What Prompts You to Quarrel?

“We are never so much disposed to quarrel with others as when we are dissatisfied with ourselves.” – William Hazlitt Sometimes you just want to pick a fight. You might not even know why you feel so inclined to argue, only that you do. Once the words blurt from your lips, though, it’s hard to take them back without some pain on the part of you or the other person or persons. There’s good reason for the recommendation to think before you speak. Still, what really prompts you to want to quarrel? Is it organic, something external or internal? To look at why we quarrel it may be instructive to first examine what happens when everything feels great. If you wake up in the morning and eagerly welcome the day, find the positives in life as soon as your feet touch the floor upon getting out of bed, the likelihood that you’ll find yourself prone to picking a fight isn’t very high. Granted, some unforeseen event could happen — a traffic jam that results in you being late for work, a disagreement over a project, an unexpected bill or bad news — that sours your mood, making you a little more prone to being testy with others. But being able to find the good instead of the bad may outweigh temporary negatives. On the other hand, when you feel bad about yourself, when you are sad for an extended period, feel like you’ve missed out on life, that you’re destined for failure, that you lack the abilities or intelligence or miss out on lucky opportunities, you ...
Source: World of Psychology - Category: Psychiatry & Psychology Authors: Tags: Anger Relationships Self-Help Anger Management argument Communication Conflict Resolution Defensiveness Source Type: blogs