Saying goodbye to a patient who ’s your friend

Sometimes, I think that many folks see oncology as an acute care specialty: patients get cancer, get sick, and then they die. There’s an impression that we meet patients only for a moment in time before they are gone forever. But speak to any oncology specialist, and you will see nothing is farther from the truth. While there are those whom we do indeed meet and know for only a short time, there are many others who continue under our care for months and years. Whether in remission or alive with disease, we even have those patients who remain in our clinics for decades. For me, those long established relationships are often the hardest as well. After so many months go by, and we live through remissions and recurrences, we get to know patients as people — celebrating the birthdays of their children or the birth of a grandchild, grieving the loss of their spouse or siblings. We are there for major events beyond those related to cancer. These patients become part of our clinic and, dare I say, our lives, and it is the merging of patient-person-friend where, emotionally, being an oncologist can become quite complicated. Such is the case with Nancy*. She and I met in my first year as an attending. She had ovarian cancer and had seen me for primary treatment. We hit it off right away — I was the same age as her daughter, and her granddaughter was the same age as my firstborn. She would come to clinic elegantly dressed, makeup applied — almost regal. She always sm...
Source: Kevin, M.D. - Medical Weblog - Category: Journals (General) Authors: Tags: Physician Cancer Source Type: blogs