Falling in love with the heart
An excerpt from Saving Grace: What Patients Teach Their Doctors about Life, Death, and the Balance in Between. In my third year at LSU Medical School, we dove headfirst into full-time patient care, taking required nine-week rotations on internal medicine, pediatrics, obstetrics and gynecology, and general surgery. In the fourth year there were additional mandated
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Falling in love with the heart originally appeared in KevinMD.com. (Source: Kevin, M.D. - Medical Weblog)
Source: Kevin, M.D. - Medical Weblog - October 26, 2022 Category: General Medicine Authors: David Alfery, MD Tags: Physician Cardiology Source Type: blogs
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SacrificeAn ink spilled indigo eveningEliciting icy pricked thoughts Ominously blotched,faintly evilA witch ’s carbonaceous sunset, black catted Distant but wraps its claws aroundYour neck in an instant I ’m not afraid thoughI ’m the prey wanderingNaked in the woodsHoping you ’ll choose meFor your nightly sacrificeEven that would be a blessingKnowing some seer believesI have an ultimate purposeMy shivering flesh a pale feastAnd ritualistically, at least,Not worthless Tinder to a great blazing pyreMy soul bounding betweenSkeletal trees with a herdOf dull-eyed deer 10/25/22 (Source: Buckeye Surgeon)
Source: Buckeye Surgeon - October 25, 2022 Category: Surgery Authors: Jeffrey Parks MD FACS Source Type: blogs
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TiredWe ’re all tired nowEvery soul worn downGnawed to the boneWe work dawn to darkWe don ' t take breaks No one notices the moon On the droned drive homeNo one believes in stars anymoreSo the constellations fall apartThey sound like needled sleetAgainst the windshield glassAll we ever do is build firesAnd melt piles of iceWe remember PrayerBut we ’re done with prayersOur knees hurtAnd we kneel for no oneBut our own noble exhaustions.Nevertheless we don ' t sleep at homeWe save sleeping for the daySo our grayed waking life becomes A dazzling bright dream We can only escapeBy falling asleep fro...
Source: Buckeye Surgeon - October 25, 2022 Category: Surgery Authors: Jeffrey Parks MD FACS Source Type: blogs
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ConspiracyIt ’s all a cosmic conspiracy,I ’m starting to believe,Playing out in an orderly fashion.I think the sun cools into a planetAnd the Earth becomes its moonWhile nebulous dark matterSwirls in spherical intensityUntil it gathers enough energyTo flash as first dawn Everything almost livingIs far away and shining Burning down to the range of vibrancy While some nameless ancestor grandfatherIs now a small black holeExerting calculable forces from afarDrawing me closer and closer10/23/22 (Source: Buckeye Surgeon)
Source: Buckeye Surgeon - October 23, 2022 Category: Surgery Authors: Jeffrey Parks MD FACS Source Type: blogs
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FortressesMy dad built a mansion on the oceanPilons sunk 300 feet for the foundationImpregnable to storms from the GulfUndegreed, pronounces wash “warsh”He made a life for himself He ’s proud of himselfAnd if I ever saw himI ’d tell him so myselfI built a different kind of fortressI take care of patientsI work long into the nightI am the one who suffersTo make things better for othersIf he saw me he would Tell me to stop working so hardMy little girl cut herselfWith a utility knifeBecause of a grade on a testAnd everything else.There are no fortressesWalls never lastThe hurricane is comingTo knock e...
Source: Buckeye Surgeon - October 23, 2022 Category: Surgery Authors: Jeffrey Parks MD FACS Source Type: blogs
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ParanoidI get a little paranoid sometimes.Sometimes it seems like the treesare all looking at mejudging me whispering in the wind along the forest edgewith soughing passivity all the things everyone else knowsI ought not to have doneAutumn quiets those whispers.I see the truth of the matteras they flash orange and yellow.Ominous jaundiced illnessHang dog looksDesperate clinging beautyA silent inchoate mourningThey ’re holding on as long as they canNot their faultProgrammed to releaseIt ’s only biologyIt feels like they ’re tryingto break it to me kindlyMaybe they desire my forgivenessMaybe they d...
Source: Buckeye Surgeon - October 18, 2022 Category: Surgery Authors: Jeffrey Parks MD FACS Source Type: blogs
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EpitaphLet ’s gather around and playA game called epitaph The object of the gameIs to choose a pithy inscriptionFor your headstone withoutUsing any names (especially your own)Or bracketed sets of numbers.How do you answer?What would you say?Something heartfelt and banal like:He loved his family and did his best?An incantation from a witch ' s curse?Maybe your favorite Bible verse?Maybe an inside joke. Something ironic. The last thing you saw, a half drunk gin and tonicI ’ve narrowed my choices down to 3:Currently not available for comment. Please check back laterDrank too much, ate too littl...
Source: Buckeye Surgeon - October 13, 2022 Category: Surgery Authors: Jeffrey Parks MD FACS Source Type: blogs
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Gray DayAnother gray dayClouds sitting low and dourBut that ’s okayWe can still have funYou be the flowerAnd I ' ll be the sun10/12/22 (Source: Buckeye Surgeon)
Source: Buckeye Surgeon - October 12, 2022 Category: Surgery Authors: Jeffrey Parks MD FACS Source Type: blogs
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The MiserTo a certain extentThe miser is one to be pitied.Grew up poor, never had any moneyAnd now he doesn ’t know What to do with his riches.He puts it all in one placeAnd watches it.The squalor ofstacks of golden coins.He doesn ’t lend it or give any awayNor does he spend it on himself.Dresses in unfashionable ragsDisdains the pretensions of nobilityLuxury he abhorsHe drives a used FordHe hoards it for when he may need itRemembering what it feels like to need.The same could be said for the lonesome boyWho grows up to find himselfSuddenly a man, bursting at the seamWith untapped reservoirsOf unused love10/...
Source: Buckeye Surgeon - October 11, 2022 Category: Surgery Authors: Jeffrey Parks MD FACS Source Type: blogs
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Hiding MoonIt was a full moon morningAlbeit obscured by taperingClouds ink-spilled across the skyLike a silhouetted witches broomLike an ingenue hiding Coyly behind her splayed fingersSeemed like such a wasteAll that dazzling deep yellow lightI wanted to see itIn all its rounded completenessI wanted to have it allIn the hour before the sun risesBut once again I missedWhat was trying to be seenLook, how eerie the lovely skyHow spectral the wispy cloudsHow generous the moon10/10/22 (Source: Buckeye Surgeon)
Source: Buckeye Surgeon - October 11, 2022 Category: Surgery Authors: Jeffrey Parks MD FACS Source Type: blogs
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Honest AirThe air is crisp and cold again,Has lost its languid indeterminacy.Here, we can be honest again.No more distracting small talk,Sharing a sultry August airWarmed by our feral lungs.No more dawdling in fieldsPretending we have all summer To figure it all outHonking geese fleeingSouth, squirrels gatheringNuts, trees reclaiming their peripheral Green, a world in a rush to finish up,To store up all that ’s left Before the first frost calcifiesOur living ground to cold bone And ices to stillness the arterial flowOf our shallow brown river.Each breath now is a stinging Rebuke of fri...
Source: Buckeye Surgeon - October 9, 2022 Category: Surgery Authors: Jeffrey Parks MD FACS Source Type: blogs
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Anger StoneThe counselor assigned my sonThe task of drawing what he wasFeeling on a rounded gray stoneMy boy filled it with indecipherableOrange etchings like an ancient Aztec relicI tried to translate his glyphsInto a rune that unlockedThe loving gentleness of his heartI held it to my ear like a shellAnd I could hear the ghostly Bellow of my stern thwarted GrandpaIt smelled like the emptinessOf my dad ’s old closet I placed it against the tip of my tongueOnly to taste hints of the hardFeast that could be the rest of my life I held it close before my eyesHoping to find the faint outlineOf the shape m...
Source: Buckeye Surgeon - September 27, 2022 Category: Surgery Authors: Jeffrey Parks MD FACS Source Type: blogs
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A Little DeathYou ever wonder why leaves seem mostBeautiful in the fall? It isn ’t just the colorBut the fact they have a little death in themNow, though soft and rippling in breezesStill attached to rooted living treesBut starting to show hints of the end In splashes of amber, orange and red Even when they fall, they waltz downUnselfconsciously like grandparents At weddings just taking their time Soaking up every note of the song Only when rusted brown and desiccatedTo a crust do they start to lose our interest,Become an unsightly speckled lawn rash,Detritus to rake to the curb like trashS...
Source: Buckeye Surgeon - September 25, 2022 Category: Surgery Authors: Jeffrey Parks MD FACS Source Type: blogs
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A NarrowingThe break of dawn is a narrowingOf perception. All that remainsOf the firmament are a couple of starsAnd a chalked wisp of moonBy noon there ’s just too much lightAnd the universe hides. This smallplace, which isn ’t even a star to Anyone else in the rest of the cosmos,Becomes, for us, the entirety.This world becomes enoughLove is the light that makesJust one person enough The higher the apex of its sunThe more singular is this universe 9/21/22 (Source: Buckeye Surgeon)
Source: Buckeye Surgeon - September 21, 2022 Category: Surgery Authors: Jeffrey Parks MD FACS Source Type: blogs
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Last ThingLast thing I writeNo one will readLast thing I holdNo one will saveLast thing I sayNo one will replyLast thing I seeWon ’t be noticedBy anyone but me Last thing I hear Dies to the silenceQuivering in my earLast thing I feelWon ’t get shared Last thing I thinkNo one will ever knowLast time we spokeLast time we touchedLast time we kissed.When you ' re lovedThere is the ache Of incomplete knowingIt ’s a special kind of suffering.This mourning of the missing And when I ’m finally goneI leave behind a wondering 9/21/22 (Source: Buckeye Surgeon)
Source: Buckeye Surgeon - September 21, 2022 Category: Surgery Authors: Jeffrey Parks MD FACS Source Type: blogs
