Not Everyone Is Cut Out to Be a Caregiver
Each of us is unique, with our own talents and flaws. Often, our so-called faults are merely ways in which we differ from society’s ever-changing expectations. For example, it used to be a given that married couples would have children if possible. Currently, a significant number of couples are choosing to be childfree. Are they selfish? No. They simply know what they want out of their lives and understand that being parents probably isn’t the best choice for them or their potential children.
Similarly, some people have the insight to recognize that they wouldn’t be able to provide daily hands-on care for a bel...
Source: Minding Our Elders - July 15, 2022 Category: Geriatrics Authors: Carol Bradley Bursack Source Type: blogs
The Best Ways to Support a Caregiving Spouse
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When people get married, they quickly learn that they have made a commitment to more than one person. Essentially you marry your spouse’s whole family. Sometimes in-laws are a wonderful addition. Other times, they can be a challenge or a source of tension in a marriage. Regardless of the nature of your relationship with your spouse’s family, as your in-laws age, it is likely that more and more responsibility for their well-being will creep into your lives. As your husband or wife takes on the role of family caregiver, they will need your emotional support at the very least.
Ideally, y...
Source: Minding Our Elders - July 14, 2022 Category: Geriatrics Authors: Carol Bradley Bursack Source Type: blogs
Confabulation in Dementia Can Feel Like Hurtful Lies
Photo credit Anleale Najera
When a person develops any form of dementia, it is difficult for family and friends to witness their diminishing capacity and the unbearable frustration it brings. One of the worst things we dementia caregivers must cope with is the fact that a loved one’s brain is broken and may cause them to tell terrible “lies” about us. Neurological damage can cause patients to make up hurtful stories and level false accusations toward their caregivers. No matter how far-fetched the untruths and accusations might be, a dementia patient believes these things are true. As much as these untruths may hur...
Source: Minding Our Elders - July 13, 2022 Category: Geriatrics Authors: Carol Bradley Bursack Source Type: blogs
Confabulation in Dementia Can Feel Like Hurtful Lies
Photo credit Anleale Najera
When a person develops any form of dementia, it is difficult for family and friends to witness their diminishing capacity and the unbearable frustration it brings. One of the worst things we dementia caregivers must cope with is the fact that a loved one’s brain is broken and may cause them to tell terrible “lies” about us. Neurological damage can cause patients to make up hurtful stories and level false accusations toward their caregivers. No matter how far-fetched the untruths and accusations might be, a dementia patient believes these things are true. As much as these untruths may hurt...
Source: Minding Our Elders - July 13, 2022 Category: Geriatrics Authors: Carol Bradley Bursack Source Type: blogs
How Caregiving Can Change Your Personality
There’s no getting around it: being a family caregiver is bound to impact how you think and who you are as a person. Taking on this high-stress role that is both physically and mentally demanding can be transformative, especially when you consider that the average duration of caregiving is 4.5 years. Some members of the caregiver forum worry that their personality changes are largely negative. Certainly, stress, exhaustion, and overwhelming responsibilities can take a serious toll on one’s physical and mental health. Caregiver burnout is notorious for sneaking up on even the most organized and level-headed indivi...
Source: Minding Our Elders - July 9, 2022 Category: Geriatrics Authors: Carol Bradley Bursack Source Type: blogs
Respecting Diverse Approaches to Caregiving
There is no one-size-fits-all approach to caregiving. Every family caregiver must be free to make choices that work best for their unique situation. Even then, the available options aren’t always ideal. In this demanding role, we must acknowledge the reality of our individual situation and give it our noblest effort. Unfortunately, with other family members, friends, elder care professionals, fellow caregivers, and the public looking on, it isn’t uncommon to receive a harsh word or two while we juggle these difficult responsibilities. Being human, I suppose we all second-guess others’ choices from time to time, at le...
Source: Minding Our Elders - July 8, 2022 Category: Geriatrics Authors: Carol Bradley Bursack Source Type: blogs
Recognizing Caregiver Burnout
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Caregiver burnout isn’t something that happens all at once. We all have good days and bad days, which is normal. Eventually, though, we may find ourselves inching dangerously close to a meltdown over a situation that would have been considered a mild irritation prior to caregiving. The future begins to look bleak, and our responsibilities seem endless. That’s when you know you’ve reached a breaking point. So, how do you spot and extinguish the small fires that, left smoldering, can eventually lead to burnout? What do you do if you feel your nerves are already fried? The best appr...
Source: Minding Our Elders - July 7, 2022 Category: Geriatrics Authors: Carol Bradley Bursack Source Type: blogs
Dementia Caregiving: Some Truths Learned Through Experience
As we travel our own unique journeys, most of us find that certain phrases or concepts take on the status of truth in our worldview. Our personal principles may not be identical to those of others, but we know what is true for us. Below, I’ve shared a few of my own truths that I have adopted throughout my years of caregiving experience. Some are specific to dementia caregivers, but most are also applicable to other elder care scenarios.
My Principles of Dementia Caregiving
Learn about the kind of dementia your loved one has.
The Alzheimer’s Association defines dementia as “an overall term for diseases and conditions...
Source: Minding Our Elders - July 5, 2022 Category: Geriatrics Authors: Carol Bradley Bursack Source Type: blogs
Helping vs. Enabling: How to Strike a Balance While Caregiving
Photo credit William Krause
Most family caregivers want what is best for their loved ones, and they’ll do whatever it takes to make that happen. Unfortunately, discerning what’s best for a senior is often easier said than done. In many cases, a loved one’s own desires (or demands) may actually jeopardize their health, erode their independence, and diminish their quality of life. Caregivers are left to walk this thin line between helping care recipients just enough and enabling bad behaviors that may come back to bite both parties. Care decisions are hard enough as it is, but how do you know when you’re enabling an ...
Source: Minding Our Elders - July 4, 2022 Category: Geriatrics Authors: Carol Bradley Bursack Source Type: blogs
Caregivers Can Troubleshoot and Empathize Without “Fixing” Everything
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Dear Carol: My mom, now 87, voluntarily moved to assisted living three years ago. She said at the time that she loved it. She continues to have chronic pain from rheumatoid arthritis and takes medications for the usual age-related issues. Even though she forgets things more often than she used to, she doesn’t seem to have dementia. Lately, though, she’s started complaining about being “forced” to move to “this place,” saying that she hates it. Of course, she likes some caregivers better than others, but nothing major seems to have changed regarding her care. I visit several t...
Source: Minding Our Elders - July 3, 2022 Category: Geriatrics Authors: Carol Bradley Bursack Source Type: blogs
Why Does My Older Loved One Sleep All Day?
As people age, they tend to sleep more lightly than when they were younger. Waking up during the night due to achy joints or the need to use the restroom becomes commonplace. Many seniors compensate for this lost sleep by catching a restorative nap during the day. That’s normal. Daytime sleeping only becomes problematic when an elder spends most of their time dozing in bed or their favorite chair instead of engaging in life. If you want your aging loved one to stay awake more during the day and sleep better at night, you will need to discover the underlying reason(s) why they are napping excessively. In some cases,...
Source: Minding Our Elders - July 1, 2022 Category: Geriatrics Authors: Carol Bradley Bursack Source Type: blogs
Dating and Caregiving: An Impossible Mix?
Photo credit Alex Pavloff
Back when you were in high school, you likely found that bringing your new love home to meet your parents was a nerve-wracking experience. Mom and Dad were bound to embarrass you in some way, but you got through the awkwardness because you had to. Now fast forward a couple of decades. Who knew that you’d be facing that same scenario all over again? This time, however, you and your parents are both much older and yet the complications have somehow multiplied when it comes to introducing Mom and Dad to new people—especially a new love interest.
Perhaps your parents have dementia and have l...
Source: Minding Our Elders - June 30, 2022 Category: Geriatrics Authors: Carol Bradley Bursack Source Type: blogs
Planning a “Picnic” for a Loved One in a Senior Living Community
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While most senior living communities offer an array of programs and events, activities directors often work with limited budgets and are challenged to meet their residents’ varied abilities and interests. I was fortunate to have an exceptional nursing home close to my house during my caregiving years, and my parents, my uncle, my mother-in-law, and even an elderly neighbor all resided there at some point.
There were plenty of activities and events offered year-round and on holidays, but the annual summer barbecue and picnic were by far one of the most anticipated events. This nursing home fea...
Source: Minding Our Elders - June 29, 2022 Category: Geriatrics Authors: Carol Bradley Bursack Source Type: blogs
Immigrants Reduce Unionization in the United States
Alex NowrastehIdentifying and analyzingarguments against increased legal immigration has been one of the core components of my job over the last decade. Most of those arguments areflimsy. The effect of immigrants on wages issmall and to the benefit of complementary native ‐born American workers. Immigrants are lesscriminallyinclined than native ‐born Americans. Immigrants and their descendantsassimilate quickly into American culture. The threat ofterrorist attacks carried about by foreigners on U.S. soil is real but also small and manageable. But one argument stands out to the point where I ’veco ‐authored...
Source: Cato-at-liberty - June 28, 2022 Category: American Health Authors: Alex Nowrasteh Source Type: blogs
Humor Shared Among Caregivers Is Therapeutic
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I once visited a caregiver friend and her mother, who had moderate Alzheimer’s disease. At one point during the visit, the mother abruptly stood up, held out her hand, and said to me, “You can go now.” I’d been warned that this might happen, and I’d had years of experience with dementia patients, so I wasn’t the least bit offended. Alzheimer's disease has devastating effects on one’s memory, but it also affects judgment and social filters. My friend and I both managed not to laugh at my brusque dismissal; I simply thanked them for the lovely visit and said that it was indeed time f...
Source: Minding Our Elders - June 28, 2022 Category: Geriatrics Authors: Carol Bradley Bursack Source Type: blogs
