When Joy Feels Scary: 6 Resilience-Building Practices

After we’ve been given a “clean bill of health,” finished settling the estate, come home from war, or otherwise gathered up the pieces — it takes time for the dust to settle, time to trust the stillness. In these in-between spaces, when the word “survivor” feels both amazing and scary, foreboding joy (Brown, 2012) can eat our lunch. In her book, Daring Greatly, Dr. Brene Brown (2012) describes some of the ways that we try to shield ourselves from vulnerability. Along with strategies like perfectionism and numbing, foreboding joy is a common way that we try to fend off our human-ness, our susceptibility. Foreboding joy can happen when we feel intense positive emotion. It says, “Don’t go there; at any moment the other shoe may drop; this could all be gone in an instant.” Afraid to risk the vulnerability of feeling joy, we instead try to “pre-grieve” or as Brown would say “dress rehearse tragedy” with the hopes that this will soften the blow should the worst happen. *** I’m so grateful to be coming out on the other side of cancer. My doctor said, “We got it all; you’ll have one final reconstruction surgery this fall; keep taking your medication for the next 5-10 years, and you’ll be good to go.” Yes, good to go. I smile and nod at the doctor, but before I’ve finished nodding, my thoughts and emotions have travelled far and wide: Beginning with intense positivity… “YES!!! HOORAY!!!! Oh good gracious, thank the Lord!! What a hug...
Source: World of Psychology - Category: Psychiatry & Psychology Authors: Tags: Books Grief and Loss Mindfulness Motivation and Inspiration Perfectionism Personal Self-Help joy Resilience self-compassion Source Type: blogs