Why Are Relationships So Difficult?

Have you ever wondered why you can meet someone and “know” instantly that you’re attracted to them?  You feel your heart pound, butterflies in your stomach, and an intense desire to “make something happen.”  This is the power of our unconscious.  Our unconscious drives us. We are unable to say, in that moment, exactly what it is that draws us to that person. It is overwhelming, an overpowering combination of sensations that have no words. What is our unconscious? It is a compilation of dynamics, processes, beliefs, attitudes, suppressed memories and feelings. We don’t have access to our unconscious (which is what makes it unconscious). We are unable to think about our unconscious mind. This is what makes it so difficult to understand our reactions, feelings and motivations, and attachments to those who hurt us. Childhood experiences provide the foundation for adult functioning, including selection of partners and the way in which these relationships play out. For those lucky enough to have had emotionally and psychologically healthy parents who understood their own trauma histories and the effects those experiences had on their development, those parents are in a good position to be able to meet the needs of their developing child. Sadly, many are unaware of the effects of their childhood; they either minimize, deny or rationalize their impacts. Despite their best efforts, the behavioral manifestations of that lack of awareness and reso...
Source: World of Psychology - Category: Psychiatry & Psychology Authors: Tags: Marriage and Divorce Parenting Relationships Trauma Childhood Trauma Intimacy Modeling Rejection Source Type: blogs