Vanity Came Knocking: Being Safe with My Bipolar

I nearly checked myself into the mental ward recently. I’ve been once, and it is no vacation. But, one ordinary day in September, I was in that much pain. And I didn’t trust myself enough to be safe — all over some vanity and pride. For the most part, over the years, my bipolar disorder has been tamped down with medication, therapy and stress reduction. And, until that day, I thought I was in remission. But I was wrong. Remission for me meant experiencing episodes that weren’t much worse than having a bad cold. I didn’t have any mixed episodes, full-blown mania or crushing depression.1 I like the idea of being well so much that I can be a little dishonest — or a lot dishonest — with myself when I’m not. In any event, I began to think I was BP-lite, if you will. Not a sickie like other people. After all, I’m a breadwinner, a fairly capable mom, a generally kind wife. I never stop taking my daily meds, blah, blah, blah. And in this state of pompous reflection, I started to think that maybe it was all overblown — that I wasn’t as mentally ill as my circle of trust (psychiatrist, family) thought. I should have seen the warning signs. This “I’m invincible” thinking allowed my pride and ego to take over. I started giving myself way too much credit for my so-called remission. I started to think that I was singlehandedly holding myself together, and that I’d beat this bipolar thing. That type of thinking gets me into ...
Source: World of Psychology - Category: Psychiatrists and Psychologists Authors: Tags: Bipolar Brain and Behavior Depression Disorders General Mania Medications Mental Health and Wellness Personal Treatment Arrogance Blah Bp Breadwinner Chantix Daily Basis Day In September Ego Failed Attempt Medication Source Type: blogs