When You ’ re Struggling with Self-Loathing in Bipolar Disorder

Many people with bipolar disorder struggle with self-loathing. Maybe the self-loathing starts as the depressive phase does with all sorts of awful thoughts about yourself. Because that’s how depression works: It outright lies, and inflicts pain. You can’t do anything right. You’re an abject failure. You’re also stupid. And worthless, and no one will ever really love you for you. You are not attractive or thin or strong enough. You are weak, and you are an embarrassment. Maybe it happens after a manic or hypomanic episode, because you feel terrible about what you did or said during that time. And the regret, remorse and shame turn into self-hatred. Maybe the self-loathing lingers always, swimming under the surface, or “simmering at a low temperature,” as clinical psychologist Cynthia G. Last, PhD, said. Last specializes in treating individuals with bipolar disorder in Boca Raton, Fla. “If I’m being ‘real,’ I always hate myself,” said Gabe Howard, a writer and speaker who has bipolar I disorder. “Nothing I ever do is good enough. It doesn’t matter what I achieve, I will always find a way to tear it down…” “It’s worse when I actually fail—like if a project goes poorly, or like when I was going through my divorces. It’s worse when I’m depressed.” When people compliment Howard, he assumes they’re making fun of him. He requests reassurance often: Was that OK? Is that what you wanted? “Then I try to figu...
Source: Psych Central - Category: Psychiatry Authors: Tags: Bipolar Disorders General Self-Esteem Self-Help Autoimmune Disease Bipolar Disorder Mood Disorder Negative Thoughts Self Hatred Self Loathing Source Type: news