Not All Caregivers' Stories Are The Same, But Their Pain Is

I had a great conversation the other day with a woman who takes care of her 90-year-old mother. Her mom continues to live independently, which is a nice way of saying that her daughter would prefer having her fingernails ripped out than having mom come stay with her. The daughter pays through the nose to have in-home caregivers pretty much around the clock. Before you rush to judge and marvel at what money can buy, just know that this adult daughter feels the burden of caregiving as acutely as the rest of us. She feels the same sense of loss, the same guilt, the same obligation, the same sometimes-resentment. She too makes every decision in her mother’s life, deals with doctors, insurance, makes sure prescriptions are filled on time. She is the problem-solver who runs her mother’s life and makes sure everything goes smoothly. The big difference is that she gets to sleep in her own bed at night and can leave the diaper changes and food preparation to someone else. I know another woman whose dad is in an assisted living home. He has Alzheimer’s and it pains her to visit him and not have him recognize her, his only daughter. Sometimes he thinks she is his long-dead wife and calls her by that name. His family home has been sold and most of his possessions sold or given away. He will never again live without supervision. His caregiving daughter sees her role as keeping the nursing home on its toes and she says it leaves her exhausted. “Who knows what they d...
Source: Healthy Living - The Huffington Post - Category: Consumer Health News Source Type: news