Tube Love
Drawing of a gastrojejunostomy feeding tube, GJ tube for short.
Tube Love
Its name in medical-ese is a gastrojejunostomy tube
Or a GJ tube for short
I just call it The Tube
Through nothing more than some tubes
And a syringe
And a feeding pump
I give myself water
I give myself food
I give myself meds
I give myself life
Bypassing my paralyzed stomach
I drain out the life-destroying bile
That would otherwise suffocate me
In pneumonia after pneumonia
Until I eventually got unlucky and died
There are no words for the feeling
Of giving myself a big syringe of cold water
On a hot day
And feeling every inch of it go
Cold
Into my intestines
No stomach to hold it back
No stomach to vomit it up
Maybe the word is love?
My tube is not an inhuman machine
It is a part of me
If love means that you take care of someone
If love means that you save someone’s life
Without thought for your own
If love means that day by day, you do the hard work
Without complaining or tiring
Even when you get clogged up and miserable
Then surely my tube loves me
And I love my tube
It has a personality
It’s grumpy on some days
And happy on others
I try to make it happy
I know more about making a feeding tube happy
Than any of those doctors and nurses
From Gastroenterology
From Interventional Radiology
From Pulmonology
They said I had the mind of a child
That I would pull my tube out trying to play with it
The way young babies do with their feeding tubes
They said I didn’t have the cognitive capacity
To take c...
Source: Ballastexistenz - Category: Autism Authors: Mel Baggs Tags: Cognitive disability Death Developmental disability Disability Pride Ethics Food Functioning labels Happiness LFA Stereotypes Life Skills Love Medical Medical stuff Mental Age Personal history Physical disability Poems Po Source Type: blogs
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