David and Debbie Oliver's AAHPM Plenary: Comforting Others While Living With Illness

One could write pages about David and Debbie Oliver's remarkable plenary presentation Friday at the American Academy of Hospice and Palliative Medicine Annual Assembly in New Orleans.  David has stage IV nasopharyngeal carcinoma and has taken his cancer journey to the public.  Before I go any further, I'll refer you to David's book, "Exit Strategy: Depriving Death of Its Strangeness," Paul Tatum's Interview with David at Geripal from August 2012, and below, see a clip from David's Cancer Videoblog in which he talks about cancer and palliative care. Of the many themes which arose from their presentation, I was especially struck by David's statements about the disclosure of his diagnosis to others and his frequent need to comfort the person receiving the news.  Our culture struggles with the language to respond when surprised by the news that someone we know or meet has a serious illness.  David talked about his 94 year old mentor telling him, "don't panic, don't struggle, relax, and accept it" in the face of the illness, and he's really taken the advice to heart.  Yet I'm sure that many people he meets project their own fears about developing a serious illness, and thus assume that every day is a monumentally and persistently dour struggle.  (I've had medical students and others remark to me before about a terminally ill patient, "how can they be in such a good mood?" as if this were forbidden once the illusion of immortality has been cast aside...
Source: Pallimed: A Hospice and Palliative Medicine Blog - Category: Palliative Carer Workers Authors: Source Type: blogs