How to Overcome the Fear of Marriage

If you long for a soul mate, you’re not alone. It’s human nature to want a partner for life.  The longing is there. Yet so many unions don’t last these days. We may hope to say “I do” but fear being disappointed.    Actually, I was like this. I avoided commitment for such a long time that a friend at my wedding, 31 years ago, quipped, “It’s the end of an era.”  When I told my mother I was engaged, she said, “It’s a miracle.” She expected me to stay single. She didn’t want my heart to be broken like hers had been when she and my father divorced.   When she knew I was seeing someone, she’d ask, “Is he still nice?” meaning he’d sooner or later disappoint me. So I stopped telling her about men in my life. As far as she knew, I hadn’t had a date in ten years. “Get a dog,” she said. “Anything to cuddle with.” No wonder my news surprised her.  If I can do it, so can you! Below are four bits of advice for overcoming fears and creating a fulfilling, lasting marriage:  Develop realistic expectations. Gain knowledge. Know your reason for marrying.  Gain confidence that you can succeed.  Developing Realistic Expectations When single, my friends and I talked about what was wrong with men, blithely unaware of our own imperfections. In real-life good marriages, not the fairytale kind, annoyances are normal. Spouses who are compatible and realistic treasure each other regardless.  The idea is not to simply marry someone who loves, love...
Source: World of Psychology - Category: Psychiatry & Psychology Authors: Tags: Marriage and Divorce Relationships Commitment Issues Dating Love Vows Source Type: blogs