5 Self-Care Tips During Recovery from a Suicide Attempt

When the police and paramedics opened the door, they pushed through the lounger, the kitchen and coffee tables, and found my body there, in the hotel room. I was lying on my back, covered in vomit. There was vomit on the bed, on the floor, and it had projected up the wall behind me and covered a massive picture that hung behind the bed. Those who found me thought it was a murder scene. Apparently the pink Benadryl pills, along with the tens of thousands of other milligrams of prescriptions and over-the-counter medications I took, made it look like blood. They thought I was dead and I should have been. I wanted to be. I had been unconscious nearly twelve hours. The one flash I have of coming to was being transferred by the medical personnel from the gurney to the hospital bed. Everything was colored white except the navy of the nurses scrubs. I’m assuming it was in the ER. I remember them cutting my clothes off and it was all like a nightmare. I couldn’t respond but I remember them counting “1…2…3…” before lifting me up and over. And what emotion do I remember from that? Shame. Ashamed of being naked. I had never been more vulnerable. I couldn’t process all of this in that brief moment, but here I was, a failed minister, an embarrassment to anyone who ever cared about me, and I couldn’t even get a suicide right. The same thing happened when the male nurse came in the next day and I woke up in one of those momentary fogs. I wasnR...
Source: World of Psychology - Category: Psychiatry & Psychology Authors: Tags: Depression Inspiration & Hope Personal Self-Help Boundaries Self Care Shame Suicidal Thoughts Suicide Attempt Source Type: blogs