How to Ask For What You Need – Without Guilt

By Sonya Jensen — Of all the hard emotions –anxiety, anger, regret, etc.-- guilt can be one of the most difficult to overcome.  Guilt tells us that what we think, want to do or have done is wrong.  We’ve hurt someone or we’ve screwed up a chance at something. We just plain blew it! That’s what guilt tells us but does that really mean we’ve screwed up?  Our emotions can be what we define them to be. For many of us when we first ask for what we need or set boundaries we often feel guilt…but it could also be growth. When we ask for what we need or say no to something, we’re outgrowing our fear of being too needy. We may be outgrowing our fear of setting boundaries. We may be outgrowing everything we’ve done our whole lives to keep us feeling included, liked or even loved.  Guilt is a healthy emotion to experience when we’ve done something wrong that’s hurt other people. It’s not that we’re bad and will never recover like shame wants us to believe.  However, guilt can be both a sign you’re growing and an opportunity to step back and reflect. If we always assume that guilt is right and we’ve done something wrong we’re likely to repeat old patterns of behavior that keep us locked in cycles that aren’t healthy for us anymore. To know the difference, we have to ask ourselves: Is what I did –asking for what I need or setting a boundary– really wrong? Or does it feel wrong because it’s dif...
Source: PickTheBrain | Motivation and Self Improvement - Category: Consumer Health News Authors: Tags: communication featured happiness psychology self confidence self-improvement guilt needs Source Type: blogs