Everything Happens for a Reason —And Other Things Not to Say When Tragedy Strikes

“Well, it’s the good kind of cancer. You will be better soon.” Those are the words Elizabeth Gillette heard from some people when she was diagnosed with Hodgkin’s Lymphoma at 21 years old. She would need several rounds of chemotherapy followed by radiation treatment. She was terrified — and shocked to hear anyone refer to her cancer as good. These “responses effectively closed me off to having any further conversation with them because I knew they didn’t understand how scared I was feeling,” said Gillette, LCSW, now an attachment-focused therapist, who specializes in working with individuals and couples as their families grow. “You can always try again.” Those are the words Gillette’s clients have heard from family and friends after sharing they’d suffered a miscarriage. “God doesn’t give us anything we can’t handle.” This is another unhelpful response. It “implies that the person must handle the situation well and if they are having a tough time, it must mean something about them and their abilities,” Gillette said. “At least you have your health,” “At least they’re no longer in pain,” “I know how you feel, I’ve lost ______. Or “I’m dealing with this hard thing too.” These are other examples of phrases that can be hurtful, according to Laura Torres, LPC, a holistic mental health counselor who loves supporting people in navigating anxiety, stress, self-worth issues, relationship challeng...
Source: World of Psychology - Category: Psychiatry & Psychology Authors: Tags: Family Friends General Health-related Mental Health and Wellness Relationships Self-Help Bereavement Coping Failure grief grieving loss Tragedy Source Type: blogs