The Truth About Gay Men and Depression

It's time to reveal the truth and I'm just going to say it: gay men and depression coexist. Dark, unfathomable, or uneasy, it's just the truth. I realized I was depressed when I was 12 years old. My parents had divorced, I had trouble making friends at school and my mood felt as heavy as the fog that lays over the city of San Francisco where I grew up. I didn't want to get out of bed and life seemed entirely different than the happy childhood I once knew. Life before depression was idealistic. I enjoyed creative arts and running. I also had big dreams to become an actor in New York City. My friends knew me as the outgoing, sarcastic, fun-loving kid who loved to give everyone hugs and sweet compliments. Once depression hit, I became serious and relentless to become the best damn performer, runner and creative artist amongst my peers. I pursued these hobbies as an escape to hide my true sadness. I used the mask of perfectionism to hide what was going on beneath the surface. Under the mask, I was alone, scared and helpless. I felt isolated and I didn't think life was worth living. When I realized my attraction to men, the shame felt heavy. I thought, "f., another reason to hate myself." The homophobia I felt toward myself was stronger than some of the most conservative, right-winged, gay-hating bigots we know. The shame was real, and it's shadow followed me every day, wherever I turned. The lowest point of my depression was after a psychiatrist prescribed me a heavy dosage ...
Source: Healthy Living - The Huffington Post - Category: Consumer Health News Source Type: news