There's Never a Point at Which We Stop Growing

I turn off the lights and close my eyes, only to jump out of bed moments later in search of a specific book. I grab the book, turn the light back on, and climb under the covers again. Three pages and a couple highlighted paragraphs later, I'm searching for my journal and scavenging for the right pen. I crack it open and write a simple sentence... "I'm feeling sad and defeated." I exhale and write a few more lines before rolling to my back and picking up my phone. I check Facebook. I snap a photo of the book and start Instagramming, but I never finish the caption, let alone actually post it. I'm staring at the ceiling, completely unsure if I want to scream or cry or maybe go to the gym. I do none of these things. I want to call my love and listen to him sing me sweet reassurances about life and business, but I don't. I want to take a bath with lavender bubbles and maybe some of my favorite music, but I don't. I want to give up on this day and go to bed, but I don't. It's only 6:30 p.m. I'm pretty sure I could sleep. I could cry until my eyes fail me... and then yes, I could sleep. I could make this day be over. But I don't do any of these things either. Instead, I simply close my eyes and breathe deep. I quiet my mind and allow myself to feel the agony inside. And I feel it with my whole presence, because the years have taught me not to be frightened or anxious about the unsettling inside my soul. Not to be discouraged or doubtful of the boundless darkness that threatens...
Source: Healthy Living - The Huffington Post - Category: Consumer Health News Source Type: news