Answering the Call

The call came, as always, when I least expected it. Of course it does, because if I had been expecting it I would have called him first. But there I was, blithely going about my business, doing my work, as if I were like anyone else. But, you see, I’m not. I am an autism mom and that means I need to be life-or-death alert like a rabbit, on call like an ER surgeon.  My beautiful bright son Nat is now 32 and so capable, so competent, mature, and dependable. But he is strung so delicately, like a fine old Stradivarius, and his music is just as beautiful, but it doesn’t take much to knock him out of tune. I love him so deeply and fear for him even more, so that I cannot completely separate my own psyche from his. So many of you out there will think you know better. “Let him go, for f.’s sake,” you might be thinking. “He’s an adult, he’s fine, he’s come so far,” others might say. “Get a life,” or “I don’t know how you do it,” are the other popular refrains. It’s all the same to me. It just means that you are tired of it, you are frustrated by it. But you are not me. You don’t know what it’s like to love Nat, and to fear for Nat. You don’t know what it’s like to get the call: “Out of the blue, Nat started screaming and slapping his head.” You don’t know what it’s like to have your heart stop and to feel utterly powerless and sad. So sad. There is nothing worse than your child to be in pain. Nothing. Even if he’s all grown, a...
Source: Susan's Blog - Category: Child Development Authors: Tags: Uncategorized Source Type: blogs