When Your Partner Breaks A Promise

Your partner broke a promise. Again. They promised to do more around the house. But they didn’t. They promised to stop criticizing you in front of your friends. But they haven’t. They promised to stop over-spending or gambling. They haven’t done that either. Maybe they broke an even bigger promise—and had an affair. Broken promises, big or small, corrode trust, said Ashley Thorn, LMFT, a psychotherapist who helps families, couples and individuals facing all kinds of struggles and transitions. “And without trust in a relationship, there is no feeling of emotional safety, which rids partners of their ability to be vulnerable and connect with each other.” There are many reasons why partners break promises. The first reason, of course, is that they didn’t want to make the promise in the first place. “Sometimes a person will throw out a promise just to appease their partner or stop a fight, but they didn’t really want to make the promise, may disagree, or feel it’s unfair,” Thorn said. Second, partners don’t prioritize the promise. That is, if you promised to clean the bathroom, but you don’t consider how you’ll fit the cleaning into your schedule, and you don’t set reminders, you probably won’t follow through. Third, the promise isn’t specific. This actually often leads partners to unintentionally break a promise, because both of you weren’t on the same page. For example, you ask your husband to manage his drinking better. But what does...
Source: World of Psychology - Category: Psychiatry & Psychology Authors: Tags: General Marriage and Divorce Mental Health and Wellness Relationships Self-Help Stress Source Type: blogs