poem
I ' m Living Until I ' m 100So I am fifty nowNothing to panic about Another year closer to godA word I use as a placeholderBut not for the notion of deathThere is no word for what I meanIt ’s another year further from god tooNeither closer nor furtherStill living, sort of slowly dyingLet ’s simply call it breathingHalf inspiringHalf expiredOld enough to have acquired some wisdomYoung enough to still believe it ’s worth anything Half learned Another half to know All of it soon enough forgotten I love you lifeHalf givenThe other half for the taking4/27/23 (Source: Buckeye Surgeon)
Source: Buckeye Surgeon - April 27, 2023 Category: Surgery Authors: Jeffrey Parks MD FACS Source Type: blogs
poem
PetrichorThe smell of the rain after a dry stretchLacquers the mind from the rot of doubtBefore the Greeks ever knew of fungal spores They were able to get a certain truth out Divine blood spilt from split stonesWafts around us in the spring gustsHow strong the heart of stone must beTo squeeze its golden blood through veins of rockEvery wet stone after a storm is a kind of corpseThat tells us this must be the place Where a hardness bled to deathSo that a dying man like you could live4/27/23 (Source: Buckeye Surgeon)
Source: Buckeye Surgeon - April 27, 2023 Category: Surgery Authors: Jeffrey Parks MD FACS Source Type: blogs
poem
Pantheon IArt, the guttural human yelp, an attemptTo warble the lyrical language of the godsBut ignorant of words, without access To any syntax of the celestial tongue Without knowing if they differentiateBetween nouns, adjectives or verbs If they recognize any grammatical constraints If, as gods, they even know themselves as “gods”Nevertheless!We have at it with ourNovels and poems, paintings and sculpturesGnawing at deeper divine scriptures Adorable little toddlers babbling nonsenseAbout our very specialdrawingsOur rictal scribblings, our measly tracingsCrying when mommy doesn ' t payit...
Source: Buckeye Surgeon - April 22, 2023 Category: Surgery Authors: Jeffrey Parks MD FACS Source Type: blogs
poem
Pantheon IIWhen I was a boy it didn ’t take long before I was Eye rolling away from the holy rollers,The stern prophets of the One True GodDabbled uneasily for a while as a nihilist atheistSoftened into a mildly antagonistic agnosticBefore settling into a comfortableMiddle aged disengagement:Let me just live this stupid life, OK?But it never goes awayThose nagging doubtsHow do you ever know for sure?So you hope for detenteA gentleman ' s agreementGive me a little spaceBut don ' t forget me entirelyIt gets all dysfunctionalAs deeply woven relationships tendNo one god could be Everything we needAnd, frankly...
Source: Buckeye Surgeon - April 22, 2023 Category: Surgery Authors: Jeffrey Parks MD FACS Source Type: blogs
poem
Au SableThe summer before residency started in ChicagoI went north to Grayling, Michigan with a backpackAnd the last of a dreamy eyed sociopathic certaintyTo spend a weekend fly fishing on the edgesOf the swift black flat Au Sable river.I thought I had it all won,I ’d played some cards wellParlayed a little luck into a tidy stack That bought me access to higher stakes tables. I was ready to roll the dice and gamble.But first, before sitting down with the high rollersIt was off to the swift black Au Sable river In the summer before the illusions fractured,Before I realized everything I hadBarely cover...
Source: Buckeye Surgeon - April 16, 2023 Category: Surgery Authors: Jeffrey Parks MD FACS Source Type: blogs
poem
Dead GrandmaThe other day I had this gnawing urge to talk to my dead grandma —the one I called “Grandma” when speaking to her and “Grandma Parks” when I was talking to someone else about her. Not my Grandma Izzy, who’s also dead, the one I really liked. My dad’s mom, I’m talking about. I won ' t go so far as to say that I disliked her. She was fine. I mean she was ok. Always there at the holidays. Made a mean lemon pie. Taught us all how to play Skip-Bo. She was just boring as a conversationalist. Droning on and on about her colored pencil pictures. And always with the same boring stories. I reminded ...
Source: Buckeye Surgeon - April 15, 2023 Category: Surgery Authors: Jeffrey Parks MD FACS Source Type: blogs
poem
HaystacksSome mornings the sky is an impressionist painting steeped in violaceous streaks of anxious soft light. I pull over to the shoulder to snap a picture with my phone but the result never quite captures. By the time I get to work the colors have dissolved in the warm yellow orange glow. The sun continues to rise. The day arrives. A painting is an artifact of loss. Museums compendiums of once flickering flames. We swim through the wisps of spiraling smoke. In the darkness we reach for the wicks that are still warm. From memory the artists move their brushes across the canvas. Even the haystacks are dreams. Every...
Source: Buckeye Surgeon - April 9, 2023 Category: Surgery Authors: Jeffrey Parks MD FACS Source Type: blogs
easter poem
Op Note XXXVIIIJust once I ’d like to open up an abdomen and find something unexpected. Utterly unique and unprecedented.. Instead of a liver, a codfish. Instead of a spleen, an antique clock. A giant pair of scissors. A barrette this girl from middle school used to wear in her hair. I’d write a paper about it. Get it acc epted by peer reviewed journals. Present my findings to the International Society of Distinguished Anatomists. Make my bones as an academician. Give talks to passionate coteries of pond side geese. In textbooks it would become known as the Parks Variation of organ system configuration. Every few...
Source: Buckeye Surgeon - April 9, 2023 Category: Surgery Authors: Jeffrey Parks MD FACS Source Type: blogs
poem
The BossI was eleven listening toBorn in the USABlasting from cheap boom box speakers Sprawled out on the skin thin carpetOf my tiny bedroom in Massillon.Even then I knew it wasn ’t an anthem.I ’d read the lyrics, all the songs,Printed on the fold outCassette cover like it was scriptureI was born to run I had a hungry heartI was going to get out of that two-bitDead man ’s town and go racing in the streetsFar away from this hand me down precarityThat tempts most into a docile mediocrityAnd find a reason to believe.Driven by nothing but a desperate hopeAnd an inchoate rage manifesting as tenacity All I ...
Source: Buckeye Surgeon - April 6, 2023 Category: Surgery Authors: Jeffrey Parks MD FACS Source Type: blogs
poem
TonePick that up you don ’t have to say it like that you don’t have to say what’s the matter like that you don’t have to sit on the beach in a chair when the waves roll in like the hands of a clock without any numbers. Just throw yourself on the sand with the rest of the detritus washed up on shore abandoned really if you want to be honest some of it still useful well more interesting than useful like this broken shard of limestone shell pebbled with little bumps radiating out from the focal point probably in some sort of Golden Ratio configuration nature is always finding itself in and you don ' t have to sa...
Source: Buckeye Surgeon - March 25, 2023 Category: Surgery Authors: Jeffrey Parks MD FACS Source Type: blogs
poem
The 12th DraftYou know what? I can ’t go through with it. I take it all back. I retract the apologies spewed in all the other drafts. None of you are absolved. You’re all to blame. It’s all your fault I came this close. I don’t regret the temporary sense of loss I may have inflicted. I’m still here, grinding my teeth, nursi ng hard earned grudges. Do not go on with your lives. Do not remarry. Cancel the meeting with the estate attorney. Stop trying to be strong in the face of untimely tragedy. Do not leave my room untouched. Stop curating your memories. Un-cancel your holiday plans. I’ve spared you the ha...
Source: Buckeye Surgeon - March 22, 2023 Category: Surgery Authors: Jeffrey Parks MD FACS Source Type: blogs
poem
Triage This one has already diedThis one won ’t survive the nightThis one needs a blanketThis one is just sadThis one is fineThis one will liveThis one looks okBut is torn to shreds insideThis one could use a breath mintA change of clothes This one needs a long hot showerSomeone to bring him an extra pillow This one it ’s probably too lateThis one lost me when I tried to look into her eyes This one tries to drown you in her eyes This one needs an IVThis one just needs heldThis one could use a calculus refresherThis one just needs the right book at the right time This one needs a mirr...
Source: Buckeye Surgeon - March 22, 2023 Category: Surgery Authors: Jeffrey Parks MD FACS Source Type: blogs
poem
Lifelong FriendWe spend the bulk of our livesAlone with the personNo one else really knowsThe one who sits with youAs the March snow falls in feathery ashOn the other side of smudged bedroom windowsOver time the distinction between Yourself and this person blurs into one But it ' s only an act of self preservationTo ease the pain of alwaysHaving to say goodbye To your oldest, truest friend Every moment is a secret little deathBut he always comes back to lifeBefore there ’s any time for lamentationSuch private farewells are best deferredUntil the final days when it ’s obviousWe ' ve both come t...
Source: Buckeye Surgeon - March 19, 2023 Category: Surgery Authors: Jeffrey Parks MD FACS Source Type: blogs
poem
The Funeral DisruptorThe funeral disruptor was at it again. Driving his car through the All Saints Cemetery Saturday morning with the windows down, blasting Gangster ’s Paradise. The small groups of people in black gathered around rectangular holes were collectively aghast. He stopped his car at the biggest gathering. He put his sunglasses on and leapt into the grave.Laertes come hither! he shouts, brandishing a broken off broomstick. No one finds it amusing.Hearse rhymes with curse, he shouts. He zig zags evasive maneuvers around a couple of beefy pall bearers and makes his way to his bass thumping car. He does th...
Source: Buckeye Surgeon - March 12, 2023 Category: Surgery Authors: Jeffrey Parks MD FACS Source Type: blogs
poem
From DarknessA photon experiences no timeTrillions of years travelingThe vastness of the universeBut instantaneous. Light of my lifeTiny eternal flame Time arises from darkness Surreptitious moon like a shy boyWatching you shine from the other room In timeless radiance 3/12/23 (Source: Buckeye Surgeon)
Source: Buckeye Surgeon - March 12, 2023 Category: Surgery Authors: Jeffrey Parks MD FACS Source Type: blogs
