Stuck

Darkness during the brightest day
Showed up, surprised me, a soft pain, like a bruise
You don’t know where it came from
But now it’s there and you have to just wait
Wait I do know
It started in my belly. Dead. Center.
Flying small around the room, like a bug it bumps windows and walls
Until it lands.
And then I understand.
It’s you. You’re gone. Well, not gone. Still here, but really there.
Kind of cruel, that now that I can see, really see you — because you are there now
When you were here, with me, so close I could only feel. So back then
I was the bug, bumping around you, smelling, feeling, but it was so bright I could only sometimes open my eyes, like in that dream where I just can’t run or yell.
You were so bright, I was so blind, so clumsy, so stupid not to know
That it wouldn’t always always be that way. That you would go
Because you had to, you’re supposed to. It’s exactly right
But here I am, purple pain, stuck in time, waiting again.
 

Source: Susan's Blog - July 5, 2018 Category: Child Development Authors: Susan Senator Tags: Uncategorized Source Type: blogs