The Insidious and Omnipresent Infantilization of Disabled Adults
Here is my latest post for the Psychology Today blog, about how common it is to infantilize people with disabilities; how I recognized this attitude in myself. An experience with MUSE was, as it so often is, my muse for the piece. (Source: Susan's Blog)
Source: Susan's Blog - November 27, 2018 Category: Child Development Authors: Susan Senator Tags: Uncategorized Source Type: blogs
CNN ’ s Article on Nat and Voting
CNN just published a print story of the voting booklet that I made for Nat for this election. I tried to figure out just what he would need to understand, in order to vote like a responsible citizen. I did guide him to consider being a Democrat, the same as I do for my other two sons, because it is my responsibility as their mother to make sure the actions they take have only a positive impact on their lives. But I have created a more general, more neutral format of the booklet that I will share here and hopefully others with developmental and cognitive disabilities will use it and be able to vote: Voting-Public Version ...
Source: Susan's Blog - November 5, 2018 Category: Child Development Authors: Susan Senator Tags: Uncategorized Source Type: blogs
Vote Blue, Your Country ’ s Lifeblood is At Stake
On this ugly rainy day I find my mind turning to the potentially ugly future. Over the years that I’ve written in my blog I have made no secret of the fact that I’m both Jewish and a Liberal Democrat. I am in mourning for the Jews that were shot yesterday in Pittsburgh. Two of them were developmentally disabled. One was actually a Holocaust survivor. Six others were innocent human beings.
I live in Massachusetts, I believe in publicly funded social programs like Welfare, supports for the disabled, elderly, poor, and addicted. I believe in funding public education and special education and bilingual education. I...
Source: Susan's Blog - October 29, 2018 Category: Child Development Authors: Susan Senator Tags: Uncategorized Source Type: blogs
Autumn Chill
Fall is the empty nest time of year; even the trees must deal with the fact of their seeds dropping off to start new lives. And I am an old mother, dealing with my children’s departure for years. My son Nat has lived away from us for eleven years. But this particular autumn I find myself unable to shake my sadness, the feeling that there has been a permanent shift, and that I’m not ready for it.
Like many families, Nat, who is my oldest moved into a residential school at 17. Unlike many families, this was a school for students with severe autism. The move out of the home is so dreaded by most autism families ...
Source: Susan's Blog - October 25, 2018 Category: Child Development Authors: Susan Senator Tags: Uncategorized Source Type: blogs
Inclusion and our Social Contract
“As soon as any man says of the affairs of the State “What does it matter to me?” the State may be given up for lost.”
Jean-Jacques Rousseau, The Social Contract
“There is nothing better than the encouragement of a good friend.”
Jean-Jacques Rousseau
My children have all crossed the threshold into adulthood. My youngest son Ben is settling deeply into a happy life as an art student in Savannah. He is happier than I have ever seen him, living according to his goals and talents. His art is a wild and wonderful combination of wisdom and wit way beyond his twenty years. My middle son Max is a First ...
Source: Susan's Blog - September 5, 2018 Category: Child Development Authors: Susan Senator Tags: Uncategorized Source Type: blogs
Hodor is My Hero
Here is my latest Psychology Today column, a mother’s take on Game of Thrones‘ portrayal of disability and why Hodor is my hero. (Source: Susan's Blog)
Source: Susan's Blog - July 25, 2018 Category: Child Development Authors: Susan Senator Tags: Uncategorized Source Type: blogs
He ’ s with the band
They showed up one evening, at my friend Eswar’s house. He was hosting a bunch of musicians that night, an impromptu concert. He himself was going to play the violin with his son. That in in itself was a good enough reason for us to be there, to see Sri — whom we’d known since he was little, who had befriended Nat because Nat tickled him – play the violin with his dad. Sri has autism, like Nat. This musical ability blew my mind.
I didn’t even know the two women – clearly they were the teachers — were together. Elaine, was petite, with long dark hair and a violin tucked under her chin. I knew that she ...
Source: Susan's Blog - July 13, 2018 Category: Child Development Authors: Susan Senator Tags: Uncategorized Source Type: blogs
Stuck in Time
Darkness during the brightest day
Showed up, surprising me. A soft pain, like a bruise
The kind you don’t know where it came from
But now it’s there and you have to just wait for it to get worse.
Or it’s like a bug, flying small around the room, bumping into windows and walls
Until it lands.
And then — I understand.
It’s you. You’re all gone. Well, okay, not gone. Still here, but really there.
It’s cruel, that now that I can see, really see you — because you are there now, in space.
But when you were here, with me, so close I could only feel. So back then
I was the bug, bum...
Source: Susan's Blog - July 5, 2018 Category: Child Development Authors: Susan Senator Tags: Uncategorized Source Type: blogs
Stuck
Darkness during the brightest day
Showed up, surprised me, a soft pain, like a bruise
You don’t know where it came from
But now it’s there and you have to just wait
Wait I do know
It started in my belly. Dead. Center.
Flying small around the room, like a bug it bumps windows and walls
Until it lands.
And then I understand.
It’s you. You’re gone. Well, not gone. Still here, but really there.
Kind of cruel, that now that I can see, really see you — because you are there now
When you were here, with me, so close I could only feel. So back then
I was the bug, bumping around you, smelling, feeling,...
Source: Susan's Blog - July 5, 2018 Category: Child Development Authors: Susan Senator Tags: Uncategorized Source Type: blogs
Don ’ t Call My Autistic Son “ Buddy ”
Don’t Call My Autistic Son “Buddy.”
This is the subject of my latest Psychology Today column, which you can find here. (Source: Susan's Blog)
Source: Susan's Blog - June 14, 2018 Category: Child Development Authors: Susan Senator Tags: Uncategorized Source Type: blogs
Life will, uh, find a way
I had a bike accident a few days ago. I got “doored.” I had just completed a 19 mile ride, my usual summer route, when I decided to finish up riding on a road near my house, parallel to the park I usually ride in. I don’t know what made me change up the route, which took me next to a whole lane of parked cars; maybe just the desire to do something a tiny bit different from the park path.
The driver’s side door of the Mercedes swung out, just like that, and I yelled, “NO!” but there is no stopping the laws of physics. I felt myself moving through space, I heard the crack of my helmet, the...
Source: Susan's Blog - June 12, 2018 Category: Child Development Authors: Susan Senator Tags: Uncategorized Source Type: blogs
I ’ m Biking For The MUSE Foundation
I am doing my first charity ride, September 1, in an organization called Bike to the Beach. Bike to the Beach pulls autism philanthropies together under their widespread umbrella so that multiple autism causes can come together and raise a good deal of money while networking with each other and raising awareness. My team is Team MUSE Foundation. MUSE, which stands for Music, Unity and Social Expansion, is a non-profit that is all about community inclusion and social opportunities through musical instruction and performance.
I joined the board of MUSE in December 2017. I go to every rehearsal because Nat is part of MUSE. Na...
Source: Susan's Blog - June 10, 2018 Category: Child Development Authors: Susan Senator Tags: Uncategorized Source Type: blogs
Thought For Food
Why down? Why now? No reason on earth. The mind just roams, searching, digging for the reason for the sad, ostensibly to pounce on it, crush it, make it so flat as to disappear it. But — the law of conservation of matter — so that can’t happen. Or is sadness an energy, rather than matter?
Doesn’t matter.
Somehow there is food attached. Or Food, as a big concept. Food I just ate. Food I want to eat. Food I can’t eat. Hours until I can eat again. And then it all falls to that: hours. There are hours worth of what I am supposed to do but really that I can postpone so why do it when I don’t ...
Source: Susan's Blog - June 4, 2018 Category: Child Development Authors: Susan Senator Tags: Uncategorized Source Type: blogs
Hall of Fame Speech
I was inducted into my high school Hall of Fame today! It was a lovely ceremony, with three other inductees from other graduating classes. The bond we shared was public service and giving back to the community. I feel so honored and honestly blown away by the thoughtful ceremony and the achievements of the others there. By the way, my high school is named after former U.S. Senator Brien McMahon, and so we were the McMahon Senators! You can imagine how interesting that was for me…
Here is the speech I gave today, drawing from certain life lessons of two of my favorite teachers:
“Get out of your culture,” ...
Source: Susan's Blog - June 3, 2018 Category: Child Development Authors: Susan Senator Tags: Uncategorized Source Type: blogs
Wood that it were clearer
Yesterday I had to pick up Nat from his day program so that he could get to his band rehearsal and voice lesson by 6. His usual routine was unavailable because the group home needed the van for an event, so there was no way to take Nat to his practice.
Nat was ready the moment I showed up, of course. Someone is always hanging around the entrance and everyone knows me there by now, so the grapevine gets to Nat before I do. He walked right past me, to the car. I started up with conversational attempts because I have a problem with no talking. I do this, because I think it’s right, too. Even though — or possibly b...
Source: Susan's Blog - May 25, 2018 Category: Child Development Authors: Susan Senator Tags: Uncategorized Source Type: blogs
