poem
SplitI have a hole in my heart that has a hole in itselfBuck shot straight through the chestA broken heart heals; this is worse I keep pouring stuff in and pouring stuff inBut can ’t find any reliefEverything leaks outAll that ’s left is a piercing griefI was once torn between two pathsNow I ’m clean torn in halfPart of me staggers down a road I ’ll have to learn to acceptWhile the other half wanders like a ghostIn the indigo shadows of a dark woodGetting tangled in a life I won ’t knowI hope to be whole againBut grief blurs the visionHere I am, walking just fine on My own two feet, my own two legs...
Source: Buckeye Surgeon - July 17, 2022 Category: Surgery Authors: Jeffrey Parks MD FACS Source Type: blogs
poem
Op Note XXVIIExcisional surgery is fairly simple. Quick case. Twilight anesthesia. Clean, dry, well approximated. For lumps and bumps. Unsightly bulges, infected cysts. The things that don ’t belong. That I can ’t live with anymore. Always reaching around and rubbing it. The dull ache in the middle of my back. The seeping wound in the center of my chest. Extirpate it. Get rid of it. The lump in your throat that no one else can see. But I ’m worried if I cut it out I won’t feel it anymore. That I ’ll start to forget how it felt. Tha...
Source: Buckeye Surgeon - July 17, 2022 Category: Surgery Authors: Jeffrey Parks MD FACS Source Type: blogs
poem
Poem #42Sometimes the poems just keep comingFalling from the skyLike April showersYou can either standIn the garage and watch(Which has its merits)Or go outside and get wetWith all the trees and flowers Catch as many as you canLike fireflies in the summerPut them all in an aerated jarSo for a brief timeYou can saythese are all mine Just don't forget to let them out Before every one dies 7/17/22 (Source: Buckeye Surgeon)
Source: Buckeye Surgeon - July 17, 2022 Category: Surgery Authors: Jeffrey Parks MD FACS Source Type: blogs
poem
The Dead Don't DanceThe old dead trees don ’t move an inchIn the summer gustsAt most a doddering stiffnessThe punch drunk staggerOf an old prize fighterWhile all that whirling curving swayOf green limbered branchesWhooshing in the winds around itThe dead don't hear the musicOnly the living can danceBrushing the dust from the air In billows of undulating rhythm Only the black crows pay me a visitPerched high up on skinny brittle limbsCawing back and forth like estranged sisters The song birds never alight hereOnly scavengers allowedScanning the fields for carrionBefore launching their diving attacksI ...
Source: Buckeye Surgeon - July 14, 2022 Category: Surgery Authors: Jeffrey Parks MD FACS Source Type: blogs
poem
NarcissistI think I ’m pretty interestingSomeone worth getting to knowI ’ll sit and hold your handTry not to let you downI can tell when you ’re sadI pay attention when you speakNot exactlycriminallyunderratedMaybe a blip just off the radarMore a flash in your peripheral visionA rough draft versionOf an eventual revisionYou might tape to the corner of your mirrorI have a few assets. I think I ’m okI think I ’m doing ok. Someday I ’ll ask you if it’s trueBut I ’d never insistNever say it out loudI ’ll leave it here in a poemLest anyone think me a narcissist. 7/12/22 (Source: Buckeye Surgeon)
Source: Buckeye Surgeon - July 11, 2022 Category: Surgery Authors: Jeffrey Parks MD FACS Source Type: blogs
poem
HeavenMy son asked me what heaven was like.For his sake I hope there is one.Not that I ’m expecting to spend much time thereNor do I think I would even want to.I just need to know it existsSomewhere way up there beyond all this.I ’d be content to lay on my backOn the uncut grass on a warm June day Bees buzzing in and out of magnolia bloomsLeaves politely applauding in the light breezeJust gazing upon the blue expanseSlashed with wisps of white clouds like terrible mustachesUntil I was able to suddenly see through The best that reality has to offerAnd understand there ’s something even better—A sanct...
Source: Buckeye Surgeon - July 10, 2022 Category: Surgery Authors: Jeffrey Parks MD FACS Source Type: blogs
poem
GenieMy plan if I ever got my hands on a lampWould be to ask last for three more wishes,The classic cunning ploy of the rascal,The dumb kid who doesn ’t know anythingAbout love or loyalty or friendship,Who'd say it with a conspiratorial smirk.Of course the genie wouldn't dig itA thousand years locked inside bronzeAnd some wiseass is gaming the system.The disappointed disgust on his face would Dissuade anyone from taking advantage.Probably just let him go, never see him again.It ’s another one of the gutting lessons of life:Some people will offer you the worldOr at least everything they have to give And ...
Source: Buckeye Surgeon - July 10, 2022 Category: Surgery Authors: Jeffrey Parks MD FACS Source Type: blogs
poem
Ghost CaveMy mouth is a cave where sounds won ’t echoEven the yelps and wails get muffled I ’m just a hole in a stone wallThat only bores halfway throughWandering down my dead end path whereSilence and darkness have shuffledWon ’t get you to the other sideThere is no side. There was never a wall I am the ghost of absenceI ’m what the universe points toWhen it asks itself what it isn ’t So it knows the extent of all that it is7/9/22 (Source: Buckeye Surgeon)
Source: Buckeye Surgeon - July 9, 2022 Category: Surgery Authors: Jeffrey Parks MD FACS Source Type: blogs
poem
TeagueIn college Teague told meI had to get an identityI was pissedHe ’d seen right through me, pointedlyThat I was a fraudAn emulatorDevoid of substanceA clever fake So I went out and got oneMore my styleA witch's concoctionOf weirdo loner intellectBut then that oneGot a little staleSo it had to goI found anotherChurned through A whole successionOf ill-fitting personasRecycled a few of the oldMeanwhile time passedI did this and thatMade a familyBought a house Someday I ’ll runInto Teague againHow could I forget his shit-eating face?Sit down for a beer, get sousedFrankly, I ’m back to square oneN...
Source: Buckeye Surgeon - July 7, 2022 Category: Surgery Authors: Jeffrey Parks MD FACS Source Type: blogs
poem
Op Note XXVII like to think I ’ve gotten better at this as time goes on. Fifteen years a surgeon, you learn a few tricks. Whip out a gallbladder lickety split. Slide along the planes of action. Spot the hidden vessel. Some cases it ’s almost elegant. But never anything close to art. The best we can get in this gig is mechanical, the cold uncanny beauty of something approximating a machine. Actual machines are never beautiful. Awe inspiring, maybe. Useful. Precise. Remorseless. A hint of indescribable dread. Dogged relentlessness. The perfect soldier, in other words. ...
Source: Buckeye Surgeon - July 5, 2022 Category: Surgery Authors: Jeffrey Parks MD FACS Source Type: blogs
poem
PortholeLove is a portholeIn the giant iron boxWe ’ve all been born into First you find a portalTo see what everyone else sees:This is a treeThere ’s a squirrelThis, we call a streetAll that above is blueWhile below we call green Millions of tiny gapsIn the firmament Of isolated lookingnessGazing out on the worldAgreeing on a languageThat is cold and precise While love is sharing a viewFrom a single small windowWith someone like youWhere I can sayYou know, the grass Today has a purplish hueDusted with splashesOf blooming clover And you touch my handIn a gesture of assent &n...
Source: Buckeye Surgeon - July 3, 2022 Category: Surgery Authors: Jeffrey Parks MD FACS Source Type: blogs
Poem
Van GoghAt the Van Gogh exhibit she Turned to me and asked whyAll the great artists seemed to succumb To madness or suicide.Bruised swaths of despair swirled And looped into skies of trembling flesh.I saw that her forehead had coiled Yellow into a writhing full moon.Everything was vibratingly alive,Walls melting into the floorAnd I was now part of a screenWhere everything played out.Every colorall the formsthat Thom Yorke songI recalled the dive barPacked with squinty-eyed derelictsIn scuffed boots and flannel shirtsWhere we ’d stopped for a cheap drink.We felt like interlopersTrespassing on bur...
Source: Buckeye Surgeon - June 29, 2022 Category: Surgery Authors: Jeffrey Parks MD FACS Source Type: blogs
poem
ReunionBy a fluke of circumstances I was able to meet up for lunch at a trendy downtown brasserie with my past self and future self. We didn ’t know what else to do. Neutral territory, I guess. Have a few drinks. Break the ice. The comfort of knowing there would be a well defined end. Split the bill, I assumed. I certainly wasn ’t inviting them tomyhouse. Act like they owned the place. Drink all my wine. Make fun of my shoes. Try to f. my wife. Golf was out too. Past self played to a 10 handicap but I hadn ’t swung a club in years. Future self didn ’t like his chances, given curr...
Source: Buckeye Surgeon - June 27, 2022 Category: Surgery Authors: Jeffrey Parks MD FACS Source Type: blogs
poem/draft
ReunionBy a fluke of circumstances I was able to meet up for lunch at a trendy downtown brasserie with my past self and future self. We didn ’t know what else to do. Neutral territory, I guess. Have a few drinks. Break the ice. The comfort of knowing there would be a well defined end. Split the bill, I assumed. I certainly wasn ’t inviting them tomyhouse. Act like they owned the place. Drink all my wine. Make fun of my shoes. Try to f. my wife. Golf was out too. Past self played to a 10 handicap but I hadn ’t swung a club in years. Future self didn ’t like his chances, given curr...
Source: Buckeye Surgeon - June 27, 2022 Category: Surgery Authors: Jeffrey Parks MD FACS Source Type: blogs
poem
Lost in TranslationI can ’t sleep anymoreTormented by the possibilitiesOf what Bob whispered to CharlotteAt the end of Lost in TranslationThere ’s a theory he ad libbed the lineTold her he had to be leavingBut wouldn ’t ever let that come between themBut that doesn ’t resolve anythingIt ’s a platitudeHe ’s speaking all sideways TangentiallyToo much like poetryWhen we ask what he saysWhat we really want to knowIs what he ends up doing. I know what he should have said:I love you and cannot leave youAnd need you always hereFrom now until the end of my light While he folds her into his em...
Source: Buckeye Surgeon - June 23, 2022 Category: Surgery Authors: Jeffrey Parks MD FACS Source Type: blogs
