8 Summer Excursions for Elders and Their Caregivers
Summer is on its way. This is a time when it’s generally easier for elders to be out and about than when snow and ice are an issue. Even if our loved ones have dementia, severe arthritis, lung issues, or a combination of ailments, there are things we, their caregivers, can do to relieve a sense of being left out of life that can affect people in their situation. Think about the personality of your ailing elders and consider excursions or entertainment that they may enjoy. A short outing of some type can leave a lasting memory, or it can simply mean that there were some enjoyable moments, but either way...
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Source: Minding Our Elders - March 18, 2022 Category: Geriatrics Authors: Carol Bradley Bursack Source Type: blogs
Incontinence from Prostate Cancer Surgery Acceptable Trade-off for John T
John T's family history included a number of men who developed prostate cancer so when he started having issues with dribbling due to bladder leaks, he watched cautiously and eventually sought medical help. His doctor ordered several PSA tests over time and eventually, John began seeing a urologist. He was diagnosed with prostate cancer and had surgery that left him with incontinence issues. No one wants this result, but he's learned to live with his incontinence - with gratitude.
Read John T's story on Egosancares blog for inspiration if you or someone you love may be facing prostate surgery:
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Source: Minding Our Elders - March 17, 2022 Category: Geriatrics Authors: Carol Bradley Bursack Source Type: blogs
Dementia: Staying Positive Despite the Diagnosis
The idea that some people can stay positive after receiving a dementia diagnosis seems surprising to many, yet when faced with adversity we have only two choices — make the best of what is in front of us, or live with negativity. No one is suggesting that living with a positive outlook after being given a diagnosis for any serious disease is easy, but negative thinking is risky for your overall health, while positive thinking has health benefits. Some would say that people who stay positive in the face of chronic or terminal disease are in denial. That is not true. What these positive people understand is that a diagnosi...
Source: Minding Our Elders - March 16, 2022 Category: Geriatrics Authors: Carol Bradley Bursack Source Type: blogs
Getting Into Their Heads: The Advantages of Not Arguing with Someone Who Has Dementia
"Where's my college ring?" This had become Dad's mantra during some months of his early demented years. I knew he hadn't gotten a ring when he graduated from college. His college career was interrupted by World War II, then work and a family. He went back to school during his work career. I, at age fourteen, attended his college graduation. I suppose, with a family to support, he didn't think a college ring was important. He didn't order one. He never owned one. But no way would he believe that now, as a man in his late seventies with heavy-duty dementia. Normally, during his dementia, I just went along with whatever...
Source: Minding Our Elders - March 15, 2022 Category: Geriatrics Authors: Carol Bradley Bursack Source Type: blogs
Responding to Someone with Dementia Who Repeats "I Want to Go Home"
Dear Candid Caregiver (Carol is the Candid Caregiver): My dad is having around-the-clock home care, which was his choice early on when he was diagnosed with Alzheimer's disease. He’s in the later stages now, but he keeps telling his caregivers, including me when I take a shift, that he wants to go home. I read an article that you wrote where you said that asking to go home didn't necessarily mean any particular home, but your comments were directed toward the idea of someone living in a nursing home. Since Dad is in the home where he lived for nearly 40 years, you'd think he'd feel some comfort from that. In fact, that's...
Source: Minding Our Elders - March 14, 2022 Category: Geriatrics Authors: Carol Bradley Bursack Source Type: blogs
In Dementia Caregiving Omitting Unnecessary Facts Can Reflect Compassion
Dear Carol: My mom moved into memory care a couple of years ago but per her wishes, we kept her condominium. Now, her dementia is more advanced, and the cost of her care is forcing us to sell her property. We’ve brought her the personal items she wanted, and she seems content with that. She no longer asks about her property. The problem lies in a disagreement between my brother and me. Do we tell Mom we’re selling the condominium? I say yes because it’s the honest, respectful thing to do, but my brother says no because he thinks that it would upset Mom for no reason. Not telling her seems to be a form of lying. Who...
Source: Minding Our Elders - March 13, 2022 Category: Geriatrics Authors: Carol Bradley Bursack Source Type: blogs
7 Tips for Preserving an Aging Parent's Dignity
Fearing that their aging parents could be injured, caregivers can become nagging nannies who try to stop Dad from working in his beloved shop or Mom from gardening. But insisting that elders avoid all risks can compromise their dignity and joy. So how do you find the right balance of concern and trust?
View the full slideshow on HealthCentral for some tips on helping to preserve your older adult's dignity:
Support a caregiver or jump-start discussion in support groups with real stories - for bulk orders of Minding Our Elders e-mail Carol
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Source: Minding Our Elders - March 12, 2022 Category: Geriatrics Authors: Carol Bradley Bursack Source Type: blogs
The Emotional Impact of Losing a Loved One to Dementia
“Carol!” The hospice nurse’s voice was quiet but urgent. I instinctively knew what was happening. She had been shifting Dad’s position so that he wouldn’t develop bedsores, but as she was laying him back on the bed, something changed in his respiration. This was it. His body was preparing for him to take his last breath. I slid back in my spot beside Dad and took him in my arms. His head drifted to my shoulder and that last, gentle breath slipped by unnoticed by me. What I felt was the positive force of Dad’s spirit leaving his body. And then — joy! Did I just write joy? Yes, I did. What I knew wa...
Source: Minding Our Elders - March 11, 2022 Category: Geriatrics Authors: Carol Bradley Bursack Source Type: blogs
How to Nudge Your Parent Toward Moving to Assisted Living (If that's the best option)
Photo credit Justin Kauffman
Conventional wisdom says that we all want to stay in our own homes for as long as we can. That is likely how most of our elders feel, but it’s not always in their best interest to do so. How do we talk with them about the realities and dangers of staying at home once their health and/or functional abilities decline? How do we convince them that a move to assisted living could benefit their mental and physical health? Aging In Place vs. Assisted Living: Professional in-home care and a medical alert system are sufficient for some seniors to remain at home safely for a time. But if they live alo...
Source: Minding Our Elders - March 10, 2022 Category: Geriatrics Authors: Carol Bradley Bursack Source Type: blogs
Pain and Dementia: Observing Body Language Important When People Can't Articulate Pain
Photo credit Josh Appel
A number of years back, my dad, who had developed dementia after surgery to correct problems from a World War II brain injury, was seized by sudden, horrendous pain. While Dad had to cope with considerable pain from arthritis and some back issues, this was different. I knew his pain was acute and extreme by his body language and vocalizations, even though he couldn't articulate exactly what was wrong. Dad generally had the ability to communicate, though his dementia often skewed the information he was trying to share. However, this pain was more than he could put into words. He was writh...
Source: Minding Our Elders - March 9, 2022 Category: Geriatrics Authors: Carol Bradley Bursack Source Type: blogs
Helping an Elder Leave Behind Their Pet
Dear Candid Caregiver: (Carol is the Candid Caregiver) As far back as I can remember my grandmother has had a dog. For the last 10 years, this dog has been Tippy, a small, male, mixed-breed that has been an ideal companion. The problem is that Grandma is getting less able to care for herself — let alone Tippy — and she is going to need to move to an assisted living facility (ALF). I’ve checked around, and while some local ALFs will let people bring their cats, none locally will allow them to keep a dog because dogs need to be let outside, among other excuses. I’d take Tippy, except my landlord won’t allow d...
Source: Minding Our Elders - March 8, 2022 Category: Geriatrics Authors: Carol Bradley Bursack Source Type: blogs
8 Tips for Choosing a Nursing Home or Assisted Living Facility: A Family ’s View
(Carol is the Candid Caregiver)As a family caregiver of multiple elders, I needed a facility where more than one of my elders could live while I cared for others in various locations. My family was fortunate to find an excellent nursing home just a few blocks from my home. During the 15 years that my loved ones (different people at different times) lived in this facility, I learned a great deal about what makes a good nursing home tick. I interviewed a licensed nursing home administrator for her tips on selecting a nursing home not long ago, but as a family member, I’d like to add a few more ideas...
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Source: Minding Our Elders - March 7, 2022 Category: Geriatrics Authors: Carol Bradley Bursack Source Type: blogs
Deciding How to Respond to Dementia Hallucinations Can Challenge Caregivers
Photo credit Aleksandar Popovski
Dear Carol: My dad, 93, has mixed dementia. Recently, he’s been having hallucinations, but his doctor says that for now there’s no need for medications and I agree. Still, I’d like more guidance. Dad “sees” his wife who died a decade ago. Sometimes he “hears” kids playing and thinks it’s my brother and me when we were young. I’ve just been saying that I hope everyone is having a nice time (I learned that here!). Is that right? I’m probably borrowing trouble, but I'm also wondering if you could give me tips on what to do if he has hallucinations that ups...
Source: Minding Our Elders - March 6, 2022 Category: Geriatrics Authors: Carol Bradley Bursack Source Type: blogs
Letter To Myself: On Becoming a Compassionate Caregiver
You may be expecting a letter to someone else about a caregiving concern. After all, that’s what I usually do. But the following note is actually to myself. I thought it might be helpful to share with you my history of caregiving and the lessons that I’ve learned that are sometimes difficult to apply to myself.
Dear Carol: How could you know that your offer to pick up some groceries for Joe after his wife’s funeral would lead to five years of daily visits? How could you know that you would become his primary caregiver: taking him to the Telephone Pioneers of America dinners, riding...
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Source: Minding Our Elders - March 5, 2022 Category: Geriatrics Authors: Carol Bradley Bursack Source Type: blogs
Tips to Help Spousal Caregivers Through Hard Times
While family members providing care for loved ones share many issues, there’s a different emotional dynamic for spousal caregivers than adult children caring for a parent. Betsy E. Wurzel, spousal caregiver for her husband Matt Sloan, can attest to this. Matt was diagnosed with early-onset Alzheimer’s disease (EOAD), at age 56.
View entire slideshow on HealthCentral for insight into how spousal caregivers make it through the dementia caregiving challenges:
Support a caregiver or jump-start discussion in support groups with real stories - for bulk orders of Minding Our Elders e-mail Carol
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Source: Minding Our Elders - March 4, 2022 Category: Geriatrics Authors: Carol Bradley Bursack Source Type: blogs
