Unspoken: Cancer's Dehumanizing Late Effect
As published on The Huffington Post
I watched a 33-year-old man sobbing. He stared at me, tears pooling in his eyes until they streamed down his cheeks and he looked away. He buried his face in his hands, his charcoal suit jacket and wedding ring restricting the body convulsions and flow of the tears. I stood frozen watching him, unable to look away or console or forget what he had just told me.
G. asked me to join him for a beer following his professional organization meeting where I had been the guest speaker that evening. I share my story of surviving two childhood cancers anytime audiences will have me. I hope everyo...
Source: I've Still Got Both My Nuts: A True Cancer Blog - August 6, 2013 Category: Cancer Tags: bodily function fear and rage Source Type: blogs
Restricted
I watched my family eat delicious food on our first night at the beach two weeks ago, also my first day off-diet. Fried everything, cornbread, hush puppies: the foods we permanent restrictors see in visions of heaven, awaiting our arrival on La-Z-Boy couches with live goat-pillows while Dumb and Dumber plays on repeat. I grew an immediate ache in my gut as I wondered if my lifelong decision to restrict was wastefully, abnormally, sufferingly incorrect.
Adult males and females are not meant to maintain mid-single- and mid-teen-digit body fat percentages, respectively. I have accomplished the feat several times, only to see...
Source: I've Still Got Both My Nuts: A True Cancer Blog - July 25, 2013 Category: Cancer Tags: super model Source Type: blogs
Problems of the World’s Greatest Freerider
“It has an elevator,” Aunt FloJo had said in April, referring to her friend’s condo in Dupont Circle, my next housesitting residence.
“That’s good,” I said.
“No, I mean it has its own, dedicated elevator. You’re going to be very comfortable this summer.”
My Mansion Hopping continues—last week I moved into one of the most expensive condominium communities in Washington, D.C. Many people don’t understand the concept of housesitting, and if I haven’t lived it then I would be confused, too. “Who goes away for months at a time and lets you live in their home for free? How do you get these opportuni...
Source: I've Still Got Both My Nuts: A True Cancer Blog - July 11, 2013 Category: Cancer Tags: living habits Source Type: blogs
Who Would Win in a Fight Against Josh Sundquist and Me?
Author's note: The character described in this multi-part story is my creation and should not be interpreted as the actual public figure. Although most of the events are fictional, the helpful and motivating aspects of his character are real, and for that I am grateful to have received his guidance.
Read this first: Who Would Win in a Fight between Josh Sundquist and Me?
I followed Josh Sundquist to a bar near his residence in Clarendon. Though unsure if my south Arlington status would be accepted there, I desired his wisdom on life and love. I was diagnosed with Ewing’s during the age of invincibility, leadi...
Source: I've Still Got Both My Nuts: A True Cancer Blog - July 6, 2013 Category: Cancer Tags: living habits imaginative Source Type: blogs
Resources
After moving out of Arlington and before house sitting my aunt and uncle’s home in upper northwest D.C., I stayed at my parents’ house in Manassas. One-way commute times like 2:25 made me question whether it was worth three months of free rent. I had to decline social invitations because of exhaustion and transportation availability, thus breaking my “Accept All Social Invitations Because You Never Know What You'll Miss” life rule. On gym days, I arrived at the house 13.5 hours after leaving for work, only to wake up 10 hours later.
When I finally moved to D.C. I realized I was far from most of my friends. “Oy, ...
Source: I've Still Got Both My Nuts: A True Cancer Blog - July 6, 2013 Category: Cancer Tags: living habits Source Type: blogs
My Dad on Exercise
Bullseye has walked four to six miles for exercise almost every day, for 25 years. When home, he’ll walk the same route around the neighborhood or on the treadmill if the weather is poor. He’ll also walk the same route when he’s on vacation at the beach (at the same hotel every year). At the last job he held for over 30 years, he walked the same blocks, or the same hallways if the weather was poor.
Despite spending more time in Washington, D.C., than almost any other location throughout his life, he couldn’t tell me about his surroundings, where landmarks are, or how to get anywhere. “What do I care where you y...
Source: I've Still Got Both My Nuts: A True Cancer Blog - July 6, 2013 Category: Cancer Tags: family Source Type: blogs
I Am Who I Should Have Thought I Would Be
In high school I brought Trident to chew after lunch—it was that fourth dentist that sold me over the then-competitor Carefree. My friends leveraged this knowledge and preyed on my gum. I responded by bringing only one piece every day, leading to their disappointment and stereotype jokes. My decision had nothing to do with money since my dad bought (and continues to buy) me an unending supply. It was a matter of efficiency. I should have known then the type of grown-up I would become…
I bought a 12-quart pot so I can boil 40 pieces of chicken at once. Boiled chicken is dry and tasteless, but it is worth the time saved...
Source: I've Still Got Both My Nuts: A True Cancer Blog - July 6, 2013 Category: Cancer Tags: living habits economics Source Type: blogs
My Sonic Hedgehog
My dad loves a good deal. When he saw that an Alexandria Chevrolet dealership was offering $4,000 for any trade-in—four times the value of my 1999 Chevrolet Cavalier—he lit up and emailed me the offer. “Cash for clunkers is back!” I said.
I gave my dad the green light to work his negotiating magic on my behalf for a new 2013 Sonic LTZ turbo. Apparently he is a wizard:
Trade-in: $4,000
Random rebates: $1,000
Taxes, tags, fees and destination charge: $0
My parents letting me use their GM MasterCard rewards: $2,500
Estimated drive-away price without discounts: $22,500; my drive-away price: $15,000.
I thought back...
Source: I've Still Got Both My Nuts: A True Cancer Blog - July 6, 2013 Category: Cancer Authors: noreply at blogger.com (Benjamin Rubenstein) Tags: living habits economics family Source Type: blogs
Brooklyn’s Finest (Part I of II)
Feeling giddy, I called my new friend, Gümmë, from the train two weeks ago. She was rushing to a meeting while I was approaching New York Penn Station. “My friend owns a rock-climbing gym in Brooklyn, so some friends and I are going this weekend,” I said.
“That sounds fun.”
I didn’t share that we would also be celebrating the 10-year anniversary of my bone marrow transplant. I dislike self-promotion, though sometimes family and friends partake without me having to try hard. My parents sent me on the comfortable Amtrak instead of me paying for the bus, which is what Dirty-D, my first-year roommate at UVA,...
Source: I've Still Got Both My Nuts: A True Cancer Blog - July 6, 2013 Category: Cancer Tags: travels Source Type: blogs
Brooklyn's Finest (Part II of II)
Read this first: Brooklyn's Finest (Part I of II)
The next day we visited Brooklyn Boulders, a rock-climbing gym that my grade school friend, Lance Pinn, founded and owns. In high school Lance was suave with girls, passed advanced classes without trying and seemed born able to read people and business opportunities like I was born able to tolerate Adriamycin. After college and seeing an enormous market for climbing gyms, he and two partners collected the capital for Brooklyn Boulders.
I had emailed Lance two months ago about my 10-year cancer-free anniversary and how I wanted to celebrate at his gym. He immediately made...
Source: I've Still Got Both My Nuts: A True Cancer Blog - July 6, 2013 Category: Cancer Authors: noreply at blogger.com (Benjamin Rubenstein) Tags: travels Source Type: blogs
My First Descents Challenge
Everyone comes down from cloud nine. Last year I went on a group rock-climbing trip through the nonprofit organization First Descents to Moab, Utah, and it was among my most fun weeks. First Descents’ mission is to “offer young adult cancer fighters and survivors a free outdoor adventure experience designed to empower…reclaim their lives and connect with others doing the same.”
On the trip I gained a new favorite hobby, self-discovery and stalwart friends. Afterward, someone posted on our group webpage daily and we were already planning for this year’s trip—called “FD2” for those who attended “FD1” the...
Source: I've Still Got Both My Nuts: A True Cancer Blog - July 6, 2013 Category: Cancer Tags: travels Source Type: blogs
