Caregivers Shouldn't Ever Feel Guilty About Calling Hospice
Photo credit Abigail Keenan
A billboard in my city carries a simple message: "Most families say, 'Why did we wait so long to call hospice?' "
When I talk with our local hospice folks, they say that is the message they hear most often. Yet, I understand why people do wait. Calling in hospice for the care of an elderly parent or other a loved one means you need to come to terms, on all levels, with the idea that this person is dying. The person who is dying needs to come to terms with this issue as well, however, from my experience, it's the family who is most reluctant to accept a diagnosis that the disease is termina...
Source: Minding Our Elders - June 27, 2022 Category: Geriatrics Authors: Carol Bradley Bursack Source Type: blogs
Caregiver Looking for a Support Group with a Balanced Perspective
Dear Carol: My wonderful dad has Alzheimer’s. I struggle daily with my grief over all that’s been lost but I’m also grateful for what he can still do. As you often advise, I’ve joined some online support groups to see if they can help me feel less alone with my confusing emotions. The problem is that these groups seem to be populated by caregivers at the extremes. They either feel completely beaten or they gloss over the daily challenges of dementia care. Is there a group where I can honestly express how hard it is to see my dad lose so much without getting mired in the negative? – LC
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Source: Minding Our Elders - June 26, 2022 Category: Geriatrics Authors: Carol Bradley Bursack Source Type: blogs
The Benefits of In-Home Dementia Care
Photo credit Georg Arthur Pflueger
In the early stages of Alzheimer’s disease (AD) or other forms of dementia, seniors frequently choose to remain in the comfort of a familiar home. As limitations increase, frustrations often follow, and overwhelmed family caregivers turn to supportive services to help with the challenges that arise. I certainly took advantage of these services throughout my time caring for multiple seniors, including my parents and an elderly neighbor. The biggest challenge I faced, though, was when I hired professional caregivers for loved ones who had dementia. Back then, home health aides (HHAs) were...
Source: Minding Our Elders - June 25, 2022 Category: Geriatrics Authors: Carol Bradley Bursack Source Type: blogs
Making an Assisted Living Room Feel Like Home
Photo credit Fuad Obasesan
While change is difficult for people of all ages, deviating from the status quo seems to become even more taxing as we get older and more set in our ways. Yet it’s often our elders who are forced to make the most dramatic lifestyle changes. One example is downsizing to assisted living from a family home or condominium. Not only do our loved ones have to leave the familiar environments they are used to, but they must also accept the fact that advancing age and/or increasing health needs necessitate this move.
Tips for Making an Assisted Living Apartment Feel Like Home: Moving to an ...
Source: Minding Our Elders - June 24, 2022 Category: Geriatrics Authors: Carol Bradley Bursack Source Type: blogs
The Hidden Costs of Assisted Living
Photo credit Koolshooters
Assisted living costs vary by location, but it’s also important to know how senior communities structure their fees. Many caregivers are surprised to find that services like help with bathing and dressing aren’t included in the monthly rates. During my caregiving years, I was stretched thin between caring for multiple elders, raising my children, and working. I resorted to using the services of two different home care agencies to fill the gaps in my care plans when I couldn’t be there for my loved ones. In my situation, the biggest advantage of using in-home care providers was adding o...
Source: Minding Our Elders - June 23, 2022 Category: Geriatrics Authors: Carol Bradley Bursack Source Type: blogs
5 Ways to Get an Older Adult to Smile
Photo credit Pexels - Beytlik
Despite increasing awareness of and sensitivity to ageism in our society, age-related stereotypes about stubborn, grumpy seniors persist. Chronic health conditions, changes in functioning, and the loss of loved ones pose physical and emotional challenges that can bring even the most cheerful elders down from time to time, but depression and irritability are not normal parts of aging. In fact, research shows that perceptions of life and overall happiness actually tend to improve with age.
The rollercoaster of life is full of ups and downs at all ages. During these fleeting low points, it is nat...
Source: Minding Our Elders - June 22, 2022 Category: Geriatrics Authors: Carol Bradley Bursack Source Type: blogs
How to Discuss End-of-Life Issues with Older Parents
Photo credit Nathan Anderson
In my experience, I’ve found that it isn’t always seniors who avoid talking about death. Some do, of course, but many of our aging loved ones would like to discuss the legal and financial arrangements they’ve made, as well as their preferences for end-of-life care and who they would like to handle their medical decisions if they were to become incapacitated. On the other hand, adult children often find excuses to delay frank discussions about serious illness and death. Few of us like to consider the fact that our parents will die, but nothing will change this truth. In actuality, avoiding...
Source: Minding Our Elders - June 21, 2022 Category: Geriatrics Authors: Carol Bradley Bursack Source Type: blogs
Caregiving Is Not a Competitive Sport: The Case for Supporting Caregivers' Unique Decisions
Caregiving. While often rewarding and frequently exhausting, it’s one of many life events that can only be understood if you’ve been intimately involved. This truth is what drives most caregivers to seek support from their peers as well as professionals who can share valuable information. So, what could go wrong in such a well-meaning group?
Normally, all is well in caregiver support groups. People help and comfort one another, offer advice based on what’s worked for them in a similar situation, or just simply offer a much-appreciated hug — virtual or otherwise. This much-needed, well-meaning support can go ...
Source: Minding Our Elders - June 20, 2022 Category: Geriatrics Authors: Carol Bradley Bursack Source Type: blogs
Father ’s Day as a Caregiver: Remembering Dad Before Dementia
This Father’s Day, I’ll have fond memories of my dad, as will many caregivers and adult children. The juxtaposition of the past and present can make these memories bittersweet. But it is important to remember that, regardless of what has happened to our parents as they age, they remain our parents. Cognitive and physical decline do not take away their legacies as adults. We may have to provide care that many would consider demeaning, but, when this care is given out of love, it is never undignified. Part of caregiving with love is keeping in mind that this person is our parent, the person who raised us. Respect a...
Source: Minding Our Elders - June 18, 2022 Category: Geriatrics Authors: Carol Bradley Bursack Source Type: blogs
Making an Assisted Living Room Feel Like Home
While change is difficult for people of all ages, deviating from the status quo seems to become even more taxing as we get older and more set in our ways. Yet it’s often our elders who are forced to make the most dramatic lifestyle changes. One example is downsizing to assisted living from a family home or condominium. Not only do our loved ones have to leave the familiar environments they are used to, but they must also accept the fact that advancing age and/or increasing health needs necessitate this move.
Tips for Making an Assisted Living Apartment Feel Like Home" Moving to an assisted living facility (A...
Source: Minding Our Elders - June 17, 2022 Category: Geriatrics Authors: Carol Bradley Bursack Source Type: blogs
Give Your Dad the Best Father ’s Day Gift Ever: Your Attention
Our aging loved ones often repeat the same stories over and over again. As our patience wanes, we blame the repetition on memory issues, but here’s something to think about: there may be another reason for their repetitive stories. As years go by, most of us gain–or attempt to gain–perspective. By retelling personal stories, elders are often, consciously or subconsciously, trying to reframe their life from the perspective of time. If we give them the gift of attentive listening, we may find their stories more interesting and even learn something new about them. Since an elder’s history is part of our own, we ...
Source: Minding Our Elders - June 16, 2022 Category: Geriatrics Authors: Carol Bradley Bursack Source Type: blogs
Embracing Positive Caregiving Moments Makes Bad Times Tolerable
My nature is generally upbeat. I try to be grateful for my many blessings and not dwell on the negative. However, as a family caregiver, I’m intimately acquainted with difficult days and responsibilities that seem endless. Always aware that I love the people I’ve cared for, there’s still considerable stress and fatigue involved, to say nothing of an occasional pang of “what about me?” I’m assuming most of you can relate.
I’m also assuming that most of you if you think about it, have had some lighter moments while caregiving or even some uplifting, life-enhancing moments never to be forgotten. I know I...
Source: Minding Our Elders - June 15, 2022 Category: Geriatrics Authors: Carol Bradley Bursack Source Type: blogs
Elder Care Needs Can Change in an Instant
Photo credit Seth Hays
During the years I cared for multiple elders, I grew to dread the ringing of the telephone. It seemed most calls meant emergencies. One example? My neighbor, Joe, for whom I was the primary caregiver, wore a personal alarm so that he could push a button to notify a dispatch center if he had an emergency. The dispatch center would call him back. If he didn't answer his phone, they'd call me. The moment is frozen in time for me when, just hours after I left his house, my phone rang. It was the dispatch center telling me that Joe had punched the help button and wasn't answering his phone. I ...
Source: Minding Our Elders - June 14, 2022 Category: Geriatrics Authors: Carol Bradley Bursack Source Type: blogs
Living with Elderly Parents Works for Some, Not Others
Photo credit Simon Godfrey
According to the Caregiving in the U.S. 2020 research report published by the National Alliance for Caregiving and AARP, 40 percent of family caregivers report that their care recipients live with them. Another common option is for caregivers to move in with their aging parents. Regardless of who moves in with whom, the decision to live with aging parents is a serious one that affects all relationships within a family, careers, finances, and the physical and mental health of everyone involved. For some, the arrangement works out fine. Two or even three generations residing in the same...
Source: Minding Our Elders - June 13, 2022 Category: Geriatrics Authors: Carol Bradley Bursack Source Type: blogs
Solo Ager Speaks Up About the Need for Guidance in End-of-Life Planning
Dear Carol: I love your website and columns; however, I want to make a plea for information about how older adults who have no children can plan for their future. My husband and I are in our mid-60s, and he has early-onset Alzheimer’s so he’s in memory care. We have no children and no close family. How do I find someone I can trust to handle my legal decisions as my health declines with age? I don’t even know where to start. Thank you! – WR
Continue reading on Inforum for information and tips about how Solo Agers can set up their legal work as they age:
Minding Our Elders: Caregivers Share Their Perso...
Source: Minding Our Elders - June 12, 2022 Category: Geriatrics Authors: Carol Bradley Bursack Source Type: blogs
