Catching Up Before I Forget...

I have absolutely no idea what I have written to date.  Writing is so incredibly therapeutic to me, I am going to get back into the habit of writing regularly again.My divorce was final on August 24.  I thought I would be great, happy even.  I was SO wrong.  I didn ' t even know I was falling apart the week before the divorce was final, but I knew I felt emotionally overwhelmed.  I kept listening to the song " Over My Head (Cable Car) by the Fray, identifying with the lyrics, yet...it never clicked in my head that I was about to...I guess have a kind of breakdown I suppose?  No, not the breakdown - breakthrough type.I ' ve discovered something about myself.  I am not sure if this is a new discovery or if it ' s in my blog a trillion times.  I know that I KNEW it about myself, it ' s just been CRAZY MAGNIFIED now.I already knew I had a really big fear with people getting close to me then hurting me, so I would push them away before they had the chance to hurt me.But then starting in August 2016, my ex boyfriend from the 90 ' s mother contacted me to tell me he had committed suicide.  We had become friendly and sent messages back and forth, yet I knew something had been wrong for awhile.  Suicide is not easy to reconcile in your mind at ALL, although I understood more than others who had not experienced the feelings, I ' m sure.Four months later (December 2016), my mother ' s husband sent a message through Facebook to tell me th...
Source: bipolar.and.me - Category: Psychiatry Source Type: blogs