What happened when I stopped saying “Be careful”

December vacation was over. The weather had finally calmed down, and kindergarten was back on, so Milo and I were walking. He was ahead of me, as usual. His eyes were on a snow mountain that would soon be climbed, and not on a patch of ice. I decided to help out, and I did. I told him, “Be careful.” One more time. “Be careful” is what I said. I’m gonna brag: it’s Belichick-level genius. And it wasn’t my first time. I’ve broken out those three syllables with digging holes, riding a bike, sitting at the table, getting out of the tub, and probably eating a bagel, and I’m gonna brag again: I don’t think it’s ever led to any carefulness. Helping your child negotiate risk It shouldn’t be a surprise. Dr. Joshua Sparrow, child psychiatrist and director of the Brazelton Touchpoints Center based at Harvard-affiliated Boston Children’s Hospital, says kids learn words through context. If they’re used in too many contexts, there’s no meaning. It doesn’t help that “Be careful” offers nothing to actually do. So, I decided that for one week, I wouldn’t say those two words to my kids, Milo, 6, and Levi, 3. Instead, I’d strive for specific, possibly even helpful advice. Sparrow offered a couple of other helpful thoughts to consider before I opened my mouth. Assess situations and ask, What’s the worst that could happen? A skinned knee doesn’t merit much warning. There’s nothing wrong with eliminating unnecessary risks. e.g., standing on top of the ...
Source: Harvard Health Blog - Category: Consumer Health News Authors: Tags: Children's Health Parenting Source Type: blogs