How to Respond to an Insult, According to Therapists

Have you ever been stunned into silence by an insult—only to think of the perfect witty comeback two hours too late? Of course you have, and there’s a physiological reason why. “When someone says something offensive or harmful that hurts us or hurts a member of a community that’s really important to us, our nervous system can get activated,” says Kerry McBroome, a psychologist in Brooklyn. “The parts of the brain that are responsible for coming up with clever or witty things to say are just not online—they’re nervous and sensing a threat.” [time-brightcove not-tgx=”true”] That’s why planning ahead is essential. “There’s something really life-affirming about having something to say ready to go in your back pocket,” McBroome says. Pulling off a sharp response can boost your confidence and “be such a source of pride.” We asked therapists to share their favorite comebacks that either invite additional dialogue or shut down the conversation. “Hey, flag on the play.” When Ajita Robinson, a therapist in Bethesda, Md., is taken aback or confused by the words that just rolled out of someone’s mouth, she pulls out a sports term: “Hey, flag on the play.” In football, a flag indicates that an official believes a player committed a penalty, like pass interference or roughing the kicker. By flagging what someone just said, Robinson is making it...
Source: TIME: Health - Category: Consumer Health News Authors: Tags: Uncategorized Evergreen healthscienceclimate Source Type: news