Chronic

"Just think of it as a chronic disease - like lupus - which flares up, ebbs and flows." The young psychiatrist looks at me warmly, with that practiced "warmness" we all rehearsed to cover up shock, disgust, terror that became part of our everyday lives. I survey the new doctor, wondering if he felt disgust when he looked at me just now. Slowly, my thoughts snake there way back his comment is, the one that compares my depression with lupus.  Who willingly submits to the idea that there is something debilitating and wrong with them for which there is no cure?On the other hand, I smiled at a baby today. Really smiled.Now to submit to the pills and their ills and pray that they are my lifelink to the glowing end of the tunnel.Take a long hard look at my faceTake away the things I can't replaceTake my heart, go on take it awayI've got nothing to sayTake away this sense of regretTake the things I need to forgetTake the mistakes I haven't made yetThey're all I have leftI don't want to be the one who lets you downAll I did was run myself aroundI wish I could have seen through your eyesMaybe then I would have realizedI'm the only one who's bleedingFor the things I never needed~"Things I Never Needed", Grace Potter~
Source: Turquoise Gates - Category: Cancer Tags: depression prayin illness PTSD disappointment chronic illness Source Type: blogs