Poetry Corner - Cancer's a funny thing

J.B.S. Haldane retained his wit even while undergoing cancer treatments — he wrote this poem in a hospital in 1964:I wish I had the voice of HomerTo sing of rectal carcinoma,Which kills a lot more chaps, in fact,Than were bumped off when Troy was sacked.Yet, thanks to modern surgeon’s skills,It can be killed before it killsUpon a scientific basisIn nineteen out of twenty cases.I noticed I was passing blood(Only a few drops, not a flood).So pausing on my homeward wayFrom Tallahassee to BombayI asked a doctor, now my friend,To peer into my hinder end,To prove or to disprove the rumourThat I had a malignant tumour.They pumped in BaS04Till I could really stand no more,And, when sufficient had been pressed in,They photographed my large intestine.In order to decide the issueThey next scraped out some bits of tissue.(Before they did so, some good palHad knocked me out with pentothal,Whose action is extremely quick,And does not leave me feeling sick.)The microscope returned the answerThat I had certainly got cancer,So I was wheeled into the theatreWhere holes were made to make me better.One set is in my perineumWhere I can feel, but can’t yet see ‘em.Another made me like a kipperOr female prey of Jack the Ripper,Through this incision, I don’t doubt,The neoplasm was taken out,Along with colon, and lymph nodesWhere cancer cells might find abodes.A third much smaller hole is meantTo function as a ventral vent:So now I am like two-faced JanusThe only* god who sees his anus.*In ...
Source: PharmaGossip - Category: Pharma Commentators Authors: Source Type: blogs