The True Meaning of Regret, According to Science

Everyone has regrets, but you always imagine that those regrets revolve around action you took and the mistakes you believe you’ve made. We focus so much on the decisions we make in the moment, wondering if we made the wrong choice in hindsight, but a recent study published in the journal Emotion indicates that the old adage still rings true: it’s not the things you do in life that you regret, it’s the things you don’t do. In a study entitled “The Ideal Road Not Taken,” Cornell psychologists identified three elements that make up a person’s sense of self. Your actual self consists of qualities that you believe you possess. Your ideal self is made up of the qualities you want to have. Your ought self is the person you feel you should have been, according to your personal obligations and responsibilities.1 In surveying the responses of hundreds of participants in six studies, the researchers found that, when asked to name their single biggest regret in life, 76 percent of participants gave one top answer — they didn’t fulfill their ideal self. This indicates that we might have a flawed attitude and perception toward how we avoid regret. We live in a world in which we are told that we’ll have a great life, if we follow the golden rules. So one figures that if they do all of the things that society expects them to do, like be a good citizen, get married at the appropriate time, make enough money to pay the bills, etc., they’ll feel happy and fulf...
Source: World of Psychology - Category: Psychiatry & Psychology Authors: Tags: Inspiration & Hope Motivation and Inspiration Research Success & Achievement regret Rumination Worry Source Type: blogs