Navigating Thanksgiving with Difficult Relatives

Thanksgiving. It’s the only general American feast day. The magazine covers at the checkout counter are filled with colorful pictures of pies and pumpkins, vegetable dishes and, of course, that glorious, huge golden brown stuffed bird. In every hosting household, lists are made of food to buy and dishes to prepare for an annual gathering centered on family togetherness and, let’s face it, enthusiastic gluttony followed by football. Meanwhile, for many people, Thanksgiving is also fraught with anxiety about family dynamics. Will there be tension between that mother and that daughter-in-law? (Yes. Probably.) Will the kids who usually fight with each other get along? (Probably not.) Will that uncle who always drinks too much do it again? (Yup.) Will the food critic of the group find something to criticize or decline with a grimace? (Also Yup.) Will most of the people try to make it a pleasant day at least most of the time? (Hopefully.) For some families, what should be a day of celebration and warm togetherness is instead fraught with barely contained anxiety. It’s just true. We can’t change our relatives. We can only change our response to them. If your family is difficult, if you both love and hate the idea of getting together around the turkey table with the whole menagerie called your kin, repeat after me: “You can’t change your relatives.” But — Here’s the good news: You can change your experience of the day. It’s not only true that what you see is ...
Source: World of Psychology - Category: Psychiatry & Psychology Authors: Tags: Family Happiness Holiday Coping Stress arguments family disputes Family Gathering Family Politics Holiday Meal keep the peace Thanksgiving Source Type: blogs