You Can Help People Without Trying to ‘ Fix ’ Them

You can be helpful, without being a “fixer.” If I had a title, it would be “The Fixer.” It’s why I write and coach, and it’s probably what most people would say if you asked them to describe me. Even my communication business had the motto, “Creative solutions to the world’s communication challenges.” I prided myself in helping people solve their problems. Most of the time I could help. I even helped people solve their problems while I was in deep grief or anxiety myself. Even coaches have their moments of deep emotion. I’m human just like you, in addition to being a coach, mom, entrepreneur, and award-winning novelist. Yet when I reached a certain age and career level, I started juggling too many plates in the air. I had to begin to pay more attention to myself than to others for a little while — or my physical body would fail. I had to create boundaries. I had to say no. I had to stop answering every cry for help. Recently, I had a setback, and I went about researching my fixing addiction. Here’s what I learned about my desire to fix everything for everyone: 1. Lots of People Are in This Same Situation. Fixing things for others is deep-rooted in society. You’re not alone! We call it service, or do unto others, or even love. It’s not a bad thing to help, serve or love. Most of the time, we help because we want to be liked and appreciated. We want to feel good about ourselves, and service has...
Source: World of Psychology - Category: Psychiatry & Psychology Authors: Tags: Publishers Self-Esteem Self-Help YourTango abusive Boundaries Codependent Depressed fix people happy healing help people Low Self Esteem Narcissistic Source Type: blogs