Peeling Off the Pericardium

On June 12, 2014, my life changed immeasurably with an unexpected cardiac event. It had been brewing for a while and reached a boiling point with a fully occluded artery sending me careening into a new way of living and loving. A few hours after the initial symptoms, I had a new body part (a stent) keeping it open and the blood flowing. How many beats per minute? How much love can the heart hold? How do we keep the blood pumping that sustains our lives? How do we become works of he(art)? Each of these is a practical and philosophical question I ponder. According to Go Red For Women: Heart disease is the No. 1 killer of women and is more deadly than all forms of cancer combined. Heart disease causes 1 in 3 women’s deaths each year, killing approximately one woman every minute. An estimated 43 million women in the U.S. are affected by heart disease. 90 percent of women have one or more risk factors for developing heart disease. Since that morning, nearly three years ago, I have dived deep, stretched wide and soared high and in uncustomary non-action sat in silence with my feelings until they became vocal in the form of sobbing and storming. The one who kept emotions at bay in the service of keeping on keeping on had died that day to give birth to the one who is typing these words. I say that she had to die since she was killing me. Killing me with overwork and under-rest. Killing me with co-dependent savior behavior. Killing me with unreasonable standards for performance...
Source: World of Psychology - Category: Psychiatry & Psychology Authors: Tags: Aging Grief and Loss Health-related Inspiration & Hope Personal Cardiac Arrest cardiac event Coping Fitness Heart Attack Heart Disease Source Type: blogs