Explosions and anxiety: Adult special needs life is a tough haul

My 26yo son, " #1 " , is pretty solidly in the 3-4th (bottom) percentile of cognitive abilities. It ' s a cognitive continuum of course; what ' s true of the 3rd percentile can also be true of the 10th or the 20th -- especially when lack of sleep or alcohol is involved. So this isn ' t just about special needs adults. It ' s something useful to understand for tens of millions of Americans.The other day he exploded. No harm came of it, except to him. It ' sa behavior we ' ve known from childhood though it ' s only with time we came to understand how closely tied it is to his anxiety.It happened during an ice hockey game. We play together at local pickup games. He ' s a good mid-level adult hockey player, a step above me and our usual pickup skaters, but he ' s not a fitness guy. He gets tired towards the end of a game and, unlike a neurotypical player, he doesn ' t push himself. He just takes it easy. (This logical but socially wrong behavior isn ' t unique to #1.) This can irritate teammates who expect him to perform well.In this case a teammate made a mildly inappropriate (for this kind of hockey) criticism of #1s lackadaisical play. Once upon a time I ' d have done the same, but I ' ve learned it doesn ' t work. What works is to praise the things he does well. (This simple principle took me forever to learn and apply.)I get those kinds of comments myself from better players sometime -- but I enjoy them. It means I can guilt my critic into being a reluctant game-lo...
Source: Be the Best You can Be - Category: Disability Tags: ADHD adult anxiety athletics autism behavioral therapy cognitive impairment community discrimination exercise Explosive Child legal Source Type: blogs