Parenting: The Importance of Expectations

Ask any parent and they’ll tell you parenting is not for wimps. It requires courage to face the terrifying uncertainty of caring for a helpless infant; the uncontrollable tantrums of an oppositional toddler; the tears of the older child when limits are set; to the rage of the adolescent when their independence is challenged, and whose criticisms cut like a sharp knife to the heart. Through it all, love and discipline must hold steady and strong. Do not lose hope. There are some things parents can do to make life easier and reduce stress. Our expectations are one of them. As a Clinical Social Worker counseling families and children for 20 years with the Child Guidance Clinic in Winnipeg, I have seen an assortment of countless conflicts arise as a direct consequence of unrealistic expectations. Take 7-year-old Kevin, for example. His single mother agrees to allow him to go to the nearby local community center to play hockey after school with this proviso, “You are to be home at 6:00 for supper,” she reminds him. “Sure, Mom,” he hollers as he grabs his skates and runs out the door. But when 6:00 rolls around — no Kevin. By 6:20 she is in a panic and preparing to go to the rink when he shows up at the door. “Hi, Mom”, he says, happily, oblivious of any problem. “Where were you?” she attacks. “We agreed on 6:00. You’re grounded, young man. Go to your room!” Kevin’s happy mood abruptly changes to sadness. Bewildered and confused, Kevin’s face ...
Source: World of Psychology - Category: Psychiatry & Psychology Authors: Tags: Children and Teens Family Parenting Self-Help Stress Adolescence Anger Child Development childhood Cognitive Psychology Conflict Developmental psychology Expectation Growing Up punishment Reinforcement Tantrums Unrealisti Source Type: blogs