Tube Love

Drawing of a gastrojejunostomy feeding tube, GJ tube for short. Tube Love Its name in medical-ese is a gastrojejunostomy tube Or a GJ tube for short I just call it The Tube Through nothing more than some tubes And a syringe And a feeding pump I give myself water I give myself food I give myself meds I give myself life Bypassing my paralyzed stomach I drain out the life-destroying bile That would otherwise suffocate me In pneumonia after pneumonia Until I eventually got unlucky and died There are no words for the feeling Of giving myself a big syringe of cold water On a hot day And feeling every inch of it go Cold Into my intestines No stomach to hold it back No stomach to vomit it up Maybe the word is love? My tube is not an inhuman machine It is a part of me If love means that you take care of someone If love means that you save someone’s life Without thought for your own If love means that day by day, you do the hard work Without complaining or tiring Even when you get clogged up and miserable Then surely my tube loves me And I love my tube It has a personality It’s grumpy on some days And happy on others I try to make it happy I know more about making a feeding tube happy Than any of those doctors and nurses From Gastroenterology From Interventional Radiology From Pulmonology They said I had the mind of a child That I would pull my tube out trying to play with it The way young babies do with their feeding tubes They said I didn’t have the cognitive capacity To take c...
Source: Ballastexistenz - Category: Autism Authors: Tags: Cognitive disability Death Developmental disability Disability Pride Ethics Food Functioning labels Happiness LFA Stereotypes Life Skills Love Medical Medical stuff Mental Age Personal history Physical disability Poems Po Source Type: blogs