How to Deal with Covert Narcissist (Or ‘ Victim ’ ) Parents or In-Laws

An overt narcissist is someone who openly states, “I’m great, I only deserve the best, nobody is as great as me,” and so forth. They are fairly easy to spot. A covert narcissist is different. Everything still ends up being all about them, but they never outright say that they feel they deserve special privileges. Instead, they will just subconsciously make everything difficult or impossible for everyone else until they get their way. They often play the “victim” card to excellent effect, getting everyone to do their bidding out of guilt. Some examples are: The parent who is sick or disabled and doesn’t let her child separate in adulthood because s/he needs to take care of the parent. The parent who is “depressed” (with a thriving social life and hobbies) and therefore you need to adhere to her rigid schedule for visits, otherwise she can’t function. The parent who needs to have all holidays at his home because he “can’t travel”. The in-law who makes cutting remarks to you at all occasions but then cries to your spouse that you’re the one who doesn’t like her. Here, I discuss how to cope with parents or in-laws who don’t respect you, and a lot of that post is applicable here. With covert narcissists, though, it can be harder not to blame yourself for the relationship going poorly. People may look in at the relationship from the outside and assume that you aren’t being caring...
Source: World of Psychology - Category: Psychiatry & Psychology Authors: Tags: Bullying Personality Relationships Self-Esteem Self-Help Blame Family Guilt Trip harsh criticism Martyr Narcissism Narcissistic parents Narcissistic Personality Disorder Shame victim Source Type: blogs