A Perfect Storm is Roiling Disabled Students
Here is my latest article in WBUR’s Cognoscenti Column, on the perfect storm of political nightmare roiling students with disabilities. Add to this icy mix Jeff Sessions who describes the ways in which IDEA and disabled students are burdens. (Source: Susan's Blog)
Source: Susan's Blog - February 8, 2017 Category: Child Development Authors: Susan Senator Tags: Uncategorized Source Type: blogs
Hands to Lead
Fish gotta swim, birds gotta fly. Children grow up and leave the nest. It’s the natural order of things. We’re happy for them, even though it’s hard for us to let go.
But all of this rests on the condition that they are prepared to go. My oldest son, now 27, has just left home, but because of his profound autism, truly letting go feels infinitely distant, like the cold blink of stars. Oh, he’s left home before — to live at school, and later, to live in group homes and other state-run living arrangements. but not like this. I am so afraid that he is not ready, will never be ready, in terms of p...
Source: Susan's Blog - February 7, 2017 Category: Child Development Authors: Susan Senator Tags: Uncategorized Source Type: blogs
How Green Is My Natty
I’ve been here before. A fiery fissure breaking through my heart, Richter scale 6-8, the pain of saying goodbye to a son. This feeling is familiar territory with motherhood. But with autism there is an additional darkness in the chasm. My oldest, Nat, is 27 and autistic, and he is leaving today for a group home.
I spent the morning, and the day before at those home accessory stores, lost in a fog of pastel household goods and women, glassy-eyed like me, stroking carpets that hung like a row of furry tongues and other items they did not need. I was shopping for Nat’s new room: towels, bedside table, curtains. Th...
Source: Susan's Blog - February 1, 2017 Category: Child Development Authors: Susan Senator Tags: Uncategorized Source Type: blogs
One Giant Step for Natkind
We just had an interesting, positive moment. Some of you know that Nat– still living at home since July – has been exploding into rages almost daily when things go a little wrong/not his way. It passes, but it’s horrible: screaming, slapping his head hard, pleading loudly and sadly for what he wants. But he can’t always have what he wants — no one can. Things break. Too much chocolate makes you sick. Plans change.
Ned and I have been working together on this problem for weeks. We’ve been focusing on getting his meds right. But I realized yesterday that all of my strategizing and anal...
Source: Susan's Blog - January 2, 2017 Category: Child Development Authors: Susan Senator Tags: Uncategorized Source Type: blogs
Will o ’ the Wisp
Didn’t I always know/
that you were, as Grandma said/
a will o’ the wisp?
The feathery smile that broke/
the worry/
and my heart/
brought me to my knees.
love didn’t feel like love, it was more/
like pain and fear. Bizarre.
My upside down baby/
I had to learn everything. backwards.
Let you go you let go/
You is Me/
Left home for Home and Harm/
The protection around your heart/
(which was supposed to be me)/
was not enough. I was not enough.
He’s fine, they say/
Move on, they say/
Let go, they say/
But I will not, will o’ the wisp. Because I always knew. (Source: Susan's Blog)
Source: Susan's Blog - November 4, 2016 Category: Child Development Authors: Susan Senator Tags: Uncategorized Source Type: blogs
It Can Happen Here
In Nazi Germany, the disabled were among the first to go. Here in America, we had our own brand of “rounding up” and interring The Other. In the 1940′s it was Japanese interment camps. Nathan Uno is a colleague of my husband Ned Batchelder. Nate has written a piece comparing the American post-Pearl Harbor zeitgest of the 1940′s that led to the rounding up Japanese Americans and interring them in concentration camps in our own country. The hatred and suspicion of Asian immigrants of that era is very similar to Donald Trump’s anti-immigrant policy proposals. Trump has indeed spoken of rounding u...
Source: Susan's Blog - November 4, 2016 Category: Child Development Authors: Susan Senator Tags: Uncategorized Source Type: blogs
It ’ s a Wonder That We Still Know How To Breathe
What’s good is bad, what’s bad is good. You find out when you reach the top, you’re on the bottom.
–Bob Dylan, Idiot Wind
One part of me that has yet to recover from Nat’s trauma is my own advocate persona. My own professional views. It is bitterly ironic to me that I wrote an entire book on Autism Adulthood, (see, I still can’t resist the plug) — but now I am stumped as to what to do for Natty at almost 27. He’s living at home and we are getting used to it and enjoying it. But is that okay? Shouldn’t I be making five-year plans and then lifetime ones? But I lay awake l...
Source: Susan's Blog - September 30, 2016 Category: Child Development Authors: Susan Senator Tags: Uncategorized Source Type: blogs
The Weight of Love
I marvel at the human healing process. It is nearly four months since we took Nat back home after discovering mysterious bruises on him, and ultimately x-rays of fractured ribs. If you’re new to me, yes, that is what you actually read. My 26 year-old son was hurt by someone or something in his life and we discovered the injuries by chance, on July 3. An investigation followed — and just wrapped up — and the state found no conclusive evidence of either abuse or neglect. That leaves spontaneous fracturing of bones, and as far as I know, that just does not happen.
But Nat, God bless him, bounced back so quic...
Source: Susan's Blog - September 28, 2016 Category: Child Development Authors: Susan Senator Tags: Uncategorized Source Type: blogs
Autism Takes Time
When Nat was a very little guy — before I knew about the autism that seemed to be knotting tight little nooses around his brain cells – I wanted nothing more than to be that friendly-faced mom who took her toddler to every single enrichment activity she could find. There was something called Warmlines, which promised mommy support and toys; Gymboree; library book hour; mother-child swim class; baby music school; and on and on. I’d go, but every single one of these activities blew up in my face. I became more and more wary of the “amazing” teachers, the “patient” librarians, the f...
Source: Susan's Blog - September 26, 2016 Category: Child Development Authors: Susan Senator Tags: Uncategorized Source Type: blogs
Vote for Hillary. Don ’ t Kill Our Country
I’ve read many Nazi Germany books in my lifetime. Now I’m reading “All the Light We Cannot See.” I would advise anyone who is thinking at all that they would vote for a bully like Trump, to read this book and observe how It happens. Germany was ahead of everyone in civilization, sophistication. But they were suffering economically after WWI. They found their focus, on Jews, immigrants, disabled people. Anyone perceived as stealing from them — jobs, money, food, resources — and bit by bit they justified their cruelty. Little by little. Google Nurmeberg Laws. Read The Banality of Evil. Lea...
Source: Susan's Blog - September 24, 2016 Category: Child Development Authors: Susan Senator Tags: Uncategorized Source Type: blogs
The Truthful Unreliable Reporter
The conclusion reached by the investigation into Nat’s injuries from July is that there is no evidence that Nat was abused or even neglected by any of the people caring for him. I read the report carefully, and although I feel good that the process was thorough, I do have some questions.
Back in July, when we first noticed Nat’s terrible bruises — and subsequently learned of his fractured ribs — the very first thing he said to me was “bike.” I felt a sharp pang when he said this because the only biking Nat does is with me. I always keep him in my rear-view mirror, and we ride a contained...
Source: Susan's Blog - September 15, 2016 Category: Child Development Authors: Susan Senator Tags: Uncategorized Source Type: blogs
The Daffy Laffies
Nat has always had a laughing “behavior.” I say “behavior” because it seems small of me to label something as wonderful as laughter as a behavior. But in autism, a behavior, of course, connotes something that needs to be changed. But when you speak of “behavior” without “a” modifying it, it can be good or bad.
Nat has been doing the Daffy Laffies for as long as I can remember. I actually remember his first laugh. As so many things are with Nat, you could watch him consciously learn how to laugh. You could actually see the realization lighting up his eyes, the delight with t...
Source: Susan's Blog - September 13, 2016 Category: Child Development Authors: Susan Senator Tags: Uncategorized Source Type: blogs
If I Were a Good Mother
If I were a good mother, I’d read to Nat every day, on the chance that it would spark something and he would eventually read to himself. Or maybe it would make him want to talk. But I sit here, sleepy and addicted to my own book, comfortable in the big armchair. Nat seems happy in his room. Didn’t I hear him laughing up there? Fake laughter, but still. Something he enjoys.
If I were a good mother, I’d go upstairs and engage him so that he is redirected from fake laughter.
If I were a good mother, I’d have Nat make his own lunch. I would start with small steps. Choose your snack. Get a baggie. Eventu...
Source: Susan's Blog - September 13, 2016 Category: Child Development Authors: Susan Senator Tags: Uncategorized Source Type: blogs
Everyone, ASD or Not, Should Have a Resume
I was asked to update Nat’s resume now that he is at a new day program. I believe that all young adults should put together a resume, thinking outside of the box about possible skills they have. It’s all in how you look at it. Think of stim as a skill, hobby. Think of conversation tracks. Obsessions. Any of these are clues into a person’s interests and motivations. And so, parents, teachers, and caregivers — you should think this way, and help his/her facilitate responses. I put Nat’s resume together on my own, because it is tough/nearly impossible to get Nat to think this abstractly. And as y...
Source: Susan's Blog - August 29, 2016 Category: Child Development Authors: Susan Senator Tags: Uncategorized Source Type: blogs
Purple Mountains ’ Majesty
I think I was about seven years old the summer we took our first trip Out West. We stopped at many of the major National Parks and camped there, too. Hooked to our Ford Country Squire station wagon we had a tent trailer that slept four, and had room to eat inside, but that was it. Most of the time we were outside or under the tarp that doubled as the camper cover. I kept a diary that really makes me laugh now, to see what my little girl mind made of the experience (lots of exclamation points). Like most children, I took my emotional cues from my parents. Worrying about my loved ones’ states of mind ran through my ps...
Source: Susan's Blog - August 25, 2016 Category: Child Development Authors: Susan Senator Tags: Uncategorized Source Type: blogs
