Reclaiming Your Life After Breaking Up

As the saying goes, breaking up is hard to do. There are few things more painful than the heartache of separating from someone who has found their way into our heart — the shock of a sudden ending and being alone again. How can we heal and move on after such a gut-wrenching trauma? A complex slew of feelings may overwhelm us after a break-up. How can we tap into inner resources that might help us heal? A psychologically savvy view of working with adversity can be drawn from the Buddha’s story of the two arrows. The first arrow strikes us with a deep sense of loss and the sudden shock of living without our partner. The comfort, familiarity, and connection is no longer available. If the separation was gradual, our grief may be less acute. But similar to losing a loved after a long illness, there can still be the shocking finality of no longer sharing your life together. The realization that the relationship isn’t what we thought it was — and will no longer continue as expected or hoped for — can undermine our sense of reality. Something we thought was true and secure turns out to be untrue and unstable. If the separation was sudden, perhaps triggered by a betrayal or unilateral decision by one person, we may feel excruciatingly raw and vulnerable. The brutal shock of such an announcement can be traumatic. Being unable to wrap our mind around what happened and having no voice in the matter can leave us feeling disrespected, powerless, and unspeakably s...
Source: World of Psychology - Category: Psychiatry & Psychology Authors: Tags: Depression General Grief and Loss Happiness Mental Health and Wellness Mindfulness Psychology Relationships Self-Esteem Self-Help Spirituality Abandonment Blame Breakups Coping Skills Dating Failure grieving Guilt Hea Source Type: blogs