Forgiveness as a Self-Healing Tool

Surely, some things can never be forgiven, should never be forgiven? Susie was 48 years old, and came for counseling for burnout in her highly responsible job. It took three sessions before she trusted me enough to tell me her story. Thirty years before, a man had brutally raped her. She’d spent three weeks in hospital, and has physical handicaps from it to this day. The court hearing was even more traumatizing. He showed no remorse. His story was that she’d initiated contact, invited sex, then backed out at the last minute, hitting him and scratching his face, so he defended himself, and “um… went a little too far.” He was let off with a slap on the wrist. Merely thinking of sex with a man made her feel nauseous. She was seriously overweight, which had affected her heart, and led to type 2 diabetes. Every time she reduced weight, some fellow started stalking her. I gently got her to tell me what “stalking” involved. It was things like asking her out to have a cup of coffee or a meal with him. Here is a life wrecked in several ways due to horrid action from someone. How could she possibly forgive him? We used one of the standard techniques for processing trauma: exposure therapy via age-regression hypnosis. After this, she could recall the event, feel herself listening to his lies in court, and could stay calm. Again under hypnosis, I asked her to imagine kissing a man. She managed it without revulsion, but afterward, she told me she was still uninterested ...
Source: World of Psychology - Category: Psychiatry & Psychology Authors: Tags: Inspiration & Hope Mindfulness Personal Psychotherapy Trauma Violence and Aggression Women's Issues Betrayal Forgiveness self-compassion Source Type: blogs