Steve Pavlina's Personal Development Blog This is an RSS file. You can use it to subscribe to this data in your favourite RSS reader or to display this data on your own website or blog.

The Spiritual Purpose of a Relationship
Each relationship that you’ve had, whether short-term or long-term, can be interpreted through the lens of spiritual purpose. Why are you and your partner in each other’s lives? What are you here to do for each other spiritually? I’d learned of this concept during my 20s but just in a very limited way. The idea was that we’re all spiritual teachers for each other. A relationship is supposedly a spiritual growth experience. I think that framing held me back because it doesn’t fully encompass what’s possible. My first marriage to Erin did seem to have that purpose of being co-t...
Source: Steve Pavlina's Personal Development Blog - December 7, 2020 Category: Psychiatry & Psychology Authors: Steve Pavlina Tags: Abundance Relationships Source Type: blogs

Is Manifesting a Physical Skill, a Mental Skill, or a Spiritual Skill?
People often frame their manifesting skills as something spiritual, mental, or a combination of the two. Manifesting is often treated as something akin to prayer. Ask the universe for what you desire, and hopefully you’ll receive it. But what if manifesting is actually a physical skill in disguise? Other mental skills, including reading, writing, speaking, and solving math problems, are actually physical skills too. Your physical brain implements these skills on your neural hardware. If your brain is damaged in certain ways, you could lose some of your mental skills. We often overlook the connection between ...
Source: Steve Pavlina's Personal Development Blog - December 6, 2020 Category: Psychiatry & Psychology Authors: Steve Pavlina Tags: Abundance Creating Reality Health Source Type: blogs

Goals of Being
Many years ago one of my goals for public speaking was to design and deliver my own three-day workshop on the Las Vegas Strip. I first achieved that goal in 2009. That was a goal of doing. Another goal I had for public speaking was to develop such strong comfort with public speaking that I could feel fully present in front of an audience, so I could be spontaneous and in the moment and not feel anxiety or nervousness – just enjoyment, fun, playfulness, and connection. I achieved that goal somewhere along the way. I demonstrated it at the three-day 2015 Conscious Heart Workshop, delivered spontaneously with lots of fun...
Source: Steve Pavlina's Personal Development Blog - December 5, 2020 Category: Psychiatry & Psychology Authors: Steve Pavlina Tags: Abundance Emotions Lifestyle Productivity Source Type: blogs

Making Unpopular Decisions
If you’re committed to learning and growing, you’ll need to get used to making decisions that others disagree with. It’s inevitable that you’ll eventually face decisions that are opposed by some social resistance. Maybe you’d love to pursue the path of entrepreneurship, but your family thinks it’s a bad idea. Maybe you’d like to upgrade your diet, but your friends keep trying to talk you out of it. Maybe you’d like to explore an open relationship, but your partner keeps nudging you away from that. If you’re in a situation like this, you’re not alone. T...
Source: Steve Pavlina's Personal Development Blog - December 4, 2020 Category: Psychiatry & Psychology Authors: Steve Pavlina Tags: Lifestyle Relationships Source Type: blogs

Pondering a 365-Day Challenge for 2021
Are you thinking about doing a 365-day challenge for 2021? I’m already thinking about doing another one. I still have 4 weeks left on my 2020 daily blogging challenge, which actually started on December 24, 2019. It feels like an easy coast to the finish line after blogging for 345 days in a row. Doing something every day for a year can be transformational, even if you stop after that year, because it creates an empowering reference experience. You gain a memory of achievement that you’ll have for the rest of your life. Knowing that you can do something every day for a year helps you nuke any future exc...
Source: Steve Pavlina's Personal Development Blog - December 3, 2020 Category: Psychiatry & Psychology Authors: Steve Pavlina Tags: Health Lifestyle Source Type: blogs

Your Exploration Baseline
When you explore something new, you’re exploring relative to a previous baseline. When you explore a new diet, your baseline is your previous way of eating. When you explore a new travel-rich lifestyle, your baseline is your previous stay-at-home lifestyle. When you explore a new relationship and you weren’t in a relationship right before, your baseline is being single. Your default baseline is your normal, usual, routine, or expected experience in that particular area of life. Your baseline is your status quo. But does that have to be your baseline? If exploration is relative to your baseline...
Source: Steve Pavlina's Personal Development Blog - December 2, 2020 Category: Psychiatry & Psychology Authors: Steve Pavlina Tags: Health Lifestyle Productivity Source Type: blogs

Expansion Through Constriction
Some people assume that when constraints are imposed upon their lives, they have fewer possibilities, and therefore life becomes more limiting. This isn’t actually true though. In each case you probably still have a ridiculously high number of possible choices, way more than you could seriously consider, let alone act upon. So for all practical purposes, you’re still dealing with infinities. If you have infinite possibilities and eliminate 50%, 90%, or even 99% of your options, you still have infinite possibilities remaining. So when COVID locks you down… or when you’re running low on mo...
Source: Steve Pavlina's Personal Development Blog - December 1, 2020 Category: Psychiatry & Psychology Authors: Steve Pavlina Tags: Abundance Creating Reality Source Type: blogs

NaNoWriMo – Day 30
Today is the final day of NaNoWriMo. I added about 2000 more words to my novel-in-progress this morning. My final word count for the month came in at 55,051 words. The challenge of NaNoWriMo (National Novel Writing Month) is to write 50,000 words of a new novel in 30 days, so I exceeded this target by about 10%. Here’s my daily progress log, showing my total word count (darker color) versus the daily pacing needed to hit 50K words (lighter color). I surpassed the target pacing by a small amount on Day 1 and then padded my lead every day afterwards. It felt good to always be a little bit ahead throughout the cha...
Source: Steve Pavlina's Personal Development Blog - November 30, 2020 Category: Psychiatry & Psychology Authors: Steve Pavlina Tags: Abundance Lifestyle Productivity Source Type: blogs

NaNoWriMo – Days 24-29
I crossed the 50K-word NaNoWriMo finish line yesterday morning, writing 51,262 words in 28 days, so I achieved this goal 2 days ahead of schedule. When I updated my word count yesterday, I received a congratulatory video, a bunch of links to claim the NaNoWriMo “prizes” (discounted promotions for various writer tools and services), and this completion certificate. The way I framed this goal, however, was to add at least 1667 words per day to the novel for the full 30 days, so I didn’t stop after 28 days. After this morning’s writing session (Day 29), the novel is at 53,007 words. So tomorr...
Source: Steve Pavlina's Personal Development Blog - November 29, 2020 Category: Psychiatry & Psychology Authors: Steve Pavlina Tags: Lifestyle Productivity Source Type: blogs

When Friends Turn Nutter
What do you do when friends of yours turn nutter on you, such as when they descend into conspiracy theories, Trumpism, etc? If they’ve otherwise been good friends, it can be distressing to watch them go down such a dark path. You may wonder if something happened to their brains, like a buildup of toxicity that made them turn. You may wonder if you could have done something to prevent their excursion into anti-truth. You may wonder how on earth they could be so ridiculously deluded. You may ponder how to frame this situation going forward. Did they just turn stupid? Turn into assholes? Get sucked down some racis...
Source: Steve Pavlina's Personal Development Blog - November 28, 2020 Category: Psychiatry & Psychology Authors: Steve Pavlina Tags: Relationships Source Type: blogs

The Q Factor
As I mentioned in a previous post about NaNoWriMo, the Q factor is a semi-surprise element that the main character of a story can use to solve a problem or escape a trap, especially in the final act of the story. The term comes from James Bond movies where the character known as Q gives James some techie gifts early in the story, like a car that turns into a submarine, and then much later James uses those toys to his advantage. Even though these gifts were introduced earlier, the audience won’t likely consider them cheats because we knew James had them in his possession, but we probably forget about them by the ti...
Source: Steve Pavlina's Personal Development Blog - November 27, 2020 Category: Psychiatry & Psychology Authors: Steve Pavlina Tags: Abundance Source Type: blogs

The Runway to a 30-Day Challenge
I often do diet experiments in the form of 30-day trials (or longer). I define a crisp plan to follow, and then I strictly adhere to those boundaries for the time of the experiment. Usually before I begin a clearly defined challenge, I first go through a period of whittling away temptations. This phase typically begins a few weeks before the start of the challenge. During this time, I’ll identify the most tempting foods and gradually eat them till they’re gone. I try not to overdo it by binging on them. I just naturally let them run out at whatever rate I was eating them before. I stop replenishing those foo...
Source: Steve Pavlina's Personal Development Blog - November 26, 2020 Category: Psychiatry & Psychology Authors: Steve Pavlina Tags: Health Productivity Source Type: blogs

Set an Incompatible Goal
One way to shift your character – and your life – in a new direction is to set a goal that’s incompatible with the limitations of your current character. In other words, set a goal that you would would never set. Then work diligently to pursue and achieve that goal. Thinking you can’t do something because it’s out of character for you is still just a thought. You can change your thoughts, but sometimes it’s easier to change your actions and behaviors and let you thoughts play catch-up. Sometimes thoughts of who you are just get in your way and slow you down. When you try to change yours...
Source: Steve Pavlina's Personal Development Blog - November 25, 2020 Category: Psychiatry & Psychology Authors: Steve Pavlina Tags: Abundance Creating Reality Lifestyle Source Type: blogs

NaNoWriMo – Days 20-23
My novel is at 41,347 words now. I’m averaging about 1800 words per day, on pace to hit 50K words on November 28. I recently decided to tackle the most challenging part, which was to figure out the Q factor and how I’m going to end the story in Act 3. I opted to just start writing to see what came through even though I didn’t have a good idea when I started. What is the Q factor? The Q factor is a reference to the Q character in James Bond. It’s when Bond is given some gadget early in the story that he can use to escape a difficult trap later on, like a pen that houses a laser beam that can cut through ba...
Source: Steve Pavlina's Personal Development Blog - November 24, 2020 Category: Psychiatry & Psychology Authors: Steve Pavlina Tags: Lifestyle Source Type: blogs

Cancel Thanksgiving
The USA just reached 10 million reported COVID infections earlier this month. Now it’s beyond 12.5 million and is on track to hit 14 million by the end of the month. It’s been estimated that at least 3 million people are probably infectious right now, and many don’t know it because they’re asymptomatic. The real number could be a lot higher. A few days ago we hit another new high: 204K new cases in one day. This is after just recently breaking 100K for the first time. Deaths are still ticking up as well, now around 2K per day. I imagine that’s going to be a lot higher in December. In ...
Source: Steve Pavlina's Personal Development Blog - November 23, 2020 Category: Psychiatry & Psychology Authors: Steve Pavlina Tags: Lifestyle Relationships Source Type: blogs