To Be Healthy Is to Be Loving

I went for a run because I had eaten a small, organic, dark chocolate cookie the day before and I felt that I had to punish myself. It was habitual for me to punish myself with strenuous, caloric compensation cardio whenever I felt guilty for enjoying life by eating tasty foods. When I placed first in a fitness competition, my fitness goals went up a notch. Winning the competition was one thing, but people complimenting me on my extra lean body pressured me to stay that way. I couldn’t allow myself to look “bigger” again, and “bigger” really meant not seeing my defined ab muscles. It was a sunny Sunday afternoon just after midday when I went for that run. Cresting a hill in the park, I came across a family outing. The adults were talking and laughing, and the kids were playing with a ball. They had bagels, cakes, sodas, and fried foods set around an improvised table. The family members were all overweight; some were even obese. Out of breath from the incline of the hill, my body slowed but my thoughts sped up. Look at them! These people should be ashamed of themselves. All fat, and they come to the park just to eat more fatty foods. They should be exercising, restricting their diets. How irresponsible. These judgments were quickly succeeded by a stream of thoughts that sprang up in my mind one after another, like weeds. I don’t like having to run; why did I eat that cookie? I wish I had friends and family to be with right now. My knee hurts; the brace isn’t rea...
Source: World of Psychology - Category: Psychiatry & Psychology Authors: Tags: Anorexia Binge Eating Bulimia Eating Disorders Health-related Mental Health and Wellness Mindfulness Personal Spirituality Fitness Loving Kindness Meditation self-compassion Source Type: blogs