Poem
#14You say my poems are all so dark,Devoid of light or hope or positivity,Rendering this transactional worldAs revenge, as forced reciprocity.Ok, I ’ll try again.I ’ll remove that metaphor And show you my son.Instead of a rhyme I ’ll peel this orangeAnd take my damn time.The juice that squirts you in the eyeCould have been avoidedWith a much closer reading.That citric sere is the same painOf looking up at a solar eclipse.I can strip it all down,Naked and raw and bare.No more showing the windBy the tremoring of leaves in the trees.That thing you know as breezeIs just the ever present Stilln...
Source: Buckeye Surgeon - June 1, 2020 Category: Surgery Authors: Jeffrey Parks MD FACS Source Type: blogs

poem
Perfect SandwichAs a boy I had a very peculiar approachTo the eating of my salami and cheese sandwiches:Start on the perimeter and suffer through the crust,Then an inward spiral to the middle.The goal was to save the thickest, meatiestBite for last, to be savored.  Things were supposed to always get better.That was the natural progression:Sadness, suffering, dutiful prep workAnd then a flourishing of flavor and satisfaction.The problem was it always culminated in anti climax;It never ended the way I hoped.It wasn ’t fair to those pitiful school lunch sandwichesI had meticulously made myselfBefore the school...
Source: Buckeye Surgeon - May 26, 2020 Category: Surgery Authors: Jeffrey Parks MD FACS Source Type: blogs

poem
MasksWe all should wear the mask,To filter the things we cannot see.Not so much to keep things outBut to corral what tries to flee.I aim to protect others from foul exhalation.I try to be a good citizen,Averse to the idea of contaminating others;We are all responsible for our own pollution.I am running my errands under the guise of cloth;Grocery store, dry cleaners, gas station.You can only see my eyes,This furtive silence is a new banditry,Passing coins and cards under plexiglass shields.I enjoy not being seen in plain sight.The dead air trapped in front of my faceIs warm fetid discomfort, but mine alone.Anonymous sufferi...
Source: Buckeye Surgeon - May 23, 2020 Category: Surgery Authors: Jeffrey Parks MD FACS Source Type: blogs

Poem
MirrorsWhen you ’re dead insideYou almost need to see the blood flowTo know it isn't so.When your skin can't breathe,Encased in this thin carapace,There ’s an urge to pierceThe merely conceptual shellWith this non abstract knife orA broken shard of glass or,If that ’s too extreme,A direct pointed question,A query that echoes aroundA fun house Hall of MirrorsWhere it ’s just me and me and me In every twist I turn until,Like a word said over and over,(banana banana banana …)It loses all meaning,Reflections become being,Existence a warped horror-showOf comforting episodic sound,(break the g...
Source: Buckeye Surgeon - May 17, 2020 Category: Surgery Authors: Jeffrey Parks MD FACS Source Type: blogs

Poem
Red TulipsI think I would have turnedOut the same no matter what;Dad or no dad,Broken home or whole,Happy mom, bitter broken soul.In the end I don ’t feel any of it really mattered.Father, mother, sister, brother;They just wandered in one nightFrom the alley shadows of memory.I didn'thaveto put them all on stage,Give them parts in my own private play.I have reached the age of no longer caringAbout finely crafted back stories:Turning points, betrayals and asking who ’s to blame.Every family fragments with the passage of time.Sifted through the sieve of individual lives,Sometimes it's the only way kinship survive...
Source: Buckeye Surgeon - May 13, 2020 Category: Surgery Authors: Jeffrey Parks MD FACS Source Type: blogs

poem
CandlesScented candles are popular for lots of reasons.Everyone has a few; in closets, in cupboards,Waiting patiently on bedroom dressers.Some like the pungent waft of fragrance.Others the quivering light in a darkened roomDuring a storm when the power goes out.I prefer the gray trail of smokeThat languidly spirals awayFrom the black dead wickOnce you blow it outLike a snake easing through the grassIn its perfectly natural inexplicable wayOr a sensuous woman who has mastered the artOf walking away, seemingly obliviousTo the sense of being watched,The smoke that never looks back.5/10/20 (Source: Buckeye Surgeon)
Source: Buckeye Surgeon - May 10, 2020 Category: Surgery Authors: Jeffrey Parks MD FACS Source Type: blogs

poem
InsomniaInsomniac, sleepless nights.I can ’t snooze in the glare of the cave.What I need is the darkness in the heart of the sun.This pillow is much too hard.I seek the softness of a bed of rock,The silence of a passing train,The ear splitting din of the bottom of the pool.I want to grasp the emptiness of loveThat spills from the cup of abandonment.I want to hold the universe in one clenched fist,Distribute this grain of grace to every last soul.I am the son of childless parentsWho believe in the fecundity of barren wombs.This restless world, this gloaming without GodBecomes the soporific stillness of the holy dawn.5...
Source: Buckeye Surgeon - May 9, 2020 Category: Surgery Authors: Jeffrey Parks MD FACS Source Type: blogs

Poem
ReceiptMy dad used to always show me the receipts;Birthday gifts, hotel and restaurant bills.He liked to show how much he ’d spentAs if the rows and columns of numbers meantAll the important things could be counted.But numbers don't mean much when you ’re nine or ten.It takes a while to understand how much things cost.You just know that something is given and something is owed,That all things have a priceAnd payment is due even when the cherished things are lost.One time I needed envelopes last minuteFor the Valentine ’s Day party at school.We stopped at a drugstore but all they had Left was a giant ...
Source: Buckeye Surgeon - May 6, 2020 Category: Surgery Authors: Jeffrey Parks MD FACS Source Type: blogs

Poem
#12A poem always starts from a flash of color out of the corner of your eye. Then a mad scramble for a pen, some scraps of paper. Close your eyes, the racing heart, the do or die or missing it altogether. So the words come like pieces of a puzzle lost under cushions. Piece it back together again. Pastiche. Collage. It fades fast. And there always comes a point in a poem where you lose the scent. Not sure where you ’re going, nor what it was supposed to have meant. It can’t be avoided. If you don’t get here you haven’t gone in deep enough. If you get stuck, then crumple it up. It may have just been ...
Source: Buckeye Surgeon - April 16, 2020 Category: Surgery Authors: Jeffrey Parks MD FACS Source Type: blogs

poem
InfestedBackyard lined with dying trees, The lifeblood sucked out, devouredBy the bronze birch borer disease.The leaves don ’t comeAnymore and the shade they castIs no longer the deep blue cooling canopy;Stick-like slashes of blackHatchings across the grass.The storms come, strong windsSnap the distressed branches.I am left to fetch fallen Fragments, pieces, alone, the next day.Piles and piles of rotted brokennessStacked to dry out in future suns;Kindling for an indeterminate blaze.Now is the time to thicken your bark,Reinforce the shields that have thinned.You can ’t afford to look away or yield;Even...
Source: Buckeye Surgeon - April 11, 2020 Category: Surgery Authors: Jeffrey Parks MD FACS Source Type: blogs

poem
Lost at SeaTrapped in this houseI can feel lost at sea,Capsized from my couchBy a sudden mid-Atlantic tempest.The hours are equatorial doldrumsIn which I pace and ponder and nothing gets done.There is a scurvy resurgent that even oranges can ’t sate.The mind reels and the bones too easily break.Does the wave even see the shore?Is it worried about what ’s coming?Or is this just me seeing a waveFrom a porthole in my homeUnfurling itself in rhythmic driftBefore it falls over in a splash of foam?The wave is the one that swimsWhile I am the flailing white froth:I should have seen the rocks before the cliffs.4/11/20 ...
Source: Buckeye Surgeon - April 11, 2020 Category: Surgery Authors: Jeffrey Parks MD FACS Source Type: blogs

poem
ThirstI denied my desire to drinkOnce I realized thirstCould not be quenched.Instead I set asideSmall cups of waterTo coat my brittle lipsBefore they cracked and bled.Tiny room with a desk,Small spiral ring notebooks,Dense with cramped script.Small portions had always been enoughTo keep me fed:The things I can gripAnd carry when I fled.I dead-ended deep in a forestUp against cliffs of shale and slateSponged with moisture,So swollen they dripped Brackish water onto my head.And the moss cushioned my weight.I have always been mostly waterAnd water never gets wet.All the cups must be tipped.The beaded puddles that spreadA...
Source: Buckeye Surgeon - March 28, 2020 Category: Surgery Authors: Jeffrey Parks MD FACS Source Type: blogs

poem
Self IsolationIt once seemedSo far away---Wuhan, hazmatWhite tents, N95 masks---But now it ’s here,It ’s everywhere,And not just a meme.This time virus goes viral.The numbers trickled in and thenpopped.We ’re scrolling our phones and laptops.Small cliques, family clustersScattered from great gatherings.Drink plenty of waterCheck for feverWash your handsGet caught up on your sleep.Read Boccaccio andAvoid the din of voices.For the longest time,I guess,I've been practicing for this moment.Well versed in the art of social distancing.Judicious isolation---- not alone.It ’s always been an actOf self prese...
Source: Buckeye Surgeon - March 14, 2020 Category: Surgery Authors: Jeffrey Parks MD FACS Source Type: blogs

Poem
CabinI dream lately of a cabin in the north woods.Somehow I had built it myselfUnskilled as I am;Modest, humble, unadorned.Gray slatted wood, shingled roof,A helix of smoke from the chimney,My dog half awake on the narrow front porch.I ’d have my books, my papers, my pens.All the time I had left, simply unspooledIn a repeat loop of sighs and shivers.There was a mountain stream down the hill in backAnd plenty of berries and nuts.One day I ’d see her coming through the treesNot some random hiker buther.For she had been searching for me.She had pieced together the route from Scraps of poems and fragments of l...
Source: Buckeye Surgeon - February 29, 2020 Category: Surgery Authors: Jeffrey Parks MD FACS Source Type: blogs

poem
Late SnowIt was a rough damaging winter,Enough to leave marksThat the warmth of Spring won't easily smooth over.Sometimes a March snowIs the soft white salve neededFor the first phase of healing.All those muddied rutted tracksIn the yard where carsVeered off course And churned the grass.It isn ’t a blanketing blizzard,Just a light gauze dressing(Likely to melt by late afternoon)To cover the shallow woundsBefore the real work of repair begins.Shovels and boots and rakes,Sweating under a hot May sun.I ’ll have to run to the nursery for seed.2/28/20 (Source: Buckeye Surgeon)
Source: Buckeye Surgeon - February 28, 2020 Category: Surgery Authors: Jeffrey Parks MD FACS Source Type: blogs

Poem
ElementalDust and leaves swirled around my feetIn the middle of a summer cyclone.My body was buffeted but I hardly swayedFor even the wind ignores the likes of me.I went for a morning swim in the big surfOff an abandoned beach,After everyone else had joined the evacuation,But the roiling ocean refused to get me wet.When the house was burning downI doused myself in gasolineBut couldn ’t feel the heatWhile dazed gray ash fluttered against my face.In the middle of the earthquakeI was the only thing that didn ’t shakeWhile the walls all collapsedAnd the sidewalks cracked.For I was the faultAnd the eye of the hurric...
Source: Buckeye Surgeon - February 17, 2020 Category: Surgery Authors: Jeffrey Parks MD FACS Source Type: blogs

Poem
TemplateGallbladder socked in like a bullet in bark.Liver left cupped where I carved it out.Oozes and seeps from the raw surfaceBut I have tricks for that.Put it in a bag.Pull it out.Plop it in formalin.It ’s not a story to tellAround the dinner table when your Wife and kids ask, “how was your day?”(Actually just the wife,The kids have other things to say).You can ’t take it homeOr display it on the mantel,Not even the yellowed corn kernel stones.Rinse it out.Close her all up.Dictate what you didBefore the details dissolveIn the solvent of repetition.You ’ll never come roundtheseparts aga...
Source: Buckeye Surgeon - February 6, 2020 Category: Surgery Authors: Jeffrey Parks MD FACS Source Type: blogs

Poem
OrphansEstrangement is worse than being an orphan.All the missed Christmases,The empty seats,The cards in the mail,Social media stalkingMy how she ’s aged.Righteous rage is alwaysFollowed by a funereal silence.Ostracization, ex communication,Exile to the realm of the wronged. Church doors locked, Keep your hands out of the holy water.An orphan was never rejected;His parents are just dead.A blurred picture of mom in a locket,Dad ’s cologne, that last trip to Hilton Head.It ’s worse this way,The living undead absence Of your mom or your dad.Maybe you ’re just waiting For the sad ne...
Source: Buckeye Surgeon - February 6, 2020 Category: Surgery Authors: Jeffrey Parks MD FACS Source Type: blogs

poem
Decorative ChairThere ’s a lone decorative chair over thereAgainst a wall, facing another wall;Flanked by a skinny non-committal table displaying A framed piece of objet d ’art,Faux wood etched with a scripted “Love Lives Here”.But no one loves this chair.No one ever sits there,To read, to sip some  teaOr to wait for someone to find their keys.Austere gray-green velvety skinStretched taut over a meager thinCushion, armless, propped on peggish mahogany legs,Uninviting, forlorn, don ’t bother;You ’d be better off just leaning against the wall.The back seems to lean forwardAs if i...
Source: Buckeye Surgeon - January 13, 2020 Category: Surgery Authors: Jeffrey Parks MD FACS Source Type: blogs

Poem
The FenceI want to be in a story where the good guys win in the endWhere the words get smudged by my tearsBut you can still tell what they mean.I like when there is a line break between paragraphs,Wide margins down the sides of text like promenadesWhere I can leisurely stroll, leave my scraps Of inscrutable insight for whoever reads it next.Better yet, to remain frozen in a poemThat few will ever readLike a fly in yellow amberBuried in the groundOr lost on a dusty museum shelf.Either way, a form permanently captured.In a poem, no one ever wins.The good guys end up sort of badAccording to the rules of enjambmentAnd the...
Source: Buckeye Surgeon - January 1, 2020 Category: Surgery Authors: Jeffrey Parks MD FACS Source Type: blogs

poem
UnfinishedI loved my boyhood unfinished basementGray stained floor, smooth ass cementThe rising red metal jacks propping up the beamsUnchanged from the day it was bornUnheated, unwalledThe deep dank reek of kitty litter and moldThe girls would spin round and around the stanchionsKid palms squeak ratcheting Ring around the rosies ring around the All fall down.We didn ’t have drywall or drop ceilings,No halogenated mother-in law suites.No slatted registers to keep out the deep damp cold.I ’d make a rink out of the floorLimned by cardboard boxes and cratesSliding over a taped blue line in socked feet,Bro...
Source: Buckeye Surgeon - December 29, 2019 Category: Surgery Authors: Jeffrey Parks MD FACS Source Type: blogs

poem
SagesThe philosophical sages say a little bit of sufferingGives those respites of joy a deeper meaning.But I am unhappyallof the time.I wouldliketo be unhappy only some of the timeOr at least not all the damn time.And the deeper I fall into sorrowThe less I even realizewhat the word "unhappy" means.Yin and yang, you see,Black is only “black” in the context of white,That regal pine is only “tall” amidst a grove of smaller trees.Just like if you were happy and contentallof the timeYou wouldn ’t know it, you might even get bored.Which is why I always thought the theological sages ridicu...
Source: Buckeye Surgeon - December 20, 2019 Category: Surgery Authors: Jeffrey Parks MD FACS Source Type: blogs

Poem
#10All poems are to some extent derivative:Other poets, better written rhymes,Real life, just the things I ’ve noticed.We ’re all just thinking in the pastOr deluded by an conjured future,Clinging to falling snow,Mad rush clutching at the last almond in the bowlIt ’s not a representative sample,All these transient things we choose.It isn ’t fair to all the desultory rest, The noble, mundane hereness of all the in-between:This chair I ’m sitting on.That moon that looks injured.The smudged glass holding my wine;I ’ll probably just drink it anyway.I can ’t say that I really mind...
Source: Buckeye Surgeon - December 12, 2019 Category: Surgery Authors: Jeffrey Parks MD FACS Source Type: blogs

poem
Poem #9Some poems punch you in the gut.Others slap you upside the head.Some trip a wire that triggersa trapdoor dropping you into an abyss.Some are like a deep dive from a tent pole platformInto a tiny bucket of ice water.Some force you to look at your own damn face.Others welcome you to the club.There are nascent poems all over the house;Scraps of paper, recent receipts,Marginalia of half read books, old magazines.Someday I'll gather them all in a pile.Strike a match.A collage of a life Of long hot showers,Sunday bottles of wine,Hallway pacings, fingers to lips,Back and forth lawn mower laps.It all seemed so importan...
Source: Buckeye Surgeon - December 5, 2019 Category: Surgery Authors: Jeffrey Parks MD FACS Source Type: blogs

Poem
CatechismThe sound of laughter in a churchInterrupting the silence is the sign of a religion I can get behind.I want to heckle the pastorWhen he trips over his tongue,Confuses the proverbs with parables.I want the incense to smell like urinals,The stained glass to shatterSo all the air can get in,Flowers and weeds and trash:I always have pockets full of stones.The sermon is now a stand-up routineOn how not to rattle the bones.It ’s all a busted-up, sinking shipAnd you ’re clinging to this last raftLearning once again how to laugh.12/2/19 (Source: Buckeye Surgeon)
Source: Buckeye Surgeon - December 4, 2019 Category: Surgery Authors: Jeffrey Parks MD FACS Source Type: blogs

Poem
GrimHow do we show courage in a time of laughter?The same way we snicker before the doctordelivers his grim practiced monologue.Before we cough blood there is a rasp of a laugh.Before we speak ill of the dead there is a tickle in the back of your throat.I know how to make her laugh;Under her arms, between her rib slats,A pantomime of my own unenviable decline.Falling face down.Everything is funny and just fine.The first wave of the army is hardened by rows of wry grins,Belying whites of eyes the enemy always mistakes for fear.12/2/19 (Source: Buckeye Surgeon)
Source: Buckeye Surgeon - December 3, 2019 Category: Surgery Authors: Jeffrey Parks MD FACS Source Type: blogs

poem
AirBe good and strong my dearThis is only one such day.The suchness of days lends life its strangenessBe strong and watchful and pay attention.Listen to the wind the way you wouldWhen a lover whispers in your earAt the crowded cocktail partyYou never meant to attend.Cup your hand around his lips to hear,Crane your neck into the shadows of his voice.Words are just souls carried along by air.Listen to him breathe when he sleepsNotice his chest rising and fallingIt ’s ok to breathe, it’s ok to go back to sleep.Go running in the early frigid morning.Every smoky wisp of exhalation is unique,Like each falling flake.F...
Source: Buckeye Surgeon - December 1, 2019 Category: Surgery Authors: Jeffrey Parks MD FACS Source Type: blogs

Poem
Warning Alarms are going offThe lights are all strobing Municipal sirens wailingA skein of geese is honkingAs they fly low over my back deck.The warnings are all around us;It ’s a widespread global panic.That time the engines went out on my planeHalfway out over the North AtlanticThe flames flickering from the port side wingThe sudden thousand foot dropStewards collapsed crying in the galleyThe seas rising to meet usLooping around back to GanderIcebergs and not enough dinghiesIt ’s hard to get the count just rightA vast underestimation Of the effects of gravityOf the full steam ahead on the Titan...
Source: Buckeye Surgeon - November 23, 2019 Category: Surgery Authors: Jeffrey Parks MD FACS Source Type: blogs

Poem
BreatheBetween cases I looked out the great highway-facing windowsTo the see my swaying grasses againIn the swale by the overpass.But there was a stillness instead.The wind had died.The world was out of breath.All this churn and struggle,The constant motion to and fro.Lone leafless tree erupting from the ground like a clawClutching the exceptional nothingness.You want to fill its branches with blossoms and nests.I position a mirror before my face to see it fogI check to see if my chest still rises and falls.It rises and falls,Yes, it rises and falls.11/18/19 (Source: Buckeye Surgeon)
Source: Buckeye Surgeon - November 18, 2019 Category: Surgery Authors: Jeffrey Parks MD FACS Source Type: blogs

Poem
Still LifeYou can be the guy who stares at the wallsLights dimmedCeiling fan spinsCounting down the visions of wrong decisionsWho cranks up the AC in summerWith a blanket wrapped around his shouldersLooks out the window and waits for the fallOrange leavesOranges in a bowlCezanne still lifeFrozen in timeUnmoved by pain or strifeThe only thing that changes is the lightWhich changes everythingMorning, noon and nightThe frosting of dustOn the domes of softening fruitYou can be the guy who waits for the shadowsTo wrap around the orbsDrag them into the pits of hellLike demonsThe guy who stares at the wallsAnd counts to himselfTh...
Source: Buckeye Surgeon - November 16, 2019 Category: Surgery Authors: Jeffrey Parks MD FACS Source Type: blogs

Poem
#8You always make a note of the benchmarks and milestonesAnniversaries, first date, first kissThe first time I spent the night.Dates and timesPlaces, major eventsYour lodestars and handholdsRecorded for your own private posterity.You write things down,Make marks on calendars.I recall them too, with prompting(I ’m not some daft ass)But you have to remind me. You have to tell me the details,The color of the carpet,The Cabernet or Merlot,The broken up guy in the untucked button downHe ’s too old to be out with those kids.The amber glint of light in your hairIn this heretofore shadowed place.How the corners o...
Source: Buckeye Surgeon - November 16, 2019 Category: Surgery Authors: Jeffrey Parks MD FACS Source Type: blogs

Poem
The HerniaHow did I get it doc, they always askWhat did I do wrong?Hard to know I always say.Maybe you coughed.That log you lifted.Blame the foreman, blame your father.More likely you didn ’t do anything at all.The ultimate etiology remains in ambiguityBecause it isn ’t anything at allIt ’s just a hole, a gap in your continuityAn absence that becomes a weaknessRipe for attackYour empty spaces always get filledSome how, some waySometimes with the things we don ’t need,The things that hurt11/16/19 (Source: Buckeye Surgeon)
Source: Buckeye Surgeon - November 16, 2019 Category: Surgery Authors: Jeffrey Parks MD FACS Source Type: blogs

Poem
FallenThe leaves sure know how to die.They got it figured out all right.Lighting themselves on fireIn a last-gasp mass immolation,a conflagration of orange red yellowsplashed across the barren browns of autumn.The flickering embers of dying firesEveryone thinks it ’s a final flourish,A man in full near the end.He found his wayAfter so many twists and turns He found his wayAfter so many wrong turnsBut they ’ve been choking for weeks,Siphoned of life by the treesWhen the chlorophyll gets cut off.They ’ve already extracted all the fuel they needTo survive the long winter.Enough in nature is always enoug...
Source: Buckeye Surgeon - November 10, 2019 Category: Surgery Authors: Jeffrey Parks MD FACS Source Type: blogs

Poem, dumb
...welcome to the meta worldI'm operating in order to operateI'm speaking in order to speakTyping  in order to form wordsspeak speak, it's just another form of formof words that can be heard or readeat, sleep sex work sex normi am living a life that is normalas a person who feels abnormalthis is normal ok?I am telling myself to tell myself thatthis is normal ok?  ok? as I think about thinking abouthow far I fall shortof normal or saneas I look back on this life lived as I am living itas i check box scorescheck my ratingsmy self assessmentsmy satisfaction scoresI am no goodnot as good as i hoped to bei am def...
Source: Buckeye Surgeon - November 5, 2019 Category: Surgery Authors: Jeffrey Parks MD FACS Source Type: blogs

Sunday poem
StagedA life spent on squared off stagesBrightly lit, glassed hair salonsKitchens, conference rooms, coffee shops.Everyone gets watched.It ’s always such a performanceTouch up, tummy tucks, airbrushedI ’d rather be off stageIn the shadowsCloaked by velvet curtainsCutting unwieldy curls by feelIn the dark recesses of the few. Here we know to whisper,Lined faces bruised or shadowed.We ’re all ready for our cue;Unkempt, unlit, unscripted.10/22/19 (Source: Buckeye Surgeon)
Source: Buckeye Surgeon - October 27, 2019 Category: Surgery Authors: Jeffrey Parks MD FACS Source Type: blogs

Poem
#7This poem won ’t fix everything.It won ’t make it hurt any less.The wound will heal at its own paceRinse, clean white gauze, wet to dry.Eat well, nutrition, restSleep when the sun sets.It takes time.You must fill this empty spaceWith words and lines While you wait.  Those old jagged scarsAre markers of timeThe spaced minutesOn a clock ’s faceThe hash marks etched Into the gray wall of your solitary cell10/3/19 (Source: Buckeye Surgeon)
Source: Buckeye Surgeon - October 3, 2019 Category: Surgery Authors: Jeffrey Parks MD FACS Source Type: blogs

poem
Gross AnatomyThe first day of gross labI unzipped the canvas drapeAnd there was my own pale face,Those vacant lifeless eyes.I shouldn ’t have been surprised. After all it was my own choiceTo donate this body to science.It ’s right there on my license.And so I went about the unseemly business;Icutmyself by my own hand,Opened this shell for all to see.Who ever learned anything Without a little self harm?It sounds so awful but No one sounded the alarm.This is all on the up and up.  I ’m here to helpI ’m here to educate,Myself, most of all.This is the day I finally get to look i...
Source: Buckeye Surgeon - September 20, 2019 Category: Surgery Authors: Jeffrey Parks MD FACS Source Type: blogs

sunday poem
Sisyphus“To decide whether life is worth living is the fundamental question of philosophy ”-Albert CamusCamus knew how to questionThe nagging vexations.He never found an answer.The best he could do was a method;Pushing massive bouldersUp and down a steep hillDay after day after day until the end.Sweating, straining under the weight,Somehow still smiling,Grinning at the absurdity of his fate.You can close your eyesand imagine him happy.You can also open your eyesAnd judge that he was dumb.I too embrace the absurd:Another night of callEvery other weekendDays and times blurred.Another gangrenous gallbladderBusted ...
Source: Buckeye Surgeon - September 15, 2019 Category: Surgery Authors: Jeffrey Parks MD FACS Source Type: blogs

Poem
Good BoyI was always a good boy.I did what I was toldFinished my workGot those gradesKept my head downAnd I wasn ’t too bold,Didn ’t make a scene.“Don't waste that brain,Don ’t make me ashamed”HushSit downRoll overFetch me that stickGood boy.That ’s a good boy.But I eventually got aroundto becoming a manand I made a few scenesand wasted a bit of my brainand lived for lengths of shame.I swirled around the drainBut somehow bobbed to the surfaceLike flotsam after the storm.Now I have a little one of my own.He doesn ’t listen to what I say,thinks he'll figure it out all alone.He wants ...
Source: Buckeye Surgeon - September 11, 2019 Category: Surgery Authors: Jeffrey Parks MD FACS Source Type: blogs

Poem sunday
Thunder TreeI heard something likeA stray dog's low growlAnd went outside to check.There she was---8 feet up---- in a wretched treeWedged between a cachectic trunk And a scurvied, zig-zagged limb.Hey what ’s with that look on your face?I ’ve seen that look before:The bills are late.Dad didn ’t hear a word you said.The lovely girl across the barChatting up another guy.Passed over at work,Picked last, too short,Passing another whole day unseen,Passing the next unable to hide The things you want to keep inside.The feeling the world won ’t simply unfurlAnymore from within but simply hurtlesFor...
Source: Buckeye Surgeon - September 1, 2019 Category: Surgery Authors: Jeffrey Parks MD FACS Source Type: blogs

poem
SidewalksA neighborhood without sidewalksIs a world unlimned.Staggering along soft shouldersOne leg slanting lower than the other,It ’s dumb and dangerous.Cars honking, swervingYou can't trust your fellow manOn the arbitrary grids he ’s laid outIn the darkYou leap into the boggy ditch.Beyond the ditch is a rising plain,But it ’s just a yardGoose-bumped grass iced in frostLike it ’s afraid of the darkA lawn bounded by another.Homes and fences.It all belongs to someone else.Stick to the road.But this old road is no good.This road just goes into townWhich is just a place To pour out the asphaltAnd...
Source: Buckeye Surgeon - August 12, 2019 Category: Surgery Authors: Jeffrey Parks MD FACS Source Type: blogs

poem
Poem #6This one doesn ’t have to be about sickness.I don't need another ode to chromosomesor anaerobic metabolism,a sad dirge about suspicious adrenalomas.I don't want to write anymoreabout the provenance of dark stainson my blue scrubs,the strange odors that linger on my palms.  The post call anguish of alone.Doctor so and so has written another poem.Look, he ’s alluded to lungsThe last gasps of lifeThe fearful wide eyed last days gaze,The true heart that lives in a cage.Must he go on like this?Look he ’s switching gears, he ’s describing a beautiful woman;perhaps he had once operate...
Source: Buckeye Surgeon - August 10, 2019 Category: Surgery Authors: Jeffrey Parks MD FACS Source Type: blogs

poem
LookoutWe passed the carrion, the mangled deer, On side of a bend of the roadThat wended its way up the hillTo a lookout I wanted the kids to seeOoooooooooooooooo, they scream,daddy gross it smells roll up the windowThe rank gamy invasiveness of odor.I wanted them toseethe valley stretching out belowThe mist enshrouded treesThe everlasting timelessness of All that falls below All the unnavigable naturalnessYou ’ll never probably go.But don ’t stand too close to the edgesGoddammit what did I saykidsYou don ’t know enough of the buzzed moss or blotched lichens,the blood against rockin th...
Source: Buckeye Surgeon - August 3, 2019 Category: Surgery Authors: Jeffrey Parks MD FACS Source Type: blogs

poemm
OptimismGlass half fullSipping wine by the pale glowOf a half moon.Those were the good old timesFull circle quarters and silver dimesChange for a tipIt ’s all we had leftHeads or tails,Stay or go,Anyone could love you In a sliver of the bursting June moon;Visage radiant,Freckles like browned pebbles In the bed of a winding streamFlashing in the tree refracted moonlightHalf past four, happy hourslowBut I am the oneYou ’ll love and loatheI am the one to praise and damn,Make your stomach clench Drive you insaneMake everything fall into placeBut I am alsothe one who writes for youwho will find t...
Source: Buckeye Surgeon - July 21, 2019 Category: Surgery Authors: Jeffrey Parks MD FACS Source Type: blogs

Poem
HollowThis is the way it all will endNot with a whimperNor guarded whisperBut a boom clangPan to the floor crash rattleBlast a hole in the drywallBall through the glass bangEverything smashedWhile only on the insideDo the walls crumbleWithout a sound downAnd I'm standing in rubble While I sweepThe shards of glass Poised to piercethe unprepared hideOn the outside7/21/19 (Source: Buckeye Surgeon)
Source: Buckeye Surgeon - July 21, 2019 Category: Surgery Authors: Jeffrey Parks MD FACS Source Type: blogs

Poem
Lone FlowerYou were a flower of ravishing beautycolors of kaleidoscopic complexityshimmering, shadowed, sun-splashedand there you were----- suddenly, standing in the middle of my pathI was halfway homeback bent beneath theweight of time and duty,portents of resignationjust around the next bend.My heart was heavyand my hands were fulland there you were;defiant, singular, untrammeledas if you ’d chosen that spot to bloom for me aloneI stopped and reached for you(Of course) They say the one true flowerblooms but one timefor one manand so I had to stop for you that one timein that one placeand reach f...
Source: Buckeye Surgeon - July 16, 2019 Category: Surgery Authors: Jeffrey Parks MD FACS Source Type: blogs

Poem
FearI saw you post that quote On your Facebook page(Inspirational lavender paisley background,Slantedchallengingitalics)You ’re free to enhance the fontBut the other side of fear Isn ’talwayswhat you want.There are sharks circling in those dark waters.Better to remain in the boatIt isn ’t enough to peg everything on hope.Just stay right hereBide your time and waitI know I'm just talking to myself.You ’ve already dived in andare swimming for shore.The fins are closing fast,I can ’t look.7/16/19 (Source: Buckeye Surgeon)
Source: Buckeye Surgeon - July 16, 2019 Category: Surgery Authors: Jeffrey Parks MD FACS Source Type: blogs

Poem
PondEarly morning placid sheenOf an ovoid pond,shimmery silver steel,a reflective poolin the already hot sun.It ’s lovely and allbut I ’m always worried about the depth.What lurks beneath?How far would I sinkIf I held my breath?Could I touch the bottom?Would I find only darknessAnd lose all orientation?No one can walk across waterAnd I wouldn't try, not even in winter;the cold is no salvation.You can ’t trust the ice To bear the loads I carry7/13/19 (Source: Buckeye Surgeon)
Source: Buckeye Surgeon - July 14, 2019 Category: Surgery Authors: Jeffrey Parks MD FACS Source Type: blogs

ACS surgery thread reply
Discussion Forum regarding recent AMA statement on health care as a human right.  The objectivism trolls had hijacked the thread.  This was my poorly received response:Dear DrX(and those of similar vein)-I must respond to your impassioned excoriation of the idea that healthcare is a "human right" (scare quotes rendered as a show of respect to you) in the name of the dignity of surgeon labor.Your initial salvo is an interesting mashup/admixture of both the Declaration of Independence (We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with...
Source: Buckeye Surgeon - June 16, 2019 Category: Surgery Authors: Jeffrey Parks MD FACS Source Type: blogs

Poem
Of YouDear lovedear youmy lovedear my undying unfoundeddevoted youmy youI miss you a lot and I am thinking of youall of the timeI am thinking of you all the timeall the time I am thinking of youI am thinking as I am thinking of youall ofthe timeI am thinkingand I am thinkingof youall of the one I am thinking ofyouI amI am thinkingnot all of the timenot all of the younot allof the younot allofthe timeI am not thinking. of youthis time6/14/19 (Source: Buckeye Surgeon)
Source: Buckeye Surgeon - June 16, 2019 Category: Surgery Authors: Jeffrey Parks MD FACS Source Type: blogs