10 Steps Toward Gratitude During Difficult Times
It's easy to feel grateful when life is going well, and certainly, it’s desirable to acknowledge life at its best with appropriate gratitude. What’s not easy is finding gratitude when life is hard. Is it even realistic to try? Yes. Discovering gratitude during difficult times can be a giant step toward peace.
View the slideshow on HealthCentral for more about the benefits of gratitude - even when life is tough:
Minding Our Elders: Caregivers Share Their Personal Stories. "For anyone having to walk the last segments of life with a loved one, read this.” …Delores
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Source: Minding Our Elders - November 24, 2022 Category: Geriatrics Authors: Carol Bradley Bursack Source Type: blogs
When Parents with Dementia Don't Realize They Need Help
Your once easy-going dad now thinks you’re stealing from him. Your ever-frugal mom is buying odd things she finds on the Internet. You know that these types of personality changes can be signs of dementia, yet when you offer to help, you're vehemently rebuffed. How do you convince your cognitively fragile parents to accept support? How hard do you push? There’s no easy answer, but there are steps you can take.
View slideshow about helping parents who don't want help on HealthCentral (Carol is the Candid Caregiver):
Minding Our Elders: Caregivers Share Their Personal Stories. "For anyone having to walk th...
Source: Minding Our Elders - November 23, 2022 Category: Geriatrics Authors: Carol Bradley Bursack Source Type: blogs
What People with Dementia Wish Their Caregivers Knew
People living with dementia are the only ones who really understand what it’s like to live with their form of the disease, whether it’s Alzheimer’s or another type such as frontotemporal (FTD) or Lewy body (LBD). Sadly, the ability to communicate becomes compromised by dementia. That being said, care partners can, if we take time to search out the meaning behind their words or actions, continue to improve the care provided. Here are some tips that can help you.
View the complete slideshow on HealthCentral to learn more about what people living with dementia wish we knew:
Minding Our Elders: Caregivers Share Their P...
Source: Minding Our Elders - November 22, 2022 Category: Geriatrics Authors: Carol Bradley Bursack Source Type: blogs
Overcoming Denial to Seek Potential Dementia Diagnosis
An article in the UK Telegraph reported on a survey showing that two-thirds of people over the age of 50 are more afraid of developing dementia than of getting cancer. Other surveys show similar percentages.
One reason for this intense fear of Alzheimer's is obvious. While many types of cancer can be cured, most types of dementia cannot. However, another reason is that the idea of being betrayed by our brains to the point that we are essentially lost in the disease is abhorrent to most of us. This fear, unfortunately, tends to make many people less than willing to see a physician for dementia testing even whe...
Source: Minding Our Elders - November 21, 2022 Category: Geriatrics Authors: Carol Bradley Bursack Source Type: blogs
Couple Affected by Dementia Wants to Express Thanksgiving Gratitude
Dear Carol: My husband has Alzheimer’s and even though we could afford a care facility, I want to keep him home as long as possible. This year, for the first time, we’ll go to our son’s home for both Thanksgiving and Christmas dinners. It will be delightful, I know, but in the past, our local extended family always came to our home for holiday meals. This is a big change, so we’re already missing the old days when we could host these lovely times. Your columns give us hope that there can be some dignity in this process of letting go of what was and appreciating what we have now. To help us do this, we’ve de...
Source: Minding Our Elders - November 20, 2022 Category: Geriatrics Authors: Carol Bradley Bursack Source Type: blogs
Orecchiette with Basil Pesto, Fennel & Sausage
As the weather turns towards winter, the basil plant on my windowsill begins to worry me. Sure, it has sun in that spot, but less and less with each day, and eventually not enough to keep it alive when cold winds pummel the adjacent glass. Time to harvest what basil remains before it’s lost. I had just enough basil for a batch of pesto, but no pine nuts. What I did have was a tiny jar of walnuts in my freezer – exactly the amount I needed! So I made a batch of pesto using my recipe for basil pesto, substituting walnuts for pine nuts.
I also had about 2 cups of homemade chicken broth in the freezer. So I sco...
Source: The Blog That Ate Manhattan - November 16, 2022 Category: Primary Care Authors: Margaret Polaneczky, MD Tags: Pasta Rice & Potatoes basil Chicken broth Orecchiette pesto sausage Source Type: blogs
Daughter Broken-Hearted After Dad with Alzheimer's Doesn ’t Recognize Her
Photo credit Luke Southern
Dear Carol: My heart is breaking. For more than five years, I cared for my dad in his own home, then brought him into mine. After two years with me, he needed more help than I could provide so we moved him to memory care. I visit nearly every day, yet yesterday when I went into his room, he asked when his daughter was coming. I know that not recognizing people is a predictable stage of Alzheimer’s but knowing doesn’t help. I swear that was the most painful moment for me so far in our whole Alzheimer’s journey. I need to get a grip on this because choking back tears when ...
Source: Minding Our Elders - November 13, 2022 Category: Geriatrics Authors: Carol Bradley Bursack Source Type: blogs
Dementia: Moving Beyond Diagnosis
For most anyone who has been diagnosed with dementia or has loved someone with a type of dementia, the formal diagnosis was a moment frozen in time. A moment where the thought of possibly having a brain-destroying disease became a confirmed reality. That pivotal moment is life-changing; however, people can move beyond that moment in time and learn to live with dementia.
For our family, that moment arrived after my dad came out of surgery that was supposed to repair damage caused by a World War II brain injury. We had seen Dad wheeled into surgery. He’d propped himself up on one elbow and given us a signal that all would...
Source: Minding Our Elders - November 12, 2022 Category: Geriatrics Authors: Carol Bradley Bursack Source Type: blogs
Unearned Guilt Intrinsic to Most Caregiving
Photo credit Sharon McCutcheon
If ever there's a group of people who suffer deeply from unearned guilt, it’s caregivers. Whether you’re the parent of a vulnerable adult, an adult child of aging parents, or the spouse of a vulnerable adult, you are bound to have your “if only” times where you are sucked into the quicksand of guilt. The reality is that most things you could have done differently wouldn’t have made a huge difference overall. Even if another approach would have made a difference, you can’t go back. Staying mired in guilt is counterproductive for you as well as your care receiver.
While some...
Source: Minding Our Elders - November 11, 2022 Category: Geriatrics Authors: Carol Bradley Bursack Source Type: blogs
Aging in Place or Assisted Living: It's About Choices
It's not hard to understand why 60-year-olds would say that they want to remain in their home for life rather than move to assisted living or a nursing home. These are generally people who are relatively healthy and feel that they can hire help for whatever they need down the road.
Indeed, aging in place sounds like a wonderful concept. What could possibly be wrong with it? The Washington Post interviewed Stephen M. Golant, a University of Florida professor of gerontology, about the trend. Golant views the current. He feels that people should have choices and that aging in place is just one of them. Golant said in the int...
Source: Minding Our Elders - November 10, 2022 Category: Geriatrics Authors: Carol Bradley Bursack Source Type: blogs
Spending Time Second-Guessing Your Caregiving Decisions?
Like most adults, I’ve second-guessed many of my own decisions. While most were made with my own future in mind, that all changed when I became a family caregiver for an ever-increasing number of older adults – a time that also coincided with raising two young children, one with health challenges.
A dying aunt, a budding son: My aunt Marion, who had no children of her own, was in the hospital dying of cancer. While my parents visited her much of the time, I’d been close to her since I first learned to walk, so I tried to see her as much as possible.
One afternoon, it had become evident that Marion was u...
Source: Minding Our Elders - November 9, 2022 Category: Geriatrics Authors: Carol Bradley Bursack Source Type: blogs
Caregivers Supporting Caregivers: Our Decisions Are Unique to Our Situations
Normally, all is well in caregiver support groups. People help and comfort one another, offer advice based on what’s worked for them in a similar situation, or just simply offer a much-appreciated hug — virtual or otherwise. This much-needed, well-meaning support can go off-track when the debate over family home care vs. facility care comes into play. The arguments for and against these choices can be intense, something that only increases the already huge load of unearned guilt that caregivers often carry.
Decisions, decisions: Caregiving decisions are nearly always a matter of trade-offs. Balancing the benefits and ...
Source: Minding Our Elders - November 8, 2022 Category: Geriatrics Authors: Carol Bradley Bursack Source Type: blogs
How to Balance Caregiving Relationships between Generations
...This is how it often happens: You see your parents a lot since you still live in the same community. So, when your mom falls and breaks her arm, of course, you rush to help. You assist your dad with making some adjustments around the house, and then, for the most part, he takes over. Then, the unthinkable: Your dad has a heart attack. You rush in to help. And then…
I refer to this as the “creep-up factor” because while many situations are far less dramatic than the one above, being an adult child adds the role of caregiver to your list that frequently includes wife/husband, girlfriend/boyfriend, mother/gran...
Source: Minding Our Elders - November 7, 2022 Category: Geriatrics Authors: Carol Bradley Bursack Source Type: blogs
With Safety Upgrades, Aging-in-place an Alternative to Moving
Photo credit Mark Timberlake
Dear Carol: My parents are still vigorous and healthy, which is wonderful, but that doesn’t change the fact that they are in their 80s. I’ve been encouraging them to start a plan so they can move out of their home to a safer living situation. They don’t need assisted living yet, but independent living or even a condo or apartment would be safer for them than their big house. When I mention the idea, they sort of agree but then evade and put off doing anything. I understand that they love their home and its memories, but change is needed. How do I motivate them? - DM
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Source: Minding Our Elders - November 6, 2022 Category: Geriatrics Authors: Carol Bradley Bursack Source Type: blogs
Driving and Memory Loss: Tips to Help Elders Give Up Driving
For many of us, a car is a sign of independence. But this emotional connection to our automobiles is part of what makes convincing a person that he or she is no longer capable of driving such a volatile battle. The longer adult children or others wait to discuss driving issues with a loved one, the harder it can be.
Occasionally, people in the earlier stages of cognitive or physical decline will recognize the signs of that decline when they have a close call while driving and scare themselves into giving up their right to drive. More frequently, if the person has developed Alzheimer’s or another type of dementia, and th...
Source: Minding Our Elders - November 5, 2022 Category: Geriatrics Authors: Carol Bradley Bursack Source Type: blogs
