Happy? Me? Strange, new feeling! : )
I am actually happy and content with my life right now! It is a wonderful, if not scary, feeling. I haven't felt this good in so long that I can't even remember when it was. I find it sad that whenever I am simply happy I don't trust my feelings. I have to analyze "am I too happy?", but no, I have zero hypomanic symptoms. I really am simply happy. Then I start worrying and even warning people about how depressed I can get and probably will be again soon. Surely this can't last? And I know it won't. Eventually, for everyone, something situational will happen to bring me way down. But even still, that is normal, right? What is NOT normal is the way I process it and where it leads me. I am dreading, absolutely dreading the winter, and it is almost here in Chicago. I was pretty depressed last winter, probably from January - March or maybe April. Things started turning around when the time changed and there was more daylight. I don't know how I could possibly warn anyone close to me any more than I have about my depression. I do not want to lose ANYONE I am close to right now, that I have grown so fond of, because of it. Last year I got Seasonal Affective Disorder which was finally diagnosed when I was able to force myself to see my psychiatrist. The thing is - I wasn't even able to do that UNTIL I started feeling better, when winter was ending and the weather was...
Source: bipolar.and.me - Category: Psychiatry Source Type: blogs
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