‘ Tis the Season to Stop Being Passive Aggressive

The first time I heard the term “passive aggressive,” someone used the term to describe me. I was in graduate school and was 23-years-old. This was back in the 80s. It was thesis time, and I had to type mine on a computer in the Iowa State Department of English computer lab. All the PCs were taken, so I politely asked a woman I didn’t know approximately when she was going to be finished typing. I think I said something like, “Do you have a lot to do? Will you be much longer?” Well, the woman didn’t like that and said, “You can cut the passive aggressive crap. I’ll be done when I’m done.” I was surprised she was so hostile, and thought to myself that she was probably unhappy across the board with her life. Or maybe she was just throwing her weight around. She was a professor, and I was a lowly grad student. Eventually, someone (not the nasty woman) did finish using a PC, and I got on and did what I had to do. I remember I called my best friend Jan and asked her what “passive aggressive” meant. I told her that someone had called me that. She got a kick out of this and said, “It’s when you’re being pushy in a nice way.” O.K., that fit, I thought. I was being a bit pushy, and I was trying to do it in a decent manner. Yesterday, I was at the beauty salon having my hair dyed, and the term “passive aggressive” surfaced in a big way. A stylist was telling the story of how a supposed friend kept telling her, “I can’t believe you’re a mo...
Source: World of Psychology - Category: Psychiatry & Psychology Authors: Tags: Agitation Anger Holiday Coping Personal Personality Violence and Aggression Family Arguments Family Gatherings Insecurity Passive Aggression Passive Aggressive Rude Behavior Source Type: blogs