blog 
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This is an RSS file. You can use it to subscribe to this data in your favourite RSS reader or to display this data on your own website or blog.How to Handle People Who Easily Become Defensive
I had a great realization when going through Dr. Julie Helmrich’s Science of Conflict course recently. One idea from that course helped me make sense of an issue that had been popping up now and then in my relationships.
She noted that a key reason that people become defensive during conflict is that their inner critic gets triggered. They’ve already gone through many rounds of internal conversation with this inner critic. So when a problem or issue is raised as if it’s new, it’s really not new. The other person is probably well aware of it. They’ve already beat themselves up for it many ti...
Source: Steve Pavlina's Personal Development Blog - December 20, 2020 Category: Psychiatry & Psychology Authors: Steve Pavlina Tags: Emotions Relationships Source Type: blogs
One Browser Tab Only
It scares me when people tell me they have 10+ web browser tabs regularly open at the same time. For some it’s well into the dozens. This isn’t intelligent behavior; it will have a negative impact on your mental functioning if you make this a habit.
How is it possible to have 10+ browser tabs open regularly and not have some part of you crying out to learn single-handling?
You probably don’t even see how distracted your mind is while doing this. If you’ve been doing this long enough, it may even seem normal for you. That’s a dreadful situation to find yourself in. I suggest you break the...
Source: Steve Pavlina's Personal Development Blog - December 19, 2020 Category: Psychiatry & Psychology Authors: Steve Pavlina Tags: Lifestyle Productivity Source Type: blogs
One Browser Tab Only
It scares me when people tell me they have 10+ web browser tabs regularly open at the same time. For some it’s well into the dozens. This isn’t intelligent behavior; it will have a negative impact on your mental functioning if you make this a habit.
How is it possible to have 10+ browser tabs open regularly and not have some part of you crying out to learn single-handling?
You probably don’t even see how distracted your mind is while doing this. If you’ve been doing this long enough, it may even seem normal for you. That’s a dreadful situation to find yourself in. I suggest you break the...
Source: Steve Pavlina's Personal Development Blog - December 19, 2020 Category: Psychiatry & Psychology Authors: Steve Pavlina Tags: Lifestyle Productivity Source Type: blogs
Can You Trust a Life of Fun?
During my late teens, each time I got caught shoplifting and had to deal with the consequences, my mind would dwell on what I could have done differently. I went over and over different actions I could have taken to avoid the arrest.
This helped me get better at shoplifting. Each arrest or near-arrest made me refine my techniques. I learned to shoplift more valuable items and at lower risk.
I started out stealing candy bars and cassette tapes. Several months later I was stealing video games and small electronics like telephone-answering machines – remember those? Then I progressed to larger items like TVs, cutlery ...
Source: Steve Pavlina's Personal Development Blog - December 18, 2020 Category: Psychiatry & Psychology Authors: Steve Pavlina Tags: Emotions Lifestyle Values Source Type: blogs
Can You Trust a Life of Fun?
During my late teens, each time I got caught shoplifting and had to deal with the consequences, my mind would dwell on what I could have done differently. I went over and over different actions I could have taken to avoid the arrest.
This helped me get better at shoplifting. Each arrest or near-arrest made me refine my techniques. I learned to shoplift more valuable items and at lower risk.
I started out stealing candy bars and cassette tapes. Several months later I was stealing video games and small electronics like telephone-answering machines – remember those? Then I progressed to larger items like TVs, cutlery ...
Source: Steve Pavlina's Personal Development Blog - December 18, 2020 Category: Psychiatry & Psychology Authors: Steve Pavlina Tags: Emotions Lifestyle Values Source Type: blogs
Can You Trust a Life of Fun?
During my late teens, each time I got caught shoplifting and had to deal with the consequences, my mind would dwell on what I could have done differently. I went over and over different actions I could have taken to avoid the arrest.
This helped me get better at shoplifting. Each arrest or near-arrest made me refine my techniques. I learned to shoplift more valuable items and at lower risk.
I started out stealing candy bars and cassette tapes. Several months later I was stealing video games and small electronics like telephone-answering machines – remember those? Then I progressed to larger items like TVs, cutlery ...
Source: Steve Pavlina's Personal Development Blog - December 18, 2020 Category: Psychiatry & Psychology Authors: Steve Pavlina Tags: Emotions Lifestyle Values Source Type: blogs
Proactive Boundary Management
A recent gift from a friend included a question card deck, and one of the questions was:
What is one of the most valuable lessons you have learned in the past year?
I’d say my biggest lesson of this year was to more deeply understand the relationship between intelligent boundary management and investing in deep and meaningful connections with people.
I had understood the importance of saying a firm “no” to partial matches as they arise. It’s necessary to reserve space to say “yes” to those really aligned opportunities, and I can’t do that if I’m caught up fussing wit...
Source: Steve Pavlina's Personal Development Blog - December 17, 2020 Category: Psychiatry & Psychology Authors: Steve Pavlina Tags: Relationships Values Source Type: blogs
Proactive Boundary Management
A recent gift from a friend included a question card deck, and one of the questions was:
What is one of the most valuable lessons you have learned in the past year?
I’d say my biggest lesson of this year was to more deeply understand the relationship between intelligent boundary management and investing in deep and meaningful connections with people.
I had understood the importance of saying a firm “no” to partial matches as they arise. It’s necessary to reserve space to say “yes” to those really aligned opportunities, and I can’t do that if I’m caught up fussing wit...
Source: Steve Pavlina's Personal Development Blog - December 17, 2020 Category: Psychiatry & Psychology Authors: Steve Pavlina Tags: Relationships Values Source Type: blogs
Thriving Without a God
In your favorite models of reality, do you include a god or gods? Have you tested models and frames that are god-free to see how well they work for you?
I grew up learning models of reality that include a god, in that case a Christian version of one. Later I went atheist, and I enjoyed the godless style of living – perhaps a little too much. It was way more fun, but it took me a few years to find my footing with it.
After that I explored some New Age models that included angels, spirit guides, Source, and so on. There are many flexible ways to include divinity in our models of reality, but one key aspect is whether...
Source: Steve Pavlina's Personal Development Blog - December 16, 2020 Category: Psychiatry & Psychology Authors: Steve Pavlina Tags: Creating Reality Relationships Source Type: blogs
Thriving Without a God
In your favorite models of reality, do you include a god or gods? Have you tested models and frames that are god-free to see how well they work for you?
I grew up learning models of reality that include a god, in that case a Christian version of one. Later I went atheist, and I enjoyed the godless style of living – perhaps a little too much. It was way more fun, but it took me a few years to find my footing with it.
After that I explored some New Age models that included angels, spirit guides, Source, and so on. There are many flexible ways to include divinity in our models of reality, but one key aspect is whether...
Source: Steve Pavlina's Personal Development Blog - December 16, 2020 Category: Psychiatry & Psychology Authors: Steve Pavlina Tags: Creating Reality Relationships Source Type: blogs
Thriving Without a God
In your favorite models of reality, do you include a god or gods? Have you tested models and frames that are god-free to see how well they work for you?
I grew up learning models of reality that include a god, in that case a Christian version of one. Later I went atheist, and I enjoyed the godless style of living – perhaps a little too much. It was way more fun, but it took me a few years to find my footing with it.
After that I explored some New Age models that included angels, spirit guides, Source, and so on. There are many flexible ways to include divinity in our models of reality, but one key aspect is whether...
Source: Steve Pavlina's Personal Development Blog - December 16, 2020 Category: Psychiatry & Psychology Authors: Steve Pavlina Tags: Creating Reality Relationships Source Type: blogs
