'I Like the Shawties': Cruising the Caribbean
Listerine ‒ the oral cancer-causing mouthwash ‒ meant something else two weeks ago when I cruised to celebrate my friend Infinicuralier’s wedding, which took place mid-cruise in Grand Cayman. Cruises are expensive to begin with. And they are extravagant if you don’t smuggle “Listerine” on board.Infinicuralier and me carefully pouring lowest-shelf Colonel's Pride whiskey ($10 for a liter) into an empty Listerine bottle, which I placed in my checked bag and smuggled onto the cruise shipMy stateroom mate, Crabcakes, and I sat on our balcony many evenings searching for sharks with cool glasses of Colonel’s ...
Source: cancerslayerblog - November 27, 2015 Category: Cancer & Oncology Tags: my videos partying travels Source Type: blogs
If You Had One Week to Get Your Dream Girl
You are a “nice guy” and never get girls. What do they want and what are they looking for in a guy? The New England Patriots are more likely to lose to Boston College’s football team than you deciphering the key to a woman’s heart.Now you meet an intelligent, bubbly, funny and beautiful girl in class. You talk and joke a little. Class ends and you vow to woo her at next week’s class. These are the steps you must take over the next seven days to win her over.Day 1You’re too old to grow and one week isn’t long enough to increase your body mass or attain a v-shaped torso – the three physical features that have...
Source: cancerslayerblog - November 18, 2015 Category: Cancer & Oncology Tags: life lessons women Source Type: blogs
A Weekend at Colorado Breweries and Mountains
"Let's take a weekend trip to Colorado," my friend Greek said to me on October 3. "There are some breweries I want to see.""Colorado is my second favorite state. I'm in," I said.We targeted a weekend in December.Days later Greek texted me, "It's cold in December. How about we go in two weeks.""Sure, why not."Kayak for flight + Priceline for rental car = booked.We stayed in between Boulder and Denver. We planned specific breweries to visit each of our three days in Colorado and otherwise went wherever our rental minivan took us. Town & Country led us high in elevation in hippie-town Nederland and to McDonald's for ...
Source: cancerslayerblog - November 7, 2015 Category: Cancer & Oncology Tags: my videos travels Source Type: blogs
From Awareness to Acceptance in Two Months: MFA Bound
I apologize to you, my awesome readers, for writing infrequently the past two months. This is why I have slacked, with some added fiction because, well, it fits.July 23: I tell JD I’m considering becoming a part-time barista so I have more time to write.Over the last decade I authored two books. I have spent my time writing, marketing, taking marketing classes, speaking, receiving training in public speaking, starting a company, and creating a super-sweet spreadsheet to track my inventory and expenses. In exchange I have sacrificed or neglected undergraduate grades, video games, television and pop culture, dating, probab...
Source: cancerslayerblog - October 11, 2015 Category: Cancer & Oncology Tags: MFA Source Type: blogs
I ’ve Been Arrogant for 15 Years and Now I Atone
< b > As published on Gather the Jews < /b > < br / > < br / > It is Yom Kippur, the Day of Atonement. In synagogue I recited one of the most important prayers Jews read each year called < i > viddui < /i > , or < i > the confession < /i > . Al chet she-cha-tanu l ’fanecha. For the sin we have committed against you. < br / > < br / > There are many sins. One stood out to me. < br / > < br / > “. . .The sin we have committed against You by our < b > arrogance < /b > . . . < br / > < br / > For all these sins, O God of mercy, forgive us, pardon us, grant us atonement! ” < br / > < br / > < div style="text-align: center...
Source: cancerslayerblog - September 25, 2015 Category: Cancer & Oncology Tags: life lessons Source Type: blogs
I’ve Been Arrogant for 15 Years and Now I Atone
As published on Gather the JewsIt is Yom Kippur, the Day of Atonement. In synagogue I recited one of the most important prayers Jews read each year called viddui, or the confession. Al chet she-cha-tanu l’fanecha. For the sin we have committed against you.There are many sins. One stood out to me.“. . .The sin we have committed against You by our arrogance. . .For all these sins, O God of mercy, forgive us, pardon us, grant us atonement!”* * * * *I distributed stickers of my Instagram character named Cancerslayer to the sticker-hungry children who visited my table. “Cancerslayer fights illness by day and bad guys by...
Source: cancerslayerblog - September 25, 2015 Category: Cancer & Oncology Tags: life lessons Source Type: blogs
I Hope They Allow Crutches in Hell
As published on The Ulman Cancer Fund for Young AdultsCrutching is a great way to help injuries heal and bypass the lines at Disney World, and able-bodied individuals may treat crutchers with kindness. If you use crutches and think people are nice to you only because they consider you weak, and you must prove your strength until your death by always taking the challenging path through life, then follow these steps.On the Washington, D.C., Metro, people will ask, “Do you want my seat?” Don’t let them snatch your completely irrational pride. You need to stand on one leg while holding crutches with one hand and the pole...
Source: cancerslayerblog - August 14, 2015 Category: Cancer & Oncology Tags: I'm an ass living habits Source Type: blogs
Hi Mom, I Got a Tattoo!
As published on Gather the JewsHi Mom,Please sit so you don’t keel when you read this, and remember to inhale and then exhale, in that order: I got another tattoo.I know you thought my final would be the survivor tumor tattoo I received three years ago, or even the tattoo dots I received before my radiation 14 years ago. I know that you, Dad, and ten percent of women like me exactly how I am. Please let me explain my tattoo and then you will love it like I do.In Judaism, we use trees to celebrate holidays, weddings and births. I love consuming food and booze on holidays, and Mom, your other son just got married and maybe...
Source: cancerslayerblog - July 13, 2015 Category: Cancer & Oncology Tags: life lessons living habits Source Type: blogs
I Remember Rachel for Her Ferocity for Life, Not Cancer
I first wrote about my amazing friend Rachel "Lings" Yingling three years ago, and today likely won't be the last time. She was among the best and my favorite people I have met. Besides her inexplicably odd-shaped feet which she didn't mind showing off, we could all benefit from acquiring her characteristics: passionate, positive, resilient, adventurous, alive. Fiercely alive.This is for Rachel.As published on The Huffington PostThe skeet whooshed towards the heavens. My right eye stared ahead with the barrel flush. I had developed a rhythm with the saucer: After it launched I waited until it reached a preci...
Source: cancerslayerblog - June 23, 2015 Category: Cancer & Oncology Tags: life lessons Source Type: blogs
Biggest, Baddest, Raddest Wedding: My Bro Got Married
I didn’t dance with that pretty girl nearly enough. I missed seeing the bouquet toss, cake cutting, mother-son and father-daughter dances, and my dad hopping on the drums to “Sweet Caroline.” I accept all these failings because NoCommonSense and I crushed our best men speech that included Hulk Hogan’s theme song.I have spoken many times to audiences as large as a few hundred about cancer stealing my physical abilities and chunks of my adolescence. Unlike those speeches, the attempted humor-to-sentiment ratio for our best men speech was a whopping 95 to 5 percent. And unlike all those others, this best men speech we...
Source: cancerslayerblog - June 16, 2015 Category: Cancer & Oncology Tags: family Source Type: blogs
Road Trippin' from Denver to Las Vegas in a Chrysler 200: A Picture Story
Read this first: Remembering That One Memorable TripI miss the 11 a.m. tour of Balcony House at Mesa Verde National Park by six minutes, resulting in possible catastrophe: after the noon tour, Garmin estimates I will reach the South Rim of the Grand Canyon at sunset instead of with a time cushion. I roar down the two-lane US-160 West with its broken yellow center line, passing all the cars.I stop for my afternoon coffee, a requirement for this addict. Garmin says I just lost five minutes. Now I pass cars that any other time I would consider too risky. My accelerator pedal lives on or near the floor. This rental Chrysler 20...
Source: cancerslayerblog - June 3, 2015 Category: Cancer & Oncology Tags: my videos travels Source Type: blogs
Remembering That One Memorable Trip
Whenever I fly I recall my first trip to Minneapolis with my parents in March 2003 when I was 19 years old. My life was stalled, I had dropped out of college and cancer was rapidly invading my bone marrow. Though, physically I felt fine. I felt great. I loved that trip and I had life-or-death purpose, or maybe I loved it because I had life-or-death purpose.We traveled across the country to spend a day at the University of Minnesota Medical Center and speak with Dr. Andre Million. It was one of the top children’s transplant centers and he was one of its rock star transplant oncologists. Minneapolis symbolized hope.My mom ...
Source: cancerslayerblog - May 15, 2015 Category: Cancer & Oncology Tags: travels Source Type: blogs
What Does Frisbee Golf Have to do with Cancer?
This morning I joined FOX 5 DC's Good Day DC set to talk about one of my favorite organizations, First Descents. I know what you're thinking: only a goofball [insert other descriptors here if you wish] would mention frisbee golf in an interview about cancer and adventure trips for survivors. But hey, I'm 30 years old which means I have a license to be a _______.You can see my interview by clicking the image below. You can also read stories I previously wrote about my experience with First Descents on its blog and The Huffington Post. (Source: I've Still Got Both My Nuts: A True Cancer Blog)
Source: I've Still Got Both My Nuts: A True Cancer Blog - August 19, 2014 Category: Cancer Tags: media Source Type: blogs
Why it’s Possible to Spend 80 Hours Planning a Trip
The various methods of vacationing fall on the following spectrum:Next week I travel both to Europe and by myself for the first times. When I decided to pull the trigger on this trip, I’d have pulled a different trigger had I known planning it would require this much time. Here is why it is actually possible to spend 80 hours planning for your solo international travel.You want to experience all kinds of shelter and social interaction so you book a hotel, hostel, Airbnb and couch. Couchsurfing requires you to create a brand new social network profile, but nobody wants a strange dude on his couch so you face unending reje...
Source: I've Still Got Both My Nuts: A True Cancer Blog - August 15, 2014 Category: Cancer Tags: travels Source Type: blogs
A Teenage Boy and His Parents Walk Into a Sperm Bank
As published on The Huffington PostI have become desensitized to the annual ritual where my dad hands me an envelope he's received in the mail addressed to me and that has no return address. After 14 years, we are both nearly positive of the envelope's origin. I open one side and remove the bill just enough to see Fairfax Cryobank across the top, and then hand it back to him. "I think this is for you."My mom and I visited Fairfax Cryobank for the first time on September 25, 2000. The doctor explained my risk of sterility and the sperm banking process, and then asked my mom for written permission for me to use pornography. ...
Source: I've Still Got Both My Nuts: A True Cancer Blog - August 11, 2014 Category: Cancer Tags: bodily function family Source Type: blogs
